Tammy shakes her head. “No, it’s too early. We’ll be able to tell around twenty weeks. You’re measuring between five and six weeks today.”
I do the math in my head. Fall Fest was six weeks ago. That means Rhett and I made a baby one of our first times together. “You’re not going to tell anyone about this are you? I can tell them?”
“This baby is your responsibility now, Kinsley. We respect your privacy as our patient, and we’ll send you home with everything you need to begin a healthy pregnancy.”
I rest my head against the exam table, wondering how I’m ever going to break the news to my sister. I never meant for this to happen, but now that it has, I’m afraid I’m going to lose everyone I love.
I should tell Rhett first, but I don’t know how. What if he breaks up with me?
As soon as the test is finished, I take my papers, and practically run out of the office into the cold November air. It all hits me at once, the baby, losing my friends and family, how disappointed my parents would be—and all I can do is sit on the bench and cry.
The playground across the street is filled with kids, and suddenly elementary school doesn’t seem that long ago. I feel closer to a bunch of kids than the adults I was just with. I’m practically a kid having a kid—it only makes me cry harder.
I cry for every dream I’m going to have to give up, every person I’m about to disappoint, and a baby who never asked to be brought into the world. A baby I don’t want to have, yet somehow already care about—even if it has the power to destroy me.
“WHERE’S KINSLEY?” JAKE asks when we sit down to lunch.
“I don’t know. She disappeared after gym.”
Mandi, who still insists on sitting at the end of our table, glances at me, and then ducks her head. She’s been acting weird since she sat down.
Grayson slams his tray on the table, sitting next to Mandi. “What the hell happened in gym this morning, slugger?”
For the first time ever, Mandi’s almost speechless. “It was an accident,” she whispers.
“That’s not what I heard. Rumor has it you made the slap shot of the century and knocked Kinsley on her ass.”
I throw my sandwich down on my tray. “What?”
“Yeah, man. It’s all over the school. Your girl threw up on the free throw line. How do you not know this?”
I spent last period in the wood shop, grinding the shit out of wood. I pull out my cell phone and dial her number, but it goes straight to voicemail. A text goes unanswered, and now I’m freaking the hell out. “Did she go home, Mandi?”
“I think so. She was throwing up.”
I run my hands through my hair, “Jesus, what did you do to her?”
“Nothing! It was an accident.”
Accident or not, it still happened. And I know better than to believe she didn’t do it on purpose. Everything with that girl does is calculated and planned—to her advantage. Regardless of what she had planned, I try messaging Kinsley a couple more times, but there’s still no answer.
I have no choice but to sit and wait.
Each period that passes, the clock moves a little slower. By the time the final bell rings, I skip my locker entirely, not even caring if I have the books I need to do my homework. Now that football is over, I can actually leave school on time which means I’m in her driveway in six minutes flat.
I run up the stairs to her apartment, and knock. Nobody answers, but her car’s parked right next to mine. I turn the knob and push the door open. “Kinsley?”
The house is quiet. Her bedroom door is cracked, so I push it open, trying my best not to scare her. She’s in her bed with her blankets covering her, but I can hear her crying. “Sunny, what’s wrong?”
She sits up, no doubt shocked to see me standing in the middle of her bedroom. “You didn’t expect me to stay away, did you?”
She shakes her head, and lays back down. “I was going to call you back in a few minutes.”
“How long have you been home?”
“About twenty minutes.”
“Where’d you go after gym class?”
“The doctor’s office.”
“Grayson told me what happened at lunch. What did the doctor say? Are you okay?”
She doesn’t answer me, so I take my shoes and coat off, and kneel on the floor beside her bed. Reaching out, I hold her cheek in my hand, running my thumb back and forth across her skin. “I missed you,” I tell her, hoping she says something. Right now, she’s scaring me a little.
“I missed you too,” she says, nervously.
“What’s wrong, Sunny?”
She bites her lip, tears forming in her eyes again. “Rhett, I don’t know how to tell you this.”
“You can tell me anything. Just talk to me. I’ll make whatever’s bothering you go away.”
She closes her eyes just as the first tear falls. “You can’t make it better this time.”
“Why not?”
“Because—because I’m pregnant, Rhett.”
Her words literally knock me on my ass. I hit the carpet and fall flat on my back, staring at the ceiling. She cries harder, and I realize my reaction wasn’t the best, but she just told me I’m going to have a kid. A fucking kid. “You’re sure?” I ask from my spot on the floor.
“I took a test.”
“Could it be wrong?”
“No, I had an ultrasound after the test.”
I get off the floor. Still a little dazed. “You saw it?”
“I heard the heartbeat, too.”
No wonder she’s crying. She’s had a long ass day. “What did it look like?” It’s a stupid thing to say, it’s a damn baby, but I don’t know what else to say to her. I’m probably supposed to have all kinds of questions.
“Like a dancing gummy bear.”
“Seriously?” She slides her hand under her pillow, and pulls out a little black and white picture. “Is that?” I can’t even say it out loud. Our baby.
“I don’t know what it is yet, but they’ll tell me when she’s bigger.”
I stare at the picture in my hands, amazed that we created something—a little gummy person. She’s right, it looks exactly like a bear. “You said, she. Do you think it’s a girl?”
“Did I? I guess I always pictured myself having a little girl someday. Not now, though.”
“What do you mean, not now? It’s already done, Sunny.”
“I know that,” she snaps.
“Sorry, I just.”
“I’m scared out of my mind, and I know it’s going to ruin our lives, but I can’t,” she sobs.
“Shhh, it’s okay, Kinsley. It’s not going to ruin our lives—I won’t let that happen. We’ll figure it out.” I don’t have a single clue how we’re going to figure it out, but I tell her anyway, because I’m the one who did this to her. I just want to protect her. “Until I figure out what to do, we can keep it between the two of us.”
“I have to tell Kate. I can’t go through this without her.”
“Just for now, just until I figure out what we’re going to do, I want you to keep this a secret. Can you do that for me? I need you to promise me, Sunny.” If my parents find out, we won’t stand a chance. They’ll rip Kinsley and the baby away from me.
“What’s to figure out? In seven and a half months, I’m having a baby.”
“We have college next year. We’re graduating in seven months. There’s a lot to consider.”
She sits up on the edge of her bed, protectively wrapping her arms around our baby, her chin quivering. “So, a couple weeks after we graduate, I’ll have a baby. I might not even make it to graduation, Rhett.”
“We’ll have a baby.” Still on my knees, I move between her legs. I wrap my arms around her back, while her hands instinctively comb through my hair. I kiss her still flat stomach picturing what it will look like a couple months from now. Never in a million years did I imagine this would happen, I mean, we’re having sex, but we’ve been pretty careful.