Uh . . . should you be here?
Probably not, but unless you order me to leave, it would take a monumental effort to remove me from your side tonight.
Heat swept up from my chest as I realized just what he was implying. I’d all but given him the go-ahead to jump into bed with me, but he really was going to do it? Excitement fluttered in my stomach. Naomi won’t like it.
He thought something extremely rude about her that made me smile. I entered the trailer, waiting for him to close the door behind himself before I looked at him.
“I’ve wanted to have you alone for a long time,” I said, every bit of me tingling at the nearness of him.
“Even when you thought I was trying to control your life?” he asked, one side of his mouth going up in a smile.
“Well . . . I won’t say there weren’t some fantasies about decking you with a two-by-four mixed in there, but for the most part, even then. Ben, I know I sound like an inarticulate, confused twit—”
“No, you don’t.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Perhaps you sound a little confused,” he admitted with a grin. “But I understand that this is of vital importance to you. Which is why I’m prepared to give you the space you need should you require more of it.”
“I appreciate that.” I bit my lip, trying to figure out how best to get his clothes off him without looking like that’s all I could think of. Which it was, but he didn’t have to know that.
“Are you sure you wish for me to be here tonight, Francesca?” he asked, and the meaning behind his words was extremely clear.
“I’m sure of that. But, I’m . . . uh . . . it seems a little crude of me to just tell you to strip, and then pounce on you. Although right now, that really does sound good.”
He laughed and gently pulled me into his arms. “We will do this slowly, all right? If you wish for me to stop at any time, I will.”
“You will? Really?” I gazed up into his eyes, those beautiful eyes now the color of gold-bespecked honey oak. “What if we had been going at it for a bit, and you were about to”—I waved one hand around in a vague gesture—“blast off?”
He grimaced. “Then I would stop. I’d probably die in the process of stopping, but it would be a noble sacrifice to know that I gave my life making you happy.”
“I never realized just what a big ham you are,” I said and giggled, nipping his lower lip. “Oh, Ben. Even when I didn’t want to be bound to you, I still couldn’t stop thinking about you. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”
I know exactly how long, because I’ve endured each second of it wanting you, as well. And now, seeing you as a woman—my woman—so near to me, has almost pushed me beyond all bearing. His mouth was as hot as a furnace as he took charge of the kiss, making me squirm against him as his tongue twined around mine. I pulled off his shirt, my mind giddy with the sight and feel and taste of his bare chest.
I wrapped my arms around him, pressing little kisses to his bare shoulder. You don’t think I’m . . . um . . . You don’t think I’m wrong for wanting to have sex with you, but not Join with you, do you? It’s not against some sort of vampire code, is it? Because I haven’t made up my mind yet about the Joining, and if this is going to be taken as a tacit acceptance of the idea that I’m your Beloved—
If you do not wish for it to be an acceptance, then it will not be. His mouth moved on my skin, his hot breath making me shiver with pleasure as he pulled off my own top, his hands busy with my breasts.
It wasn’t exactly the words I wanted to hear, but it was enough.
I shivered when he nibbled on my shoulder, his hands stroking my breasts, the satin of my bra rubbing sensuously against my nipples. “You know, if we’d done this all those years ago—oh, yes, please!” My fingers clutched the thick muscles of his shoulders as he dipped his head and licked the valley between my breasts.
He chuckled into my mind as my bra fell to the floor, his mouth instantly claiming one of the aching nipples that were waiting just for that touch. I arched my back, stroking and clutching and pulling his shoulders as little spirals of pleasure and heat sank low in my secret parts.
There is a reason we did not, Francesca. You were too young to understand what a physical commitment would mean. Imogen urged me to give you time. She wanted me to show you that you mattered beyond my own base needs, and it didn’t take me long to realize that she was right. I wanted you to come to me without coercion. I wanted to know you were truly mine, and I was content to wait for that.
You think I was that much of a pushover, huh? I was a bit indignant about that. Until he kissed a path over to my other breast, his fingers and mouth working to bring me to a frenzy.
Right. I was. Thank god for your presence of mind. My nipple feels abandoned and unloved, could you please . . . Words flew out of my mind, replaced only by the sensation of Ben’s mouth on my breast, nibbling, licking, and teasing me, my sensations mingling with the ones he was feeling.
I knew that you were ripe for seduction, yes. But that wouldn’t have been what was best for you. You were simply too young, as I quickly realized.
I hope to the stars that you are over such a protective attitude, because it’s very irritating. Would you like me to reciprocate?
Reciprocate making decisions for my welfare?
“No, do you want me to nibble on your nipples? I’ve heard that some men are into that, and others aren’t. Are you go or no go in that respect?”
He lifted his head from where he was nuzzling the underside of my breast. “I’ve never been stimulated that way, no.”
“Ah.” I looked at his chest. “Maybe I should just give it a try and we’ll verify that.”
“If you wish, although I don’t want you to be disappointed when I don’t—” He froze when I gently, ever so gently, bit his nearer nipple.
His eyes rolled back into his head when I stroked one hand down his chest, to his crotch, feeling the hardness beneath the fly of his jeans.
He stopped breathing when I let him feel just how much enjoyment I was receiving from tasting him, kissing his chest, stroking his back, and running my thumb up and down his growing proof of arousal.
“Oh, no, you’re not finding this stimulating at all,” I cooed into his other nipple, licking it until Ben grabbed my shoulders and groaned with unadulterated pleasure. “I really like the taste of you, Ben. I had no idea men could taste . . . well, manly. Without being sweaty or musky or anything unpleasant like that. You taste kind of hot, kind of smoky, like you’ve been out by a camp-fire. You smell . . .” I took a deep breath, relishing the way his scent seemed to quicken my blood. “You smell wonderful.”
He nuzzled my neck as I moved up to kiss his shoulder, silent for a few seconds. Are you sure, Francesca? Absolutely sure? If we do all those things you are thinking of doing, assuming I survive them, and I may not because you have evidently become quite inventive during our five years apart, if we do them, it will mean we are just one step away from Joining.
I gently bit the tendon of his neck, causing him to rear back with a startled flash in his eyes.
“I’m certain. Only . . . it sounds trite to say be gentle, but I’m new to all this, so I’d appreciate any pointers on what you give a green light to, and what leaves you cold.”
“You had no trouble finding several new things I give the green light to,” he said, his body trembling a little as I stroked down the front of his fly again.
“I didn’t say I was naive, just new to—”
The door to the trailer opened. Imogen, out of breath and looking very worried, dashed in. “Fran? Are you here? When you disappeared, I was worried, but then I heard from Desdemona that you and Ben had the most appalling scene, and I knew you must be all—oh. You’re here.” Her eyes took in the fact that neither of us wore shirts. “I . . . uh . . .”