I sit on the floor of the studio apartment and wait. I’ve been waiting three days. Three days of hiding. Three days of delay. Three days without action. I thought I felt confined in Jacks’s cell, but now I really am caged. Kay made it very clear—I’m not allowed to leave for any reason. Twice a day, Kay or Gareth bring me food and try without success to deflect my questions.
Gareth lived here before he became a Guardian, and they never reassigned the apartment. Kay made sure of that, so they could have somewhere to meet, away from the Rumble Room, away from the other Guardians who were more loyal to Dr. Reynolds and his crony Marcus. Dr. Reynolds has no idea I’m here in New Hope. For all he knows, I’m dead by order of Doc or killed during the Florae outbreak.
Though I’ve been instructed to stay away from the window, I can’t help myself—I creep up to it and pull back the curtains, peeking my head only slightly over the windowsill to survey the area. New Hope seems shockingly peaceful compared to Fort Black. We’re not near the center of activity, at the Quad or labs, but a lot of people still walk below, kids in color-coded jumpsuits, researchers in lab coats, and normal citizens whose apparel is what anyone would wear Before. A girl in a yellow jumpsuit catches my eye and for a moment I think I see Baby. The Baby who was so excited to wear yellow and was actually happy here when we first arrived. I pull the curtain closed and shake off my nostalgia, reminding myself that New Hope is not our home.
I pace the small room, my frustration starting to get the better of me. I haven’t been able to see Baby, much less figure out a plan to rescue her, and Rice hasn’t been able to get away long enough to come see me.
Rice.
Usually the thought of him calms me, but now, for some reason, the idea of seeing him agitates me further. Actually, I know the reason—Jacks. What if Jacks had been able to leave Fort Black? Would he be here with me now, cooped up in this tiny apartment? He would understand my agitation, my need to do something other than wait.
I think of our last moments together, Jacks covered in Tank’s blood. Is he still the Jacks I knew? He defeated Tank and then had to turn around and kill his own father. I hope he knows it was a necessity. I hope he’s safe.
I collapse onto the bed.
I want to fight, but all I can do is wait.
Chapter Thirty-four
When Gareth finally comes in, I practically pounce on him.
“Any news?”
“No, honey, nothing has changed since yesterday.” He pulls a sandwich from his backpack and hands it to me. He’s wearing a T-shirt and jeans, his off-duty clothes. It means he may be able to keep me company for a while.
Sure enough, he turns the TV on to the cartoon channel and lounges on the bed. Uneasy, I sit next to him and nibble on my sandwich. It’s impossible to relax when I know Baby’s so close.
“Amy,” Gareth says without looking my way, “I can probably get you some regular clothes.” It’s not the first time he’s offered. He thinks I should change out of my synth-suit, but I’m hesitant to remove it. I even showered in it, though wearing it almost eliminates the need for showering. When I stepped out of the shower, the suit was dry within a few minutes. I know it seems like I’m being overly cautious, but the outbreak at Fort Black just proved that I could need the suit at any time. It also feels right to wear it, a layer between myself and the world. It makes me feel safe.
“I’m fine,” I tell him, though that’s far from the truth. The silly cartoons on TV are starting to irritate me. “This is bullshit,” I say. “Why don’t they talk about the situation at Fort Black? Send a convoy to search for survivors?”
Like Jacks, I want to say. But I can’t push the words past my lips.
Gareth eyes me. “Dr. Reynolds doesn’t care about the people there.”
“What about Ken’s lab? His research?”
“They’ll probably send us back out to gather what we can.”
“When? After they think everyone will be dead or changed?”
Gareth just shrugs.
My sandwich has turned to cardboard in my mouth, and I place it on the counter. I can’t stop thinking about Jacks.
“And what about Brenna? Have you heard anything?”
Gareth shakes his head. When they landed in New Hope, Ken whisked Brenna away to the labs and disappeared along with her. Neither Gareth nor Kay have the clearance to access information about their whereabouts.
“This is killing me,” I say, growling. “I need to do something.”
“There’s nothing you can do.” He sits up and rubs his face. “There’s nothing any of us can do right now. We just have to wait for an opportunity.”
Gareth’s impassivity galls me, but then I think about all he’s done for me, and I can’t help but feel grateful. If he knew a way to help me, he would. He saved my ass when Dr. Reynolds found me coming out of the Rumble Room. He helped Kay break me out of the Ward. He was even there when Fort Black was imploding, piloting the hover-copter that carried us away.
A question comes to me.
“Were you with Kay when she picked me and Baby up on the lakeshore?”
“Yeah, I was flying the hover-copter.” He grins. “I have never seen Kay as pissed as she was after you shot her.”
“I’ve always wondered why you guys used the Florae net on us. Why didn’t you just land and ask us to come with you?” I learned standard procedure in my Guardian training, and scooping up post-aps like fish wasn’t part of it.
“There was a group of Floraes nearby. We thought it was too risky to take the chance of making noise while we explained ourselves to you. Kay said it was better to grab you and apologize later.”
“Kay apologize? Yeah, right.”
Gareth huffs a knowing laugh.
“I bet you guys wish you left us to the Floraes.”
Gareth shakes his head. “And miss all the excitement? No way. You sure do know how to get yourself into trouble, though.”
“And out of it,” I say in my defense.
Gareth just smirks. “But mostly in.”
“Hey, I did help the Guardians when Floraes were let into New Hope. I took care of myself then.”
“Yeah, that’s true.” The smile fades from his face. “Seriously, Amy. I admire you. I don’t know if I could survive the things you’ve survived.”
I wonder which parts he means. The After? The Ward? Finding out my mother kick-started the apocalypse?
Before I can ask him, there’s a loud knock at the door. Gareth and I look at each other, then he jumps up and peers through the peephole. When he sees who it is, he cracks the door enough for Kay to step through. She’s wearing her synth-suit, meaning she’s either on duty or in training. She’ll have only a few moments.
“Amy,” she says, walking to me, “you have to see this.” She takes a tiny thumb drive out of one of her pockets and hands it to me.
“What is it?”
“Footage of Baby. Ken got it to me.”
“Is she okay?”
“She’s alive.” Kay backs away toward the door. “I have to go before I’m missed. I’ll come back later, sunshine, so we can talk.” She looks at Gareth. “Make sure she’s okay after she watches that.” He nods and Kay disappears through the door.
Gareth goes to a drawer, pulls out a laptop, and turns it on. Numb with anxiety, I hand him the thumb drive and he plugs it in.
I don’t know what I expected, but when Baby’s face pops up on the screen, I let out a long, relieved sigh. She is alive, or was this morning when the video was taken, according to the time stamp at the bottom.
But the relief stops there. Baby is so pale that at first I think the recording is in black-and-white. Then I see she’s wearing her bright-yellow jumpsuit. Swimming in it, would be more accurate. Her face is gaunt and her eyes are shadowed, giving them a sunken look. She twirls a hair around her finger, then plucks it from her head. I flinch as though the hair had been attached to my own scalp. She did the same thing when we were in the After, right after we lost our home and before we came to New Hope.