I telephoned the younger son, Jason, and told him that Mrs Merton would probably die that night. He arrived at about 11 o’clock and sat with her through many watchful hours, and she died as the dawn of a new day was breaking.
None of us knows whether there is life after death, but the simplicity and beauty of Mrs Merton’s faith is something I have seen many, many times. It was not necessarily a religious faith – God, the Church, Heaven, were never mentioned. Mrs Merton’s faith was grounded in love. And God, we are taught, is love.
THE ADVANCE DIRECTIVE
Mrs Cunningham. The name was on the admission list for the day. Ovarian cancer, total hysterectomy at the Royal Free, and referred for radium treatment to the Marie Curie Hospital. The name rang a bell, and I remembered old Mrs Cunningham and the perpetual feud with her daughter – but was it the same person as the lady I had known when I was a junior student nurse?
Mrs Cunningham had had a minor operation, for varicose veins, I seemed to remember, the stripping of which in those days necessitated a fortnight in a hospital bed and a fortnight’s convalescence. Such a lengthy stay in hospital enabled patients and nurses to get to know each other, and she invited me to her home after her discharge. She was a very interesting lady, and also amusing in a la-di-da kind of way. Her husband had been in the diplomatic service and she had travelled all over the world with him. She had a sardonic humour and her comments were witty and pithy, and mostly directed against her long-suffering daughter, Evelyn.
Evelyn was a lady of about forty, a professional, with a first-class degree from Cambridge and a worn out expression, the latter acquired, no doubt, from her daily commute between Henley-on-Thames and London. Why they lived together, when they clearly hated each other, I could never make out. They would have been better off living apart, but they clung to each other with the horrible force of a lifetime’s habit. What had happened to Mr Cunningham I never discovered. They were both extremely reticent about him, but I gained the impression, rightly or wrongly, that he had disappeared with somebody else’s wife and a large sum of money.
One way or another, the two ladies were very hard up. They lived in a huge house in the best part of Henley-on-Thames, with a vast garden terraced down to the river, where they had a boathouse, but no boat. The house and garden were far too big for just the two of them, but they were too proud to give it up and move to something more suitable. And so they struggled on, Mrs Cunningham keeping house and tending the garden, which was really beyond her, and Evelyn earning the money, which just about kept body and soul together.
Mrs Cunningham had been all over India, Ceylon and North Africa with her husband, and as I had never been beyond the shores of England and was longing to hear about ‘those far away places with strange sounding names’, I cultivated her friendship. At the time she seemed to me very old, being sixty-two, but she had obviously had a very lively and adventurous life. In Morocco, at a time when all Moslem women were heavily veiled, she had dressed as one of them, and gone into the souks alone, something that few English women would dare to do, she told me.
‘It was the time of the French Protectorate, you know.’
No, I didn’t know. What did ‘Protectorate’ mean?
‘It really means domination. “What is it worth to you, if I don’t blow up your country?”’
‘That sounds dreadful.’
‘It’s common enough. All powerful countries do it, expanding their empires. But it wasn’t all bad. The French did a lot for Morocco, and a lot for me, indirectly, because it meant that I could converse with the women in the markets in French.’
‘Tell me about it, please. I’m dying to hear.’
‘Well, you have to get used to being woken up in the middle of the night by the muezzins’ calls to prayer, cried out from the mosques.’
‘The whatzzins?’
‘The muezzins, the callers.’
‘What sort of call?’
A noise like animals howling. It’s their religion. I can’t go along with it, myself. All religions are a lot of cant, in my opinion.’
She sniffed scornfully.
‘And you have to get used to never seeing a woman. I was about the only woman in the streets. If the women left their riads at all, they had to do so in groups, for mutual protection, I suppose, though I must say I was always alone, and none of the men molested me.’
‘What is a riad?’
‘An enclosed dwelling. It’s a kind of central courtyard with the dwelling areas all around it. I always thought this arrangement was a way of keeping the women locked up, but the men reckoned it was to protect them. There’s a very fine line to be drawn between protection and domination, you know.’
‘Tell me about the men.’
‘Well, they go around in these djellabas – long gowns with pointed hoods. Half of them look like Jesus Christ, and the other half look like Judas. I don’t think I ever spoke to a man unless my husband was present. Women couldn’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. Religion, perhaps. I wasn’t going to risk it. I wandered around alone and spoke to the women, but I thought I might be publicly stoned if I spoke to a man.’
‘Oh, surely not!’
‘Well, perhaps not. Perhaps I exaggerate. But I assure you, a woman could be stoned to death for adultery. Religion again! Let’s go out into the garden, dear. The sun’s come out, and you can help me to weed the rockery. It’s not often I get help. Evelyn won’t so much as lift a fork or a trowel.’
I reckoned that Evelyn probably did quite enough, earning the money, but kept my thoughts to myself.
Whilst we weeded, Mrs Cunningham continued:
‘The women did all the work in Morocco, as far as I could judge. “Women and donkeys always go heavy laden”, and by God, did they! Massive loads on their backs, and miles to walk. And if the woman had a baby on her back, the load would be carried on her head. Very often a strong young lad, a boy of fourteen or so, would walk beside her, carrying nothing. Though I must say a man would push a barrow or a truck. But he would never be seen carrying anything. He would lose face with the other men, you see.’
‘You were going to tell me about the markets.’
‘Ah yes. The souks. Fascinating. You would never see the likes here. Produce, food, animals, carpets, jewellery, ornaments – thousands of things brought in from miles around by donkey, and laid out on the sun-baked earth. Piles of fruit, fish, vegetables, meat, just stacked up on the ground. Great mounds of rice or lentils piled on a sack and weighed out by the bucket full. Meat, offal, lights, liver, brains laid on a sack, and swarming with flies, and the water seller going up and down, ringing his bell. Oh, it was wonderful! Here, for once, the women were in command, because they were the buyers. The men were the sellers, and in any economy the purchaser has the upper hand. I could have watched them for hours – the men wheedling and whining, the women firm and controlled. And the women always won.’
She leaned back on her heels and gazed up at the trees. ‘Oh, I’ve had a great life. I don’t know of any other European woman who dared to go alone into the souks, but I did. The colours, the smell of the spices, and the donkeys, the sun, and always the High Atlas mountains, snow-covered, in the distance.’
It sounded dreamy to me. I wanted to burst out of the constraint of my nurse’s training and take the first boat to Morocco. The very name of the country inspired dreams. But Mrs Cunningham was continuing:
‘The women had their fun, though, in the hammams.’