On the advice of François van der Delft, I remained in obscurity— though I did not need him to tell me to do that. Of course, there would be those who rose in anger against the new ideas; and I was next in succession; it was well known that I was an ardent Catholic. True, I had accepted my father's supremacy in the Church, but that was to save my life, and in my heart I had never agreed with it. Those who deplored the way the country was going would look to me.
It was an alarming time. It is always a dangerous situation when the king of a country is a minor, but when there is religious conflict—and one of such magnitude—the times are indeed perilous.
There was, of course, the Emperor. But for his powerful presence I should have been dispatched long ago. I was his cousin, so there was the family tie; and, more important, I was next in succession and I should be the upholder of the Catholic Faith. In England, good Catholics must be hoping that Edward would not long survive; they would certainly pray that he would never marry and have offspring, for then it would be my turn, and this period of aberration, this straying from the fold, would be over. Triumphantly, I would bring England back to that fold, which she should never have left.
So I remained away from Court, and it was conveyed to me discreetly that there would be no interference for the time being in the manner in which religious observances were carried out in my household.
So, in the seclusion of my manors, I lived quietly, seeing François van der Delft whenever possible and learning all I could about what was going on in the country.
I often thought of Katharine and wondered what she was feeling. She would have her child, and I believed that would give her great comfort. Poor, sad lady! Indeed, I might apply this to myself. Life was harsh to some of us.
I thought a great deal about Elizabeth and wondered how she liked being sent away in disgrace. She would make excuses for herself—she would be like our father in that. How deep had her feeling for Seymour been? What a situation! As a princess second in line for the throne, she was old enough to realize that her cavortings with Seymour might have had results.
Anne Stanhope, Duchess of Somerset, gave birth to a boy. I hoped Katharine would be lucky. But when had she ever been lucky? I could imagine her…brought to bed… longing for her child, and all the time nursing her resentment against her husband. I hoped Elizabeth felt some qualms of conscience. How could she have behaved so in her own stepmother's house! It was hard for me to understand… not so much that she should have a fancy for the man, but that she could so far forget her honor, her destiny. I was well aware that Elizabeth had her eyes on the crown. There was a certain sparkle which appeared in them every time it was mentioned. She was healthy; she was young; how could she have risked throwing it all away for a philanderer like Seymour? Perhaps she thought she could have both. She was greedy, my sister.
Katharine gave birth to a little girl. I wished her well. Seymour would have preferred a boy. Do not all men? But Katharine, I knew, would be content with the child, whatever its sex.
Then came the sad news. Katharine had fallen into a fever soon after the child was delivered. One of my women heard afterward from Lady Tyrwhit, who was attending her, what had happened.
“Poor soul,” Lady Tyrwhit had said. “She told me she knew she would not leave her bed. The Admiral was there. He seemed to be overcome with grief. He tried to comfort her but she turned away from him, and spoke not to him but to me. She said, ‘I am most unhappy, Lady Tyrwhit. Those I love have cared not for me. They mock me. They laugh at my love. They wait for my death so that they may be with others.' It was pathetic to hear the poor lady. The Admiral tried to soothe her but she would not listen. He said he would never harm her, and she answered that she thought he did not speak the truth. He begged her to remember that they loved each other and how they had wanted to be together more than anything else. She said to him coldly… oh, so coldly, ‘You have given me some shrewd taunts.' Then she turned to me and said, ‘I do not think I shall live. I do not want to live.' He wanted to lie beside her on the bed and hold her hand and tell her he loved her, to beg her to live, but she turned from him, and I told him he must go for he disturbed her rest.”
Lady Tyrwhit had wept when she told this, and when I heard it I myself felt near to tears. Very soon after that Katharine Parr passed away—such a good woman, who had never done harm to any. Life had been cruel to her.
There was change all about us, and no one knew from one day to another what would come next.
THOMAS SEYMOUR WAS one of the most reckless men I ever heard of. It was certain that he must sooner or later come to disaster. He should never have risen to such a high place—nor would he but for the charms of his sister. He lacked the good sense of his brother Edward. His were the handsome looks, the dashing personality, the ability to attract people to him; but without good sense such attributes can be dangerous.
They certainly were in his case. He had sought to charm the King and become his favorite uncle, and this he had done. That was when Edward was a child, but having had kingship thrust upon him, he had now come to a certain maturity. Frail he might be, but he was learned beyond his years; he had the pride—and, yes, the arrogance of a Tudor; although attracted by good looks he was not entirely bemused by them.
After the death of Katharine, Seymour appeared to have his feet firmly set on the slippery path to disaster.
He should have been content with his spectacular rise. His brother Edward had become the Protector of the Realm and was therefore the most important man in the country; and he himself had received great honors. But, as I said, the man was a fool and like most fools he estimated himself too highly.
He had begun his reckless acts by his marriage before the King was cold. It had been said that, if the marriage had been productive from the start, there might possibly have been a doubt as to the paternity of the child, and that could have been a very grave matter. However, that did not arise. But Seymour was a man who made wild plans and acted on them before he had had time to consider them. He had resented his brother's supremacy and had tried to win Edward's affection for himself alone. All his misdemeanors were revealed after he had gone too far and was under restraint.
Before the death of my father, Thomas Seymour had been a constant visitor to Edward's apartments; he had supplied the boy with pocket money and treated him with mingling respect and affection in a manner which had won the boy's affection and rendered Thomas the favorite uncle. When Edward was King and Somerset Protector, Thomas had talked slightingly of his brother and had tried to persuade the young King to take the government into his own hands. He, Thomas, would be beside him to help in the task. Edward listened, but he was not the simple boy Thomas evidently believed him to be.
Thomas had thought it would be a good idea if Edward married Lady Jane Grey, who was being brought up in his household. Naturally it occurred to him that, with two such children, whose affection he had won, the government of the country would be in his hands.
As soon as his wife was dead, he renewed his courtship of Elizabeth. Thomas Seymour's greatest weakness was in underestimating the intelligence of others.
How I wished I could have talked with my sister at this time. How I should have loved to know what was in her devious mind! Marry Seymour? No. That was not for Elizabeth. She had flirted with him in her stepmother's house because she was attracted by the man—most women were, and Elizabeth was not immune from masculine charm—but that had been a game to her. The practiced seducer had not understood that he was not in command of the situation.
My sister Elizabeth was one who learned her lessons, and learned them well. She had no intention of making the same mistake twice.