I was frustrated. I was sure the rumors of his failing health were true; and that was of vital importance to me.
If only Chapuys had been here to advise me, or even the worthy François van der Delft; Scheyfve tried hard but his English was poor, and consequently he did not always understand what was going on.
Antoine de Noailles, the French ambassador, was a shrewd man, more of a spy, I fancied, than an ambassador; and as I was never sure on whose side the French would be, I felt alone and afraid.
Northumberland was expressing friendship toward me now. He sent me details of the King's illness—not that I always believed them; but his motive was to let me know that he was my friend. Did he mean he thought I should soon be his sovereign? When and if I were, he must have known I should never trust him. When he wrote to me, he addressed me with the full title which had not been accorded to me since my father put my mother from him: Princess of England. But how sincere was he?
Susan had heard a disquietening rumor that the Attorney General, Lord Chief Justice Montague, was at odds with Northumberland concerning a delicate issue.
“It is monstrous,” said Susan, “and I cannot believe it is true.”
She was hesitating, trying to put off telling me because she feared it would be a great shock to me. But at length it came.
“The King has decided to leave the crown not to his sisters, because they are children of marriages whose validity is in question… but to the heirs of the Lady Mary Tudor, sister to his father.”
I stared at Susan in disbelief. “That's impossible!” I cried.
She looked at me steadily. “The crown is to go to Lady Jane Dudley.”
“I… see. This is Northumberland's doing. He will make Jane Queen and Guilford Dudley King. And that means Northumberland will rule over us.”
“Montague says he will alter the succession… and that is treason. But then Northumberland replied that the late King did it.”
“That is not true,” I cried. “The crown passed to Edward after him, and Edward is his son and rightful heir. I am next and after me Elizabeth. That is what my father ordered.”
“So says Montague.”
“Then…”
She looked at me solemnly. “Montague has been browbeaten. He is a poor sick old man, and such do not wish to be embroiled in these matters.
They do not want to spend their last days in the Tower. They want peace, which can come only with acquiescence.”
“It can never be.”
“So think I. The people will not have it.”
“What then?”
“My lady, it will not be for you to choose… but for the people to do that when the time comes.”
“They will seek to destroy me before that.”
“I think we should make plans to get as far from London as possible “But they will proclaim Jane!”
“The people will not have her.”
“She stands for the Protestants.”
“There are many who want to return to the old way of worshipping. Everything will depend on that.”
“Northumberland is determined. He has gone so far he cannot now turn back. It may be that his ambitions will destroy him.”
“We must see that they do before he destroys you.”
I was very sad that my brother could be led so far from his duty as to proclaim Jane heiress to the throne. She was little more than a child but he knew she would uphold the faith which he so fanatically supported. And he was completely under the influence of Northumberland.
My poor little brother! I must not blame him. He was like a poor feeble old man who has never been young. I sometimes thought it would be a happier state to be born poor and humble than under the shadow of the crown.
I WAS AT HUNSDON awaiting news. I heard that rumors persisted in the streets of London and that people were put in the pillory for saying the King was dead.
If he were not dead, he was close to death.
I waited in fearful trepidation.
I was relieved when I heard that the Emperor was sending a new ambassador to England. This was Simon Renard, a man of high diplomatic reputation in whom he had great confidence. I was sure that the good and honest Scheyfve would not be competent to deal with events which seemed imminent. The Emperor would want a man to be a match for Antoine de Noailles, the French ambassador, who had recently arrived on the scene.
At last there came a communication from Northumberland. He thought it would be wise for me to come to Court; a similar summons was sent to my sister Elizabeth. I wondered what she would do. She was not in the acute danger which I was in, but nevertheless her position could be precarious.
I left Hunsdon with a small company and moved south, but at Hoddesdon I waited, uncertain how to act.
If my brother died, I should be on the spot. Yet, on the other hand, Northumberland would be there, and I could be in danger.
While I was wondering which way to turn, Susan came to me to tell me that a man had arrived; he had obviously ridden some way and was exhausted, but he made it clear that he must see me without delay.
I had him brought to me, and I recognized him as a London goldsmith who had done some work for me on one or two occasions.
He knelt to me.
“My lady,” he said, “the King is dead, although it is not yet known. I came with all speed to tell you this.”
“Someone sent you?” I asked.
“Sir Nicholas Throckmorton, my lady. He bade me tell you that, although the King is dead, the news will be kept secret for some days…and it would be inadvisable for you to come to Court.”
Sir Nicholas Throckmorton! I knew of him. He was a firm upholder of the Reformed Faith. He had been a close friend of my brother; and I remembered that at the time of Anne Askew's execution he had been one of those who were present when she died; he had gone to give her his support.
Why had he sent this man to warn me? He would not want me to be proclaimed Queen, for he would know that when I came to power my first act would be to return the Church to Rome.
If only it had been one of my old friends, a Catholic like Gardiner, I could have believed him. But Gardiner was a prisoner in the Tower. It would have been to his advantage to see me crowned Queen. But Throckmorton… Why did he warn me? It might be that he knew Northumberland was planning to kill me. There were some who would never connive at murder, even of those of a different faith.
I saw that the goldsmith was given refreshment, and I thanked him.
Whatever Throckmorton's motives, I knew I must not walk into Northumberland's trap. I sent a message to Scheyfve and to Simon Renard, to tell them that I was going to Kenninghall in Norfolk because sickness had broken out in my household. They would know that was a diplomatic excuse.
It might well be that the King was not yet dead and that this was some trap laid for me; but if it had been so, would they have sent the message from one who was known to me to be of the Reformed Faith? It was all very mysterious, but something within me told me that my brother was indeed dead.
I set out with a small party, choosing unfrequented roads for fear we should meet horsemen from London, as I could guess what orders they would have been given if Northumberland really intended to take my life. I would be close to the coast and then, if need be, I could take a ship to the Netherlands.
I very soon learned that I had done the right thing. Soon after I left Hunsdon, one of Northumberland's sons had arrived with 300 horses to escort me back to London. I should have been a prisoner, and that would have meant that my end was imminent.
From Kenninghall I wrote to the Council. I reminded them that my father had made me successor to my now deceased brother Edward and so I was the Queen of this realm. I knew they had worked against me, but by proclaiming me Queen without delay there should be an amnesty and I should bear no grudge against them for the malice I had in the past received at their hands.