“What are you thinking, Kinsley?”
“I didn’t do anything wrong. How is this any different than what you do? What you’ve done,” I stress.
“Because I’m in college. I’m an adult who can make decisions with my head and not my heart. What you have isn’t going to last. It’s perfect right now, but when it ends, you’ll regret it, Kinny. I don’t want you to get your heart broken.”
There’s no use arguing with him about this. He’s never going to be on the same page with me. Not when he’s busy being a protective older brother. So, I use the only line of defense I can think of. “Is Becca a mistake?”
“What? No.”
“Is she old enough to know what she wants?”
“Of course she is.”
“Is what you have with her real?”
“It sure as hell feels that way.”
“Exactly. I’m no different than Becca. Only my guy is the same age as me.”
Wyatt mulls it over for a few seconds, and kicks at a rock on the ground when he realizes I have a point—that his little sister isn’t so little anymore.
“I love him, Wyatt, and I don’t regret a single second of the times we’ve been together.”
He doesn’t say anything back to me. He just shoves his hands in his pockets and walks away. I don’t want to lose my brother over a guy, and I don’t think I have. Still, he knows the one way to hurt me the most is to leave.
Rhett’s by my side once he’s gone, rubbing my back in support. “Sunny, why don’t we go shower and get changed. He’ll come back when he’s ready.”
I nod my head, because he will. He needs time, and maybe I do, too.
I’ve showered, eaten both breakfast and lunch, and still, there’s no word from Wyatt. Becca’s texted me, so I know they’re still walking around the fairgrounds, but she isn’t saying much either. I don’t understand what’s gotten into the two of them, but the fact that they don’t want to be around us, hurts.
“Do you want to hang out a little longer?”
I glance at the time on my phone. “No, we have to get back. Is everything packed up?”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to rush. If you want to wait, that’s okay.”
Part of me wants to sit here all night until Wyatt comes back, but we have school tomorrow and at least a two hour drive ahead of us. “He’s not coming back. We can leave.”
I feel a familiar hand on my shoulder, and when I turn around, I see the remorseful eyes of my brother. “I’m sorry, Kinny.”
Rhett walks over to his truck and stands with Becca, the both of them giving us a little space to figure things out. “What took you so long?”
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes the way it usually does. “What you said, the way you compared yourself to Becca, got me thinking.”
“How so?”
“I guess I always knew I liked her. I mean she’s been on my mind for over a year now, but when you said what you did, I realized just how much she means to me. And if you feel for Rhett half of what I feel for Becca, then who am I to stand in your way. I want you to be happy. We’re both young as shit, but sometimes when you know, you just know. Right?”
“When did you get so wise?”
“I’ve had a lot of help from my little sister,” he teases. “Becca and I are official.”
“Really! It’s about time. She told me you hooked up at homecoming, by the way.”
“It was more than that—always has been. We both knew it, but I think me being away might have been what helped us.” He’s quiet for a second, before he says, “Do you remember what Mom used to tell us before she passed?”
How could I forget. I can hear her voice, feel her hand on mine, and see her face like it was yesterday. “I’ll be seeing you when I fly away,” I whisper, remembering how many times she told us she’d always be there, always see us no matter how far away heaven was.
“Yeah,” he says. “Well, I thought about that, and no matter how far I am from Becca, I always feel her with me—just like Mom said. She’s in all my thoughts, and I feel like maybe it’s for a reason. Like maybe Mom sent Rhett and Becca to us so we wouldn’t be alone anymore.”
“I thought that, too. If she did, she picked two perfect choices.”
“I know she did. Fuck, I miss her, Kinny. I’m so mad at Dad, but I think I’m starting to understand a little bit of his pain. I thought it would get easier as time passed, but I still miss her as much now as I did back then—if not more.”
“I miss them both. Becca probably told you, but I thought I saw Dad at the game. And then I had a panic attack.”
“Do you get them a lot?”
“I used to, but not much anymore. Not since I’ve been with Rhett, but I don’t even know what I’d do if he came back, Wyatt. Part of me needs him to, yet I don’t want him to. I guess that’s my anger talking.”
“We have each other. Always remember that.”
“I will. I love you, Wyatt.” My big brother wraps me in his arms, and while I may not have the two people who are supposed to love and protect me most, I have the best big brother a girl could dream of.
“KINSLEY,” WAKE UP.
I open my eyes, and Carson’s staring back at me. Not even realizing I slept right through my alarm, I glance at my clock, shocked to see I slept twelve hours straight. “Shit, thanks for waking me.”
“You’re pretty late for school. Are you sick?”
I sit up, wiping the sleep from my eyes. “No, just tired.”
“You’ve been working too much. Why don’t you take some time off, I’ve barely seen you since Fall Fest and that was a month ago.”
Carson’s right. We haven’t had any of our usual couch conversations. We haven’t hung out at all really. With the holiday’s right around the corner, I’ve been working extra shifts at the diner to be able to afford presents. When I’m not at work, I’m usually with Rhett. I don’t even know what’s going on in my own sister’s life anymore. If she’s awake, I’m at school. When she’s at work, I’m home.
I slide out from under my warm blankets, shivering as soon as my feet hit the floor. “You’ve been back and forth to see Stacy a lot. You haven’t been home much either.” I don’t say it because I’m jealous, I say it because I don’t want him trying to make me feel guilty for spending my free time with Rhett instead of him.
“I go to the campus to see Wyatt, Kins.”
“Oh come on, you see her, too.”
“It’s hard not to. She’s practically his neighbor, but it’s not a big deal.”
Stacy bothers me, but it doesn’t bother me that they’re seeing each other—even if he swears it’s just casual fun and nothing official. “You can do way better than her, you know.” He stares at me, and I grab my towel off the back of my desk chair, holding it tightly against my chest.
“I know I can, but she hasn’t come to her senses yet. There’s breakfast on the table when you’re finished.” He turns and walks out of my room, leaving my head spinning.
I shuffle into the bathroom, praying my headache and cramps are for a reason, but I’m not that lucky—I’m still late. My mind wants to panic, but I try to block out the possibility of being pregnant and focus on getting out of this house.
By the time I get to school, I already missed first period. I wait for Rhett outside our photography class, and when he sees me, he smiles, instantly making me forget about my possible problem. “You need to stop being late. That class isn’t as fun without you.”
He kisses me, and I wrap my arms around his waist, soaking up his warmth. “I’d still be sleeping if Carson hadn’t woken me up.”
Rubbing my back he says, “I hate that he got to see you before me, but I’m glad you’re here.”
“I guess I’ll see you at lunch.” I make no attempt to move or to unwrap my arms from Rhett’s body.