“Sir Henry,” I said, “I want you to serve not only me but the Princess Elizabeth. I fear there are some who, perhaps in their zealous care for me, might seek to do away with her. I want her to be guarded from such. It would cause me the utmost grief if aught happened to her and, although I were innocent of this, I should feel myself to be guilty.”
“Your Majesty shall have no fear,” he replied.
“I will guard the Princess with my life.”
“Thank you, Sir Henry. I put my trust in you.”
And I did.
Elizabeth complained bitterly, I know, of the stringent measures employed. She did not seem to realize that they were guarding her not only for my safety but for her own.
I was relieved when she had left for Woodstock under the guard of Sir Henry Bedingfield.
NOW THAT THE WYATT rebellion had been brought to a satisfactory end, Courtenay was removed from the Tower to Fotheringay. I intended that in time he should be released. He was little more than a boy—and a foolish, reckless one. I could not bear to think of that handsome head being severed. Antoine de Noailles had once said he was the most handsome man in England—and he was right. I had seen it in writing when Renard had intercepted some of his letters to Henri Deux. I really wanted to shut him away until he became less significant, and then release him and perhaps send him abroad.
Elizabeth was safe in the care of Bedingfield, and soon Philip would be arriving for our marriage.
But nothing seemed to run smoothly. The dissensions in my Council were growing. Paget and Gardiner were deadly enemies, and Philip appeared to be expressing marked indifference, for he made no move either to write to me or to come to England.
De Noailles… that man again… had now been forced to accept the almost certainty of our marriage, and it did not please him at all. However, realizing that all his attempts to stop it had failed, he shrugged his shoulders and said Philip and I deserved each other, which was meant, I am sure, to be uncomplimentary.
His brother Gilles, who proved to be a handsome and charming young man, had come to England. I could have wished he was in his brother's place.
He came to see me on a matter quite apart from state affairs. He told me that his brother, Antoine, had a newly born son and he would be so honored if I would help in the choice of godparents. Antoine would have asked me himself but he was afraid I did not regard him very favorably at the moment.
I was always delighted to be involved with babies and, in spite of the strained relations between the French ambassador and myself, and forgetting his blatant spying during the Wyatt rebellion, I said I should happily have undertaken the part of godparent myself but for the fact that I should shortly be going to Winchester, for what purpose he would know.
Gilles de Noailles bowed politely and smiled, as though he were delighted to see me so happy. How different from his brother, who had done everything he could to stand in the way of my happiness!
I chose the Countess of Surrey to act as my proxy for the christening, and Gardiner and Arundel were godfathers. My Council was amazed that I could give so much time to this man's affairs when he had proved himself to be no friend to me.
But I was so happy to be involved with a christening, praying all the time that I should soon be more deeply concerned with one nearer to me.
Meanwhile there were more misgivings. I had heard nothing from Philip himself. I had thought that he would write to me, send some token. The uneasy thought came to me that he was having to be persuaded, and I began to fear he might refuse me.
I knew the Emperor wanted the marriage, and that should be good enough. Philip could not disobey him. I did hope that my fears were groundless. I was now deeply in love, although I had never seen Philip. I assured myself that he was all that my romantic heart could desire.
There was whispering among the Council. Where is he? Why does he delay? What does it mean? Is this going to be another of those abortive betrothals? Will the Prince of Spain ever come to England and marry the Queen?
I would not listen to them. There must be some urgent matter which was delaying him. I knew the Emperor was always heavily committed, and naturally he would need the help of his son.
“All will be well,” I said to Susan.
But I could see that she was beginning to look a little worried.
Then, one June day, the Marquis de las Nevas arrived, bringing letters and gifts.
My happiness was complete. He was coming. He would soon be on his way. The weary waiting was over. Soon he would be with me. We should be married, and our happy life together would begin.
There were presents not only for me but for my ladies. There was a necklace of diamonds for me, and with it an enormous diamond with a pearl hanging on a long chain. It was the most exquisite piece of jewelry I had ever seen. I kissed it and told Susan I should love it always because it was a symbol of our love for each other. He also sent me a diamond mounted in gold which had been his mother's, given to her by the Emperor.
“Is it not beautiful?” I cried to Susan. “And doubly dear to me because it belonged to his mother.”
I had his picture. I thought he was wondrously handsome. They told me he was of short stature. Well, so was I, so we should match well together. I had not wanted a giant such as my father had been. Philip had a broad forehead, yellowish hair and beard, and blue eyes which might have been inherited from his Flemish grandfather; that he had the Hapsburg chin was evident.
How happy I was that night as I lay in my bed and thought of the future! There would be no delay now, and soon I should know that happiness for which I had so long yearned.
News followed. He would soon be on his way. Before he left, he spent a little time in Santiago with his son, Don Carlos. How I should have loved to be with them, to meet the boy. Philip would be a good father, I was sure.
It was touching that he had spent those days with his son, for when he was in England he would be separated from him. Perhaps some arrangement could be made. I could not leave the country. That was one of the penalties of queenship. Don Carlos might visit us. I would be a mother to him.
I could scarcely wait. Soon, I kept telling myself. And this time nothing will go wrong. I shall be a happy wife and mother.
At length Philip left his son and set out for Corunna, from whence he would sail for England.
There was trouble. It seemed there always must be. The English thought the Prince should sail in an English ship. This he refused to do and traveled in his own flagship, the Espiritu Santo. It must have looked splendid, upholstered in cloth of gold, displaying his banner. I was apprehensive and prayed that the weather might be calm. My prayers were unanswered, and for a day and night the ship battled against the elements, which must have been a sore trial to Philip, who was wont to be sick at sea. Fortunately in due course the gale abated, and by the time they came into sight of Southampton, the sea was as calm as anyone could wish it to be.
How glad he must have been to be on firm land—and, I hoped, to be brought nearer to me. It was a pity that our Admiral Lord William Howard should have offended him almost immediately. Howard, who prided himself on his bluff frankness, had made some jocular but slighting reference to the Spanish ships. I knew him well. He would have felt impelled to pierce Philip's dignity with what he would call good English humor. Philip would never understand that and would regard Howard's remarks as insulting. Then Sir Anthony Browne presented him with a white horse which I had sent as a gift. It was caparisoned in crimson velvet ornamented with gold. Philip said he would walk, at which Sir Anthony, who was a big man, lifted Philip, who was a small one, onto his horse; and although Sir Anthony kissed the stirrups as a gesture of deference, I cannot think Philip was pleased by the action.