Zoë nodded again.
Rolling her eyes briefly heavenward, Alyce glanced behind her at the closed door, extended her senses to scan the corridor outside — utterly deserted — then turned back to Zoë and passed a hand over the two candles Zoë had blown out. As she did so, both flared back alight.
Zoë flinched back involuntarily and her jaw dropped, but there was only delight writ across her face as her gaze shifted from the candles back to Alyce.
«You really can do it!» she whispered.
Rolling her eyes again, Alyce gave a sigh. «Well, of course I can do it. It's one of the first things we learn — that, and this». She lifted one closed hand between them, wrist upward, and conjured handfire in her palm as she opened her fingers, revealed as a faintly glowing sphere of green fire.
«Oh!» Zoë breathed, enchanted anew, and apparently still not frightened.
Shaking her head in amazed disbelief, Alyce quenched the handfire and glanced at the door again, leaning closer to her friend.
«Why did you ask me to do that?» she asked.
Zoë colored slightly and glanced down at her lap. «I — Alyce, I know what you are — and I obviously don't think that what you are is evil, or I wouldn't be saying this to you. I also know that you're very careful not to do anything here that might… frighten people.
«I didn't think that what you did was frightening», she went on less certainly, as she dared to look up, «but I think you must find it frightening to be so alone, knowing that most people are afraid of… what you are. I just wanted to say that, if you ever want to talk about it…»
Abruptly she stopped talking and glanced at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap, lips also clamped together, clearly afraid she had said too much. Alyce merely stared at her in astonishment for several seconds, uncertainty warring with the impulse to reach across and take her hand in reassurance.
She had been Truth-Reading Zoë Morgan as the words came tumbling out, and had no doubt that they had come straight from the heart. She had come to trust Zoë more than any other human she had known. But was it enough, merely to trust in the goodwill of another, no matter how well-intentioned, when one's very life could hang in the balance?
«Zoë, what is it you want me to do?» she asked softly.
«I — suppose that I want you to feel that you can talk to me about — about whatever is most important to you, the things that frighten you, the part of your life that you can't discuss safely with anyone else. I want you to tell me about what it's like to be — what you are». Zoë glanced nervously at the door.
«I want to know if it's true that our two peoples once worked together openly, and if it is, I — think I want to learn to do that, too», she finally blurted. «I know that will probably mean — letting you touch my mind, but I–I'm willing to do that, because I love you and trust you like a sister!»
Tears were welling in her eyes by the time she had finished, but when Alyce would have spoken, Zoë held up one hand and shook her head.
«No, don't say anything yet. There's more I need to say. I know that you must talk about these things with your sister and with Sister Jessilde, because she's — what you are. And I think that Father Paschal must be one, too, though I don't know how that's possible, with him being a priest and all.
«But I think that the real reason he comes here so often is not just to bring you letters and presents from home, or to tell you what's happening there, but so that he can continue your training. And Jessilde either helps him, or he's training her, too. If I'm wrong, tell me and I'll be quiet, but that's what I think».
Alyce had listened to this unfolding of logic in disbelief, though she was quite certain that Zoë was absolutely earnest in what she was saying. She was also wondering whether, if Zoë had reached such conclusions, others also might have done so. Caution urged her to simply seize control of the other girl's mind and erase all memory of this exchange, also blurring the logic by which Zoë had arrived at her all-too-perceptive conclusions — and that was what Father Paschal would have advised, she felt certain.
But another part of her rejoiced in her friend's unsolicited and tearful declaration, and was already considering ways in which she might allow what was being asked. To have a friend with whom she could be utterly candid, in everything…
«Zoë, have you told anyone else about these astonishing suspicions?» she asked softly.
Zoë drew herself up indignantly. «Certainly not!»
«Not even your confessor?»
«Not even him. No one», Zoë said emphatically.
Alyce drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. Whether she obeyed her head or her heart, she would have to set certain controls, to protect both of them; but especially if it be the latter, best it be with permission and cooperation. And she would need both time and privacy to do that properly — luxuries she did not have at the moment, for the bells would soon be ringing for the evening office.
«Zoë, give me your hand», she murmured, laying hers on the shelf between them.
In the other's eyes, she could see uncertainty warring with the trust just declared, but Zoë Morgan did not hesitate to place her hand in Alyce's, even though it was trembling.
«You are so brave!» Alyce whispered, lightly closing her fingers around Zoë's. «I know you said you weren't afraid, and I know you meant it, at the time. But how could you not be afraid? — though I promise you, on my immortal soul, that I'll not hurt you».
She cupped her other hand over their joined ones and dared to send a gentle tendril of calm across their link. At the same time, she bypassed Zoë's will to resist and began teasing out the necessary threads for plaiting a quick protection that must suffice until she could do the job right — or until Father Paschal could be persuaded to assist her. Zoë had gone very still, and a little glassy-eyed.
«Zoë, understand that it will take some time to do what really needs to be done», Alyce whispered as she worked, «and we don't have that time right now — not to do it properly. But in the meantime, I need to protect both of us».
«Are you — reading my mind?» Zoë managed to whisper, eyelids fluttering.
«No, I'm not — and I won't, without your permission — but I am setting up certain safeguards. For now, I'll simply require that you speak of this to no one. From this moment, you will be physically unable to speak of it, other than in my presence and with my permission. In fact, until I tell you otherwise, you'll have only vague recollections regarding what we've just discussed, and what's happening to you now. Later, I'll give you back full memory, but for now, that's what I need. I'd like it to be with your consent».
Zoë gave a slight nod, almost drifting into sleep.
«Good», Alyce said. She gave the captive hand a squeeze and released it, also releasing Zoë to the controls she had just set. «You know, we'd better clean up here, or we'll be late for chapel. Tomorrow we can pick up where we left off».
And by tomorrow, Alyce thought to herself, maybe I'll have figured out the best way to do what needs to be done. But oh, Zoë, bless you for your faith!
Zoë blinked and ventured a faintly bewildered smile that dissolved into a yawn. «Goodness, it's been a long afternoon, hasn't it?» she said. «I can't imagine why I'm so tired. I hope I don't nod off during evening prayers».
«We both could use some fresh air», Alyce agreed.
You are right that I would not have approved», Paschal said the next time he came, after Alyce had sent Zoë for refreshments, and told him what she had done. «But having said that, I must confess to being most impressed at how far you have brought her along». He had been examining one of Zoë's illuminated pages, but Alyce knew he was not referring to the artistry of pen or brush or paint.