Выбрать главу

But fair, though, because the Third, Symphony is just not like anything that had preceded it. If you hear a Haydn symphony in concert, it's… orderly, it's… in place. If you hear a Mozart symphony even, it's still order. Genius, often, without doubt, but still order. Then you get something like Beethoven's Eroica - the 'heroic' symphony. It's… well, it's just not on the same playing field. Beethoven was really raising the symphony game with this one. It's EPIC, it's AMAZING. fi For some reason, viola players in the classical world are akin to drummers in the jazz world, i.e. the butt of jokes. Personally, of course, I don't subscribe to such jokes. Such jokes as: What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline? Answer:??? take your shoes off to jump up and down on a trampoline. Or: What do you call a guy who hangs round with musicians? Answer: A drummer. Terrible jokes. It's the Star Trek of symphonies - it boldly goes where no man had gone before. The 'hero' of the tide was the man of the moment, too, Napoleon, who was a bit of an idol for Ludwig. Sad to say, it wasn't to last. When, just one year later, Napoleon crowned himself Emperor in Paris, Beethoven ran to his bottom drawer, took the Eroica manuscript from underneath his hairbrush, and scratched out the name 'Bonaparte', dedicating it, instead, to 'the memory of a. great man'. Strong stuff!

Also composing some great stuff around this time was Beethoven's friend - and, I think, a possible contender in the Mildly Amusing Middle Name stakes - Johann Nepomuk Hummel. In his day, Hummel was considered certainly the equal of Beethoven as a piano player, and some even said as a composer too. Now, though, he's remembered for a mere handful of works and, in particular, his Trumpet Concerto. It's a bit of a partner to Haydn's in the trumpet repertoire, with an equally impressive third movement, comparable in difficulty to its predecessor - often considered a blood relation of Haydn. And with good reason, because Hummel's, too, was written for Weidlinger, the guy who invented the new trumpet. The one from Haydn's band. You see, when Haydn got a bit too frail, not able to handle the full job at Eisenstadt, the very cute powers-that-be gave him his pension of 2,300 florins plus all his medical bills, and allowed him to stay on as 'general music bigwig - allowed to potter around, read the papers, no questions asked'. And who took over from him as Kapellmeister? Correct. JN Hummel. Well, isn't it a small world?

In the 'Where are they now?' stakes, it seems to be merely a matter of fate that, despite being extremely popular and indeed influential during his lifetime, die moment he died, his music simply fell out of fashion. Of course, I have a personal theory, which I am willing to share. You see, Gluck… largely out of fashion, isn't he? Hmm? And Dittersdorf? Also, more or less totally forgotten. And now Hummel. Revered by Mendelssohn, Schumann and Liszt in his day, but now the dodo of classical music. And why? Well, my theory… mildly amusing middle names. Karl Ditters von Dittersdorf Christoph Willibald von Gluck Johann Nepomuk Hummel Need I say more? QED, as the French call the famous cruise ship.

If Haydn were to stroll into the Esterhazy Palace to read the papers in 1806 - and he was still there - then there'd have been plenty to catch tip on. The Battle of Trafalgar has been and gone, last year, with Nelson doing the most famous snog in history - or not. Napoleon is now, wait for it: i) First Consul ii) Emperor iii) King of Milan iv) President of the Italian Republic v) Milk Monitor©, and vi) Captain of die Netball team© More or less everything, in fact. Pitt the Younger is now going by the somewhat less jolly nickname of Pitt the Dead. What else? Well, Prussia has declared war on France - yeah yeah yeah, talk to the Handel, the Facade ain't listening. Moving on, Turner has turned up another goodie, The Shipwreck. Think of the impact that a picture like that must have had in that day and age. It wouldn't be just a great picture, it would be a huge shiver down the spine - remember, the sea is a big, relevant image for people. Nelson's victory and death were still big news, press gangs are still all the rage, plus the fact that die sea was less tamed then than it is now, and you've got a bit of shocking image in Turner's Shipwreck.

And musically? What about mat? Does the music of the time match images like Turner's Shipwreck}

Well, if you're talking Beethoven, then the answer's a big, steaming lump of 'yes'. He's already produced his first draft of his one and only opera, Fidelio, with its themes of brotherhood, comradeship and freedom. And 'one and only' - that's important. You see, he doesn't waste paper, our Beethoven, oh no. Haydn wrote 104 symphonies, Mozart forty-one, but Beethoven? Only nine. But they were, no disrespect to the other two, truly greater works - a magnificent nine - and, in that respect, the numbers speak volumes. Much less frivolous than Haydn's, more demanding, more revolutionary than Mozart's, and, generally, on another level completely. And, then, in 1806, he comes up with his one and. only violin concerto. It's less 'in your face' than some of his other stuff, with a delirious second movement that is truly ages away from Haydn and Mozart. It's said that, at its first performance, the original fiddler, a man called Clement, was left to sight-read the whole thing, having had no rehearsal, but somehow managed to pull it off. And thank goodness he did: had he completely buggered it up and, in so doing, consigned the work to an eternity of obscurity, then I, for one, would never have forgiven our friend Clement. I don't think I could bear to be without the Beethoven Violin Concerto. But, anyway, he didn't. He got through it, everyone applauded, probably politely, he left the concert hall, shut the door and, before you knew it - VOOOMH - it was 1808.

VAN THE MAN

I

m going to take this opportunity to spend some time going into a little more detail on the next nine years. Just as I did at the last truly intriguing time in music history - the final four years of Mozart - so, now, I'm going to spend a while in the company of Van the Man.

So. 1808. Two years since the Violin Concerto, and Beethoven is on a roll. In the last two years, he's come up with Fidelio, the 'Razumovsky' string quartets, and Symphony No 4. Around him, the world is, as ever, changing. Napoleon, having taken Barcelona and Madrid, abolishes the Spanish Inquisition. Bet they weren't expecting that! Then, for good measure, he abolishes the Italian one, too/ In other disciplines, Kaspar David Friedrich exhibits his painting The Cross of the Mountains, Walter Scott publishes Marmion, and Goethe comes up with a bit of a blockbuster. I think it's fair to say this one will run and run, in oh so many versions: Faust, part 1.

Beethoven himself is still as unlucky in life as he is in love. His 'immortal beloved' is from this period too. 'She' is a mystery woman, never to be categorically identified. Some say it was Giuletta Guicciardi, an Italian countess, who is said to have returned his affections before her father forbade the marriage. It was to her that he dedicated the 'Moonlight' Sonata. Some say it was her cousin, Therese t What Italian one? Why didn't I know about this? Was it a brand extension, franchise operation, what? Malfatti, the inspiration for the Appassionato.. Some even say it was Booboo, the soft toy for whom he wrote the 'Flurble Symphony for Kazoos'©, although these people like to have someone to sit with them and have been largely discredited. And, finally, some say it's a general letter to 'all women'. Personally, I think this is daft. I mean, if it's an open letter to all women, why not have small A5 flyers printed and left in places where women would see them, like make-up counters or handbag shops? See? It only takes a few moments of common sense to discredit a perfectly foolish theory.

Having said all that, picture Gary Oldman as Beethoven, if you can, from the film Immortal Beloved. Strange-looking, bad-tempered, plagued by increasing deafness… and yet capable of stopping a concert audience dead in their tracks. Think how amazing and how violent, almost, the Symphony No 5 must have been when Beethoven let it loose on an unsuspecting public. Up until now, the most amazing thing in the world of symphonies has been Mozart or Haydn. They're both fab, don't get me wrong, but still, nothing in their entire symphonic oeuvre could possibly have prepared anyone for