"That Jeffrey and Robert raped her in the woods."
Sara bit her bottom lip. Nell had said the words matter-of-factly, but they still had power. The word "rape" in and of itself was the most obscene sort of profanity.
"She was a slut," Nell said. "Not that that's any excuse. Hell, my sister Marinell was a bigger slut, but she knew better than to brag about it."
"Tell me everything," Sara said. "Jeffrey won't."
Nell shrugged. "She did things with boys. I don't know, it sounds like no big deal today, but back then, you just didn't put out." She amended, "Well, you did it, but you sure as shit didn't let everybody know about it."
"I remember," Sara said. Fear had kept her from giving in to Steve Mann, and shame had kept her from really enjoying it when she finally did.
"Julia wasn't pretty," Nell said. "She wasn't plain, either, but there's a quality girls like that have that makes them ugly. I guess it's some sort of desperation, where they grab onto anybody they think can make them feel better about themselves." She stared at the pictures of her family that lined the wall. "I look at Jen and it just makes me cringe sometimes because I see this need in her. She's not even a teenager yet and she's got this unquenchable thirst for approval."
"Most girls are like that."
"Are they?"
"Yes," Sara said. "Some are better at hiding it."
"I try to tell her she's pretty. Possum's just crazy about her. Went to the father-daughter dance with her at the end of school last year. My God, but that man can carry off a baby-blue tux like nobody you've ever seen."
Sara laughed, imagining Possum in the tuxedo.
"She's doing sports now," Nell said. "Basketball, softball. It's making a difference."
Sara nodded. Girls who participated in sports had more self-confidence; it was a proven fact. She said, "I look back and thank God I had my mother." Sara laughed at herself. "Not that I ever believed a word she said, but she was always telling me I could do anything I wanted to do."
"Obviously, part of you was listening," Nell pointed out. "You don't get to be a doctor just because you're pretty."
Sara felt a tinge of a blush at the compliment.
"Anyway," Nell said, folding and unfolding the tissue. "Julia was kind of loose. She didn't make a secret of it, either. She thought it meant something that the boys would go with her, like they thought she was special or they loved her. Like blowing them behind the gym after school made her some kind of special. She actually bragged about it."
"Did she ever go with Jeffrey?"
"The truth?" Nell asked.
Sara could only nod.
"The truth is, I can't tell you. I don't see why he would. I was giving it to him pretty regular then." She laughed at herself. "You never know with boys that age, though. A sixteen-year-old boy is gonna pass up on getting laid? Hell, most grown men wouldn't pass that up. Sex is sex, and they'll do just about anything to get it."
"Did you ever ask him about what happened?"
"I didn't have the guts," Nell said. "I wouldn't have a problem now, but you know how it is when you're young. You're scared to say something that might piss him off and make him leave you for the next hot thing."
"Who was the next hot thing?"
"Jessie, I thought, but in retrospect I know that he never would have done that to Robert." Nell tucked her feet under her legs. "I don't think he did, if you want my gut reaction. Even then, Jeffrey had this thing about him, this sort of guide that let him know the difference between right and wrong."
"I thought he was in trouble all the time."
"Oh, he was," Nell said. "But he knew he was wrong. That's what I kept after him about. He just knew better than to do the crap he did. He had to get to that point where he made the decision to listen to his gut." She added, "Your gut's a lot smarter than you think."
Sara thought of her conversation with her mother yesterday. "My gut tells me to trust him."
"Mine, too," Nell said. "I remember when Julia came to school the next day after she said she was raped. It was horrible. She told anybody who would listen. The details just filtered through so that by lunchtime we were all thinking she was bruised and battered." She paused. "Then I saw her in the hall, and she didn't look that upset to me. She seemed to be enjoying the attention." Nell gave another shrug. "The thing was, she lied all the time. Lied for attention, lied for pity. No one believed her. She probably didn't even believe herself."
"What did she say exactly?"
"That Robert took her to the cave, gave her some beer, loosened her up."
"Where does Jeffrey come in?"
"Later," Nell answered. "The story took on a life of its own, just like these things always do. He swore up and down he was with Robert when it happened, and she said sweet as you please that, by the way, Jeffrey was there, too. Said they both took turns on her."
"She changed her story?"
"From what I heard, but gossip goes both ways. She could have been saying they were both involved from the beginning and I just heard it wrong. It was a mess. By the end of the day there were rumors she'd been gang-raped by a group of boys from Comer. Some of the football team was talking about going after them. People just go crazy with that kind of thing."
"Were the police -" Sara stopped. "Hoss."
"Oh, yeah. Hoss was called. Some teacher at the school overheard Julia crying about it and they called in Hoss."
"What did he do?"
"He interviewed her, I guess. God knows he knew where she lived. Right before her father died, Hoss was there every weekend breaking up a fight between him and Lane."
"Did he interview Jeffrey and Robert?"
"Probably," Nell said, not sounding certain. "Julia backed off the story real quick after Hoss was called in. Stopped talking about it at school, stopped acting like the injured party. People tried to get her to say something – not because they were concerned but because it was a good scandal – but she wouldn't talk. Wouldn't say a thing. She was gone a month or so later."
"Gone where?"
"To have that baby, I'd guess," Nell said. "Fat as Lane is, no one made a connection when she told everybody she was pregnant again. Her husband had just died and we all felt sorry for her." Nell paused.
"Now, there was a blessing, that old man dying. He was a terror, worse than Lane ever thought to be. Worse than Jeffrey's dad, I'd say. Just a mean, nasty piece of work."
"How many children did she have?"
"Last count, six."
"Is the one I saw today – Sonny – her youngest one?"
"He's a cousin. I don't know why she took him on. Probably for the extra money the state gives her."
"That's unbelievable," Sara said, wondering how anyone could allow that woman to raise a child, let alone two.
"Julia came back nine or ten months later and there was Eric, her new brother."
"No one said anything about the timing?"
"What were they going to say?" Nell asked. "And then a few more weeks later, she was gone again. It was just easier to say that Lane was the mother and Julia had run off somewhere. Dan Phillips, one of the boys who'd been on the football team, ran off around that time. There were all kinds of rumors, but they died off pretty quick. It made it easier for everybody, I guess."
Nell sat up on the couch and took a photo album out from under the coffee table. She thumbed through some of the pages until she found what she was looking for. "That's her, there in back."
Sara saw a photograph of Possum, Robert, and Jeffrey standing in the bleachers of a football stadium. They were all wearing their letterman jackets with their last names stitched on the front above their football jersey numbers. Jeffrey had his arm around Nell, and she leaned into him like a love-struck young girl. Inexplicably, Sara felt a stab of jealousy.
"Bastard never would give me his jacket," Nell said, and Sara laughed, but felt secretly relieved for some reason. In high school, wearing a boy's letterman jacket was right up there with wearing his class ring. It was not so much a symbol of the boy's love, but a way for the girl to make the rest of her friends jealous.