“Saved lives.”
“Sure. I’d do it again.” Hayden studied her hands. “But only nine more times. After that, I’m struggling.”
They smiled. The fire crackled, black smoke billowing straight up at the skies. Alicia basked in its warmth after being exposed to the elements for so many days. It was a good way to end and celebrate their victory, so good she could almost drift away to sleep.
Guard down. Content. Feeling fortunate. Who was she?
She squeezed Drake’s hand and then saw Mai across the circle, still studying the center and looking a little lost. Alicia was about to rise when Kenzie beat her to it. The swordswoman pushed herself quickly to her feet, so fast Dahl almost scrambled up with her, sensing trouble.
But Kenzie held out a hand, smoothed her hair and took a deep breath. “Since I’ve never felt more accepted,” she said quietly; and hearing the words made Alicia even sadder, “I wanted to share something with you.”
They quieted around the circle, looking up at the woman. Kenzie gave everyone a personal, surprisingly shy look before opening her mouth once again.
“I too am a part of Tyler Webb’s statement. It is shameful, but it is a part of me and I… I want to come clean right now.”
Alicia held Drake’s hand all the tighter, felt him tense up. Nobody spoke, and the entire team concentrated on Kenzie, letting her find the right words.
“Most nights,” she said. “I… I cry myself to sleep. I do. It’s a fact. And I shudder to think that man invaded my privacy so deeply, so terribly, and would use the knowledge to humiliate me.”
“It’s okay,” Dahl reached up, touching her fingers. “We will never judge you.”
“I cry myself to sleep because I lost my family. Because powerful figures in my government let it happen. Because I could not avenge them.” Tears stood proud in her eyes now, and she sat down, crossed her legs, and smiled.
“There,” she said. “Now you know the worst of me.”
Drake and Dahl made comments that expressed Alicia’s own feelings — that if Kenzie thought such things were the worst of her, then she was welcome to watch their backs anytime. Alicia voiced it too, in her own way, and Kenzie thanked them all without words — just a grin.
“You all know that only leaves three,” Smyth spoke up gruffly. “From the original statement? One who is a lesbian, one who is dying and one who killed their parents in cold blood.”
Kinimaka shuffled around. “Way to go with the mood quencher, Lancelot.”
“Yeah,” Alicia said. “Bog off on some quest or other. Give us some peace.”
“He’s missing our Lauren,” Drake said. “Give him a break.”
Smyth regarded them all wearily. “Maybe she could meet us in Egypt.”
“Lancelot needs reinforcements,” Kenzie laughed. “Sound the horn.”
Alicia waited a moment and then caught Mai’s eye. With a jerk of her head she indicated that the two of them should leave the group. Quietly, she disengaged from Drake’s hand and smiled at the question in his eyes.
“Don’t worry.”
She met Mai close to the fire. In the burning heart, surrounded by sparks, cinders and flares, they finally came eye to eye.
“You finished it. You didn’t know if you were coming back,” Alicia said equably. “You told him as much.”
Mai watched fire leap and flicker. “I guess I was surprised at how quick it all happened.”
“A man like Drake? You shouldn’t be. And you know we’ve loved each other since we were kids.”
“Kids?”
“Army kids. New to the regiment.”
“He loved you before he loved me,” Mai agreed. “And then you went dark. And then you changed. Looks like you came full circle, Taz.”
Alicia tensed, aware Mai’s body language had grown subtly dangerous. “If I hadn’t changed we’d be wrestling on the ground right now.”
Mai raised an eyebrow. “I doubt that.”
“Oh, c’mon, just ’cause you’re a bad-ass, scar-faced, doe-eyed ninja, doesn’t mean you’d beat me in a proper fight, Sprite.”
Mai stepped back. “So Pat Benatar me, bitch.”
“Take my best shot?”
“You got it.”
“Shit.” Alicia saw now, and in her heart always had seen, that this confrontation was going to come down to a fight. They were both warriors, both strong women, and both utterly determined. In truth, she’d always know what kind of a fight it would end up being too.
“First to hit the floor?”
Mai struck without warning, catching Alicia along the eyebrow, just a glancing blow but one that caused a jet of pain. Alicia danced away, keeping the fire at her back, making Mai look at the bright flames. The Japanese woman struck again, three times; blows which Alicia fended away. Her forearms burned with the impacts.
But it wouldn’t do just to take the punishment. Mai wanted and deserved a real fight. Nothing else was right. Alicia dove in, took a blow to the cheek, and delivered three of her own, the last making Mai stagger. The Japanese woman only spun though, catching Alicia with a spinning elbow and making her cry out. Alicia pulled away, and watched Mai rub her ribs.
“Had enough?”
“Barely awake.”
“Ohhh.”
They came together, both leaping at the same time and trading blows quicker than the eye. Alicia’s elbow strike turned into a punch, then a pivot of the hips that Mai swiveled around. Alicia was momentarily open, took a kick to the thigh that almost killed the muscle and a shot to the back of the neck that sent her to her knees.
Mai pressed the advantage, coming down hard. Firm strikes and punches came at Alicia’s face, two out of three blocked but the last bringing up an immediate bruise. Alicia twisted, struggled to stand, but Ma’s onslaught was unstoppable. For every blow she blocked, another sneaked through, but still Alicia refused to go down. Her mouth bled, her nose bled. Her body ached.
Mai backed off, looked down at the Englishwoman, raised her hands, and started another attack, showing no mercy.
Alicia swiveled. Punched hard straight into the oncoming stomach. Mai doubled over and fell to her knees alongside Alicia, the two grappling, elbows, shoulders, arms and hands.
In the end, Mai held Alicia’s head in both her hands. A hard twist and her opponent would have no choice but to fold down to the ground. Either that or her neck would break. Mai stared hard into Alicia’s eyes, grip unbreakable. Alicia held it together, panting, gasping, staring back with nothing but compassion in her eyes.
“I won’t go down willingly,” she breathed. “Never. Do your worst.”
Mai mercilessly wrenched her neck to the side.
CHAPTER FORTY EIGHT
Even before Mai completed the killing move, Alicia had known she would do it. Had she fought well? Had she fought as hard as she could? The doubt was there. The doubt that, against comrades, she could never fight without concern ever again.
Mai pulled her down, and let go at the crucial instant. Alicia collapsed to the ground, now weary of it, staring up at the Japanese ninja who knelt above her.
“I’m done,” she said. “Are you?”
Mai grudgingly held out a hand. “I can’t promise to be perfect,” she said. “But I’ll always be there to watch your back.”
“Same goes to you.”
“And Alicia…”
Time stopped. “Yeah?”
“If you ever let him go I’ll be right there, picking up the pieces,” Mai whispered. “You know that don’t you?”
“Oh yeah, I’m perfectly aware.”
“Great.”
Mai helped her up and dusted her down. Alicia tried to pick a few branches out of Mai’s hair but it didn’t feel right. An awkward moment passed and, pretty soon, the women parted and returned to the group.