“I’m scared, Rhett,” she whispers.
I pull my head away from her stomach, looking into her teary eyes. “Sunny, I don’t know what we’re going to do yet, but I’m going to do everything I can to keep us together—no matter what.” She’s quiet, but I need her to believe in us. “Tell me you trust me, Sunny.”
“I trust you.”
IT’S BEEN A week since I found out I’m pregnant. Each night, I stay up beyond the point of exhaustion, trying to wrap my head around the idea of becoming a mom. An actual mom with a baby of my own. No matter how many times I run different scenarios through my mind, I can’t make any situation work. Rhett and I don’t have a place to live, or enough money to survive without the both of us working full-time jobs, yet we don’t have diplomas to get decent jobs in the first place.
My interview with Parsons is coming up, which only depresses me more. There’s no way I can still go to New York. It was going to be a struggle to support myself in the City. Adding a baby to the mix would be next to impossible. Still, I don’t have the nerve to call and cancel the appointment—not yet anyway.
“Are you okay? You’ve been quiet today.” Rhett asks, as we leave school for the day.
“Just thinking, sorry.” I haven’t told him I haven’t cancelled yet. I guess a part of me is still hoping I can make it work—even if I already know there’s no way I could split up my family. Not having one of my own is all the more reason that this baby should have both parents.
“You don’t have to be sorry, Sunny. I get it.”
“I hate being a problem.”
Rhett stops walking in the middle of the sidewalk, turning me to face him. “You’re not a problem. I don’t want you thinking like that.”
“Everything’s different though. You’re not the same, I’m not the same. All I do is throw up and cry. I kind of can’t stand myself.”
We start walking again, and when we get to my car, Rhett opens my door and tosses my bag in the passenger seat. He even helps me get inside like I’m nine months pregnant instead of two.
He kneels down beside me, reaching for my hand as soon as my seatbelt clicks into place. “Are you okay to drive? I can take you home.” He slides his fingers underneath the seatbelt, making sure it’s not too tight on my stomach.
“I’m fine—still feel nauseous, but it doesn’t really go away. At least there’s plenty of crackers and a never ending supply of ginger ale at the diner.”
Rhett sighs, and runs his hand through his hair. It’s what he does when he doesn’t like what I’m saying. Trust me, I’d rather go home and sleep, but I have to make as much money as I can before this baby comes. Especially considering I might be on my own, sooner rather than later, if Kate decides she’s ready to move to Philadelphia. Her own relationship has been strained and I see how much she misses her boyfriend. I hate that she’s stuck because of me.
“I’ll stop in and see you. At least if I’m sitting at one of your tables, it’s one less person for you to wait on.”
I reach out and run my thumb along Rhett’s cheek, wondering how I got so lucky to get this guy, and so unlucky to get pregnant. In the back of my mind I always knew getting pregnant was a possibility, yet I never imagined it would happen to me. It’s stupid to be so naïve, but I thought I had been through enough already. There was no way I’d have to deal with a baby on top of everything else. Or so I thought. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I need the money—this baby is going to be expensive.”
So much for going balls to the walls this year. I’m back in parent mode—right where I started. Maybe this is the person I was meant to be all along instead of trying to be someone I’m not. The real Kinsley West is responsible, hard-working, and determined. I need to find her again.
“Don’t worry about money, okay? I’m going over to the club. There are a couple positions there I think I can get. If I can’t, I’ll toss around my dad’s name until someone caves.”
“Did you forget you’re the Rhett Taylor? They’ll want you working for them.”
“Do you want me?” He asks, quickly.
I stare at him a second, trying to figure out where he’s going with this, but I don’t have a clue. “Of course I do.”
“That’s all that matters to me, Sunny. We’re going to get judged once everyone finds out, but I like the idea of just you, me and the baby. I want to stay like this for as long as we can.”
“I do, too, but I feel like everyone’s been staring at my stomach all day. Do I look different?”
“No, you look perfect. They don’t know anything. It just seems like they’re watching you because we’re protecting our secret.”
“I need to tell my sister the truth, Rhett. I can’t wait much longer. If she finds out from anyone but me, it will only make it worse for us.”
Rhett looks over his shoulder, making sure nobody can hear our conversation. That’s all we need, for someone like Mandi to hear about it. It would be all over school faster than I can blink. “We shouldn’t be talking about this here.”
“I know. I have to get going anyway.”
Rhett leans in for one more kiss before closing my door and resting his palm against the glass of my window. I match my palm up with his before reversing out of the parking space, and heading home.
The drive’s short, but by the time I get there, I already feel sick again. Hurrying up the stairs, I sigh in relief when I don’t have to stop to unlock the front door. I’m not sure I could have made it to the bathroom had I stopped.
My backpack falls to the cool tile floor, as I heave into the toilet. My ribs ache, and my headache returns instantly. I’ve never been so sick in my life. Even the flu has never been this bad. At least that comes in with a vengeance and goes away. This has the potential to linger for seven more months.
When there’s nothing left inside me, I flush the toilet, and use the sink for support as I try to stand up. I brush my teeth again, and splash cool water on my face. I’m exhausted.
I reach for the door but it opens on its own. Carson sticks his head inside. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I must have eaten something bad at lunch. Haven’t felt right all afternoon.” I expect him to buy my lie, but I’m still so nervous, I can’t even look him in the eye. This is what my life's turned into—one lie after another.
I move to leave the bathroom, but he blocks the doorway, not letting me through. He stares at me, his eyes raking over every inch of my body. “Tell me the truth, Kins.”
Instantly, I panic. He knows. But how? “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m going to be late for work if you don’t move.”
“Then you’re going to be late because I’m not moving.”
“Carson, please. Betty is expecting me.”
“Tell me,” he pleads. “Just say the words.”
I push on his chest, begging him to move, but he only grabs my wrists and holds them so I can’t get away. “Stop it. Leave me alone!”
“Kinsley, I know. I found the box when I was taking out the trash.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t lie to me, Kins.”
Tears prick my eyes, and no matter how hard I try to keep them inside of me, I can’t. “Let go of me.”
“It’s true. Isn’t it? You’re really pregnant.”
“Yes,” I whisper. As soon as he comprehends what I’m saying, he lets go of my wrist, and drops his head in defeat. He rests his head against the doorframe, and it’s clear how disappointed he is in me. But what he feels is nothing compared to the way I feel about myself.
“How could you let him touch you? Did you really think it would last? That he’s going to blow off college to stay home and take care of you?”
Each word out of his mouth stings more than the last. I want to scream at him, but I can’t. Not when there’s a good chance everything he’s saying is the truth. Rhett loves me, but he might love his future more. “Please, stop.”