“That is how life is. I think you are worrying unduly,” he murmured in between kisses pressed to my neck. “We have both changed during the last few years. Can you not accept that? I have.”
“I don’t want you to simply accept me,” I protested, pushing back from his chest. “I want us both to be more than just comfortable.”
His mouth was hot on my flesh as he bit gently on my earlobe before moving over to my breastbone, trailing what felt like fire. “I am extremely uncomfortable at this moment.”
I clutched his shoulders, my breath already ragged and uneven, those parts of me that had anticipated his touch for so long becoming very aware of him. My breasts almost hurt they were suddenly so sensitive, and when he whisked off my shirt, burying his face in my cleavage, I thought I might pass out with the sheer pleasure of it all.
A loud clang outside the trailer had us both recalling where we were. Without speaking, I peeked out of the blinds, relieved to see that it was just Karl, Kurt’s brother, moving past with a prop. “False alarm. Are you tired? How much sleep did you get in Naomi’s bed?”
His gaze was steady on me. “You’re never going to forget that, are you?”
“Not for a very . . . long . . . time,” I answered pleasantly.
He looked like he was going to sigh again, but instead he smiled ruefully, his smile making everything inside me wobble like gelatin. “Naomi tiraded about you most of the day, so I did not get much sleep.”
“Poor little sleepy vampire.” I moved over to the door, locking it before turning to look at him. He watched me with hope in his eyes. I smiled and held out my arms. I didn’t even see him move. One second he was standing a good twelve feet away, the next I was plastered against his chest, feeling every inch of him. I couldn’t help myself. I melted into a giant puddle of Fran, my legs going just as wobbly as the rest of me.
Ben slid an arm behind my knees and stood holding me, indecision gripping him as he turned to face the door at the end of the trailer.
“Would you mind your mother’s bed?”
“Under any other circumstances, yes. But I think she’d understand. And if she doesn’t . . . well, we’ll just deal with that.”
Before I could blink, I was on my back on the bed, Ben’s body pushing me into the mattress. His mouth and hands seemed to be everywhere at the same time, touching me, teasing me, stroking and tormenting my suddenly bared flesh in a way that was so overwhelming, I could do nothing more than writhe against him, trying to touch, tease, and torment him as well.
He reared back when I got both hands on his rear end. “How did you do that?” I managed to ask, noting with interest that his eyes were mahogany, shimmering with passion that left the little gold bits sparking as if they were made of flames.
He flexed his cheeks. “It’s always been that way.”
“No, not how did your butt get to be this way—although, I have to say, Ben, if I had known all those years ago that you had a butt this fabulous—well, that’s beside the point. What was I asking?”
He leaned forward, and a shiver went down my body at the sensation of his chest hair on my breasts. His mouth took possession of mine long enough to leave me almost completely witless. “I don’t know. You asked how I did something.”
“How come you can think and I can’t?” I demanded, sliding my hands up his spine, dragging my nails along his backbone. He groaned, his eyes closed for a few seconds. “I object to you being able to do that.”
His head dipped and he sucked on the spot behind my ear that he knew full well turned me into mush. “Do what?”
“That thing. With your brain.”
“Think?”
“Yes, that! I want to think, too, Ben. I want to be able to analyze what it is you’re doing to me, and what I’m feeling, and what you’re feeling, and what’s going to happen next, and whether or not you’re going to do the behind-the-ear thing on the other side of my head, because that ear is feeling a little left out.”
He laughed in my head as he duly attended to the other shivery spot, making me quiver with arousal. You are the most delightful woman I have ever met, Francesca. Am I overwhelming you?
Yes, but that’s okay. What are you going to do next?
I’m sorry, he said, moving off me. I’m trying very hard not to rush this for you. I know this is your first time, and I don’t want you frightened by anything we do.
I blinked at him, pulling at his arms until his top part was over me again. “Who says I’m frightened? And, Ben, I’m not a virgin.”
He froze for a moment, his face impassive. “You have not been with another man. I would know if you had.”
“No, of course I haven’t. I explained that. But a girl can have toys, you know.”
His frozen expression relaxed, a wicked glint coming into his beautiful, expressive eyes. “What sort of toys gave you pleasure? Were they ones that touched you here?”
Oooh, Mr. Naughty! I squealed as his head dipped and his teeth scraped gently across the nipple nearer him. I swear my eyes crossed when he followed that with a long, wet lick of his tongue. No, no boob toys.
He moved slightly, so he could take care of my other breast, the sensation of his hair and slightly stubble-roughened cheek as they brushed against sensitized flesh sending little zings of electricity down my skin, where it pooled low and hot.
His hand followed the path of the electricity, sliding down my stomach until his fingers curled into my warmth. Did your toys touch you here?
Maybe. Oh, sweet stars and moon, do that again!
He did, kissing a wet trail down my breastbone and stomach as his fingers, his clever, clever fingers, danced among intimate parts of me, making my stomach tighten, my hips twitch, and various bits that had previously possessed purely mundane functions suddenly start clamoring for more Ben, much more Ben.
When his fingers sank into me, I saw not just stars but entire constellations, and quite possibly a galaxy or two. When he nudged my legs apart and settled himself there, his mouth returning to mine, I knew that all the years of waiting for him, all those lonely nights dreaming of him, all that time I had spent figuring out who I was so I could finally return to his arms where I belonged, all that had led me to this grand moment, this pinnacle of ecstasy, this joining of bodies and souls that I knew would be the most profound experience of my life.
Ben eased into my body, his mouth hot on my shoulder. Need roared within him, and was echoed in me.
I shifted my hips to better accommodate him, stroking his back as he gave one thrust, then suddenly moaned, No! Bloody hell . . .
What? What? What’s wrong?
Aw, Fran, I’m sorry, he murmured, his face now buried in my neck as his hips gave tiny little convulsive twitches.
Sorry about what? Sorry that we’re finally doing this? Sorry that I’m not a virgin? Sorry that I’m not good at it? Goddess! That’s it, isn’t it? I’ve disappointed you! I’ve failed at sex!
His body shook against mine, and I wanted to die right then and there. All those years waiting for this moment, and I was so awful at sex that Ben was shaking in repugnance?
He lifted his head, and I could see tears in his eyes, but the rolling laughter that poured out of him told me they weren’t tears of horror. He kissed me loudly, smiling down at me. “As if I found anything about you repugnant. I’m sorry because I anticipated this moment a bit too much.”
He slid out of me with a wet, squishy noise that startled me. We both peered down at the offending organ. “You mean you—”