“Rice, I really think there was something about that original batch that was different. Something that got into the mixture or wasn’t accounted for.”
“It was created in a lab, Amy, not some guy’s basement. We’ve replicated it thoroughly. We’ve modified the original, and still nothing. I’ve tested my own blood, and I can’t see anything in it that would suggest I’d be immune. Should I let myself get infected on the off chance that it will work, like it did for Baby? If I were gone, who would help her?” he asks quietly. “And besides, I don’t even know if Dr. Reynolds would let me take her place. He’s been training me since I was a child. He’s invested too much time and effort to let me go. He sees me as an asset,” he hisses, as if he hates the word. As if he hates himself. “He’d make me continue to test her and probably test myself as well.”
I feel my anger dissipating, like air leaking slowly out of a balloon. I’m left feeling guilty and ashamed of questioning Rice’s motives. Rice’s eyes are filled with hurt.
I reach out and take his hand. “I’m sorry,” I say quietly. “I know you’ve done everything you can.”
“Maybe,” Rice replies after a few moments. “Maybe I could speak with your mother, tell her you’re here.”
“No.” I shake my head slowly. “She can’t be trusted. She sold me out to Dr. Reynolds, left me to rot in the Ward.” Even as I say it, I know it’s not as straightforward as that. My mother also told Kay where I was, and tried to protect me from Dr. Reynolds for as long as she could. “It’s better if she doesn’t know.”
“What about Dr. Samuels?” I ask. “He got you a message when I was in the Ward. He gave Kay Dr. Reynolds’s key card to break me out.”
“I don’t know, Amy. I don’t even know if I can approach him without being found out. Everyone is so afraid of being put in the Ward or simply getting expelled. Dr. Reynolds went overboard after your escape, questioning everyone’s loyalty.”
“But not yours?”
“No. He thinks of me like a son.” His voice is full of bitterness. “More like his trained monkey.”
“Rice? What happened? What made you start to doubt him, and then . . . help me?” I almost said betray him instead of help me. “Was it Marcus hauling me away to the Ward?”
“That was part of it, but before that I found something. . . .” He stops himself, rubbing his hands, hard, over his face. “I found evidence that Dr. Reynolds . . . had my parents killed so he could adopt me. So he could use my brain in whatever twisted way he saw fit.”
His hands have fallen from his face. His eyes are huge, his face a mask of such pain and self-loathing that I want to forget all the resentment I feel for him and wrap my arms around him again. But then the horror of what Rice has said sinks in, and I place my hand over my mouth in shock. It shouldn’t be surprising, the lengths that Dr. Reynolds would go, but I can’t imagine the pain that Rice must have felt when he found out. I place my hand on his shoulder, trying to be a comfort.
“I don’t know how I ever thought he was a great man,” Rice says quietly. “Now he just seems like a madman.”
A madman who has Baby. I pull away. “Are you sure I can’t get in to see Baby?”
“I don’t know how, not without giving yourself up to him.”
“Do you know anything about Brenna?” I ask. “Are they doing the same things to her that they’re doing to Baby? I’m the one who brought Brenna to Ken. Any harm that comes to her is my fault.”
“Ken is working with her. He hasn’t told anyone that she’s immune. I only know he has her because Kay told me.” He drops his face a little closer to mine. “He won’t hurt her, Amy. He isn’t bad. He hasn’t told anyone about you being here, either.”
“I don’t think he’s bad,” I say. “He’s the reason I’m here. I think he’s just obsessed with finding a cure, or at least a vaccine.”
“Just like every other researcher here,” Rice says. “Even I . . . If I could just catch a break. There’s something I’m not seeing.”
“I understand the need for a Florae vaccine, but I wouldn’t trade Baby for one.”
Rice looks away, and I get the eerie feeling that he would choose a vaccine over Baby.
But then he says, “We have to be careful,” and I know he’s still on my side. “Dr. Reynolds is out of control,” he goes on, studying me. “It’s like you’re a ticking time bomb, Amy. You want to help Baby so badly, it’s all you see. If you let yourself go off, you’ll only make things worse for her. You know that, don’t you?”
“I know, but I feel so powerless. These last few days I’ve been bouncing off the walls. I think I’m going to lose it.”
“Remember when I told you to be strong, when you were in the Ward?”
I nod.
“And that worked, didn’t it?”
“It did.”
“So, again. Be strong.”
I look at him, into his pleading eyes, and I nod.
Rice stands to leave and we hug again, but my arms feel heavy and awkward. I don’t want him to go, but I don’t know why. I make myself step away and say, “Come back when you can.”
“I will,” he tells me. He leans in, and I think he’ll try to kiss me again, but he almost immediately changes his mind. He straightens up, gives me a curt nod, and then he’s gone.
During the next twenty-four hours, I can’t sleep or eat the food that Gareth leaves for me. All I do is think of Baby’s face in that video, pale and resigned. A ghost of the happy, vibrant girl I knew.
I sit cross-legged on the floor and close my eyes, trying to think of nothing. My mind automatically goes to Rice. The way he’s always cleaning his glasses and how his shaggy blond hair always ends up in his eyes. His striking blue eyes—intelligent, caring eyes. Part of me wishes that I could have kissed him again before he left, wishes I’d not let him leave at all.
My mind skips past Rice, and all I can do now is imagine the worst. All the people I know are in danger. And Jacks. The image of his face forces itself into my mind—his brown eyes clouding over into a milky yellow, his tattooed skin slowly turning green. I try to shake it from my imagination. I can’t think of Jacks right now. I just can’t. Surely, he fought them off. He wouldn’t have let his fear endanger his life.
But still, it wouldn’t matter, would it? Even a trained Guardian eventually would have been overwhelmed by the Floraes. The image of the monsters taking Jacks down returns; he’s changing into one of Them—
I shake my head.
I don’t care what Kay and Gareth say. I can’t wait for them, and I don’t care what’s out there. I can’t stay in this room a minute more. I go to the door, open it wide, and walk out.
Chapter Thirty-six
When I step through the door I nearly run into Kay, dressed in her synth-suit. She stares at me for a moment before whispering, “Amy, what the hell are you doing out here?” She grabs my arm and tries to pull me back in. “You know you can’t be seen.”
“I’m going to get Baby. It can’t wait any longer.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t be stupid. Do you think you can take on Dr. Reynolds and half the Guardians? You could die.”
“I would die for her, to give her a chance.”