“No, she shouldn’t,” Isleif agreed. “It’s hard on a man, that sort of a wait. Makes your stones ache.”
“Honest, there’s nothing I need advice about concerning sex—”
“Aye, it does.” Eirik fixed me with a stern look. “A man’s stones are not to be trifled with, goddess. If you insist on bedding the Dark One, then you must let him do so whenever he desires. Anything else would be cruel.”
I sighed. They were going to advise me whether I wanted it or not. Going with the attitude of the quicker it was over, the faster we could move on to important things, I said, “Right. Let him have sex whenever he wants. Don’t fuss over blood. Anything else?”
Isleif looked thoughtful. Eirik frowned at the empty bowl. “If he wishes to do unnatural things to you, allow it. It is not as unnatural as you think.”
“What sort of unnatural things?” I asked, picturing Isleif’s son-in-law with his sheep.
Eirik cleared his throat and leaned toward me, speaking in a confidential tone. “He may wish to put his mouth on your woman’s parts. Some men enjoy that. Others refuse. I, myself, find it entertaining to make a woman squirm with pleasure, so if your Dark One wishes to do so, you must allow him. It would wound his pride if you were to refuse.”
I bit back the laughter that wanted desperately to burst forth. “Okay. I won’t make a fuss if he wants to indulge in oral sex. Now, if you’ve—”
“And if he starts talking about how pretty a particular ewe is, call us. We know just what to do,” Isleif added with dark meaning.
A little chirp of laughter escaped, but I managed to keep the rest of it contained. “I will definitely let you know if Ben suddenly falls in love with a barnyard animal. I hate to change this fascinating subject, but it’s already almost noon, and we really need to get cracking.”
Naomi chose that moment to storm out of her trailer, shooting me a glare that probably would have dropped a horse on the spot, before marching off to her car.
I thought about seeing if Ben was all right.
I am fine. Just tired. I am going to sleep for a bit. What are your plans for the next few hours?
I need to find the Vikingahärta. Any ideas of where I should look?
None, I’m afraid. I will help you if you like.
I was conscious of his hunger and exhaustion. Evidently Naomi hadn’t fed him. That pleased me to no end until I realized that Ben was the one who would suffer for me pissing her off. That’s okay. You rest up for a bit. Imogen offered to help, and I have the Vikings.
He thought something extremely unflattering to the Vikings, then inquired in a cautious manner, If I ask you if you will be all right without me, will you lecture me?
Not now. Later, perhaps. I can feel how tired you are. Did Naomi rip you a new one?
Just about.
I’m sorry, Ben. I shouldn’t have taunted her that way. Are you very hungry?
Not terribly. I can feed from Imogen if I must.
A little pain inside me burst into being at the thought of him feeding from others.
Naomi demanded that I attend the tyro tonight. I told her I would. That seemed to keep her from wanting to smite you on the spot.
I said nothing, but thought a great deal to myself. Sleep well, Ben.
I will dream of you. And the shower.
“Er . . . what were we saying?” I suddenly realized both Vikings were staring at me. “Oh! Today’s plans.” I slumped back against the lounge. “I’m at my wit’s end what to do. We don’t have the Vikingahärta, and I don’t have the least idea of where to even start looking for it. Or the lich who might have taken it.”
“You are a goddess,” Eirik said, shrugging. “You will use your goddess powers and tell us what we must do to find the Vikingahärta.”
“I’m not really a goddess, and I don’t have any . . .” I stopped, a light dawning in what passed for my brain. I looked at my hands. They were bare because I’d been with Ben, which meant I had been very careful not to touch anything I didn’t absolutely have to. I’d even used my T-shirt wrapped around my hand to open Naomi’s trailer door. “I wonder if I could.”
“Could what?” Isleif asked, flipping the long braids of his beard over each shoulder before donning a pair of sunglasses and squirting suntan oil on his belly.
“I wonder if I could touchy-feely my way to finding the guy who took the Vikingahärta.” I turned and looked speculatively at Imogen’s trailer.
“You are a goddess,” Eirik repeated, shooing me off the chaise so he could lie on it. He peeled off his shirt and used Isleif’s suntan lotion on his chest and arms.
“Eirik!” I said sternly.
“Aye?”
I pointed at his crotch, where the silk boxers were once again gaping in a manner that let everyone see clearly everything he’d been born with.
“Ah.” He yanked the boxers down and applied suntan lotion to his penis before pulling them back up. “It warms my heart to know you’re so concerned for the well-being of my rod, goddess. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to rut with me rather than the Dark One?”
“Quite sure, and that’s not what I meant for you to do.” His forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Oh, never mind. You guys stay here while I go talk to Imogen.”
“Finnvid is no doubt plowing her field, but he won’t mind if you watch,” Isleif called after me, pulling out an iPod. “He’s always been fond of audiences.”
Chapter 13
I knocked on Imogen’s door, waited a few seconds, and was about to use my T-shirt to open the door when it struck me that whoever entered her trailer most likely had to touch the door to do so. Taking a deep breath to calm my thoughts, I wrapped my fingers around the doorknob, allowing the imprints of the people who’d touched it recently to fill my head.
“Imogen, giddy and excited,” I murmured as I sorted through the images and emotions that were imbued on the metal. “Finnvid, filled with lust. Günter, annoyed and . . .” I tried to analyze the emotion that had been uppermost in Günter’s mind when he had touched the door. “Dutiful? Huh. Karl. Peter. Ben, very, very annoyed at Naomi.” I smiled at that before realizing there were no other traces that I could detect. Which either meant someone else had opened the door for the thief or he hadn’t gone into the trailer.
“Imogen? You decent and not in the middle of having your field plowed?” I poked my head in through the open doorway. I didn’t hear any sounds from her bedroom. “I’m really sorry to disturb you guys, but I kind of need to touch things in your trailer. You don’t have to come out if you’re busy.”
“Fran!” Imogen emerged from the bedroom, tying a belt around her white satin bathrobe. “Of course you are always welcome here. What did you need?”
“I’m sorry to bother you in the middle of . . .” I waved my hand toward the bedroom.
“You are no bother. We were finished.”
I looked beyond her, to where Finnvid stood naked, an irritated expression on his face. He looked anything but finished. I cleared my throat and turned so my back was to him. I heard the door slam behind me. “I thought it might help me figure out what’s going on with the Vikingahärta if I was to touch a few things in the trailer.”
“Oh!” She whirled around, the teakettle in her hand. “What an excellent idea! The lich must surely have touched things. You must start with the door.”
“I did.” I bit my lip, then listed the people who’d touched her door lately.
“That’s odd.” She frowned as she plugged in the teakettle. “There was no lich?”