My heart began to race. How far did he dig?
“What else did you find?”
Ben started fidgeting, which was very unlike him. “I didn’t find anything on her, but her parents are very prominent in their community, if you didn’t know that.”
“Go on.”
“I went back to the only lead I had, which was school. After acquiring her transcripts that included her attendance history, I saw she was the ideal student, never missed a day until early in her junior year when she missed two weeks due to an illness. That’s as far as I got. As you know, HIPAA laws would come into play, so I don’t know why she was sick for so long.”
He looked down at the Formica table before looking back at me. In a low voice he asked, “She wasn’t abused, was she?”
“No, not in that way. Ben, I’m not comfortable saying anything else. But now you know that Lucy went to great lengths to get away from her past and start fresh. I care very deeply for her, and I’m not sure if I’ll seek reelection.” His mouth opened, and I held up a hand. “I know this will affect you as well, and that’s why I’m being honest with you. I have two choices—I can either drop out and keep her out of the spotlight so no one will recognize her, or I can let her go.”
Ben remained silent, frowning at me.
“I’m sorry, Ben. I don’t know if I can lose her.”
He nodded. “I understand. Please don’t factor me in. I can find work elsewhere. Granted, I made you feel like shit when you first started dating her, but I can see how torn you are. Look, you’re my friend first and my boss second. You tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it.”
It was a huge relief to have Ben on my side. He could be a real son of a bitch at times, but he was loyal. And that was exactly the kind of person I needed in my camp.
“Thank you. Right now, let’s stay on course. I do need you to handle things for me for a few days. I have some things I need to take care of.”
“Whatever you need.”
With that, I stood with the yearbook under my arm and shook his hand. “Thank you.”
After I went home and showered and changed clothes, I saw I had a missed call. My buddy from the VA had apparently come through for me. After I listened to his message, I packed a bag and headed to Reagan International.
CHAPTER 17
~ Lucy ~
I couldn’t determine which hurt more, my head or my heart. If I had to guess, I’d say my heart, but my head had been pounding for days.
It had been a little more than two weeks since I last spoke with Drake. Two weeks since I told him I loved him, albeit in a letter, but the words were still there.
Mason had tried to help me cope with everything from having to dredge up my past to possibly getting over Drake if I wanted. Of course I didn’t want to get over Drake; that much I knew. Having him in my life, even for such a short time, made me feel complete. Now I had a void that I didn’t want to be filled. Not unless Drake was the one to fill it.
“Luce, why don’t you reach out to him?” Mason called out from my living room.
Today was the last day of school. Hallelujah! After the last bell rang, he and I headed for my place so I could change clothes. The end of the school year was definitely time to go out and celebrate, no matter how horrible I felt about the rest of my life.
“Because I told him I’d give him time,” I shouted back from my bedroom as I buttoned my jeans and leaned toward the mirror to fluff my hair. “It’s been so hard; you know that. But what am I supposed to do? He must still need space, because he hasn’t reached out to me either.”
“He was out of town.” Mason’s voice was soft, but I heard him loud and clear.
“What? Where? How do you know?” I ran into the living room as panic set in.
Drake left town? What about the primary?
“Gretchen told me.” Mason raised his hands, palms up. “Before you yell at me, I ran into her at a bar near the Metro the other night. She was waiting for her boyfriend—who never showed up, by the way—so we had a couple drinks together. That’s when she told me Drake had to go away for a bit.”
“Does she know?” The thought of Drake’s entire family knowing my story saddened me. They were such wonderful people.
“I don’t think so,” he said as he shook his head, and then he turned pleading eyes on me. “I’ve been thinking about all of this, Lucy. Is it really that big of a deal?”
Frustrated, I threw my hands up in the air. “You don’t think it’s a big deal that my past could destroy the future of the man I love?”
“No, I’m sorry but I don’t.” Mason ran a hand through his hair. “This has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you.” When I glared at him, he said, “Don’t look at me that way. I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was, well, Gretchen told me Drake will do anything to protect you.”
“I’d do the same,” I said sadly. “That’s why I think I need to end this so he can go on and do great things.” Just saying that tore my insides to shreds, but I knew it was true.
“What happened to you was unfair and borderline criminal, in my mind. When I think about how alone you must have felt all those years ago, it infuriates me. The thing is, it was years ago. You were a kid, and no one can hold you accountable for that.” His face tightened as he added, “Your parents are a different story.”
“I just feel so guilty,” I said, blinking back tears. “Do you realize how many lives I’ve affected? My boyfriend didn’t even have a say in the matter, but he probably would have chosen prison. Now he’s gone, and his family doesn’t even have a grandchild to remind them of him, because of the choice I made. In hindsight, I should have run away, but I was so terrified at the time, I just stayed.”
Then it dawned on me—I did run away. I just ran too late.
Sighing, I said, “Maybe the best thing to do is to let him go forever.”
“You’re wrong, Luce. But whatever you decide to do, you’ll always have me.”
“Thank you, but you need to live your own life.”
Mason was a great guy; he deserved all the good things life had to offer. Babysitting me for the rest of his life wasn’t what I wanted for him.
“Well,” he said warily, “I do have something to tell you. I wasn’t going to, but I need your advice.”
“Thank God, because I’m tired of talking about myself.” I wiped my tears away and straightened my spine. I needed to be there for him just as he’d always been there for me.
Mason smiled. “I’ve been offered an assistant coaching position at a Division One college.”
I squealed and clapped my hands. “Oh my God, Mason! Congratulations!”
His face lit up. “If I take it, I’ll be leaving in July, so we’ll have to postpone our camping trip because I’ll be moving.”
My elation was short-lived. “You’re moving?”
“It’s UCLA, Luce. I’ll be moving to California.”
Sadness swamped me, but I forced it back. There was no way in hell I’d make him feel bad about this. How could I when deep down, I was so happy for him.
“I’ll miss you.”
His head bobbed slowly in acknowledgment. “I’ll miss you too. But we can Skype, and I want you to come out to visit me once I get settled.”
“I will. I promise.” A thought struck me, and I smirked. “I can’t believe you’re leaving me with those bitchy women at school.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, sorry about that. Can’t say I’ll miss them. But I have a feeling you’ll be just fine. Follow your heart, and it will lead you exactly where you need to be.”