“He called to tell me she was out of time. She was being given last rites. I-I just had to go. We had so much left unsaid between us; she blamed me for what happened to Harper, and I was so angry. Angry enough to ignore her all this time. But when it came down to it, I couldn’t let her go without my forgiveness. I needed to see her one last time. So I left. I spoke to Mr. Stephenson, came home to call a taxi, and I was gone. I must have dropped my phone when I changed from my work clothes. I couldn’t think straight. All I could think about was getting there in time.”
My hands feather along his jaw; I’m hoping to soothe him. My heart hurts for this man who gives so selflessly and hurts so deeply. He’s carried around the guilt from Harper’s crash for years, and now he’s losing another member of that family. Even if Carol was angry with him, that loss must cut deep.
“I’m here for you,” I tell him, because what else is there? ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t enough, and I don’t want to speak words that are spoken so automatically. At least when I tell him I’m here, I can show him with my actions, too.
“Thank you.” He kisses my jaw. “I’m sorry I worried you. At the time I didn’t think, but now I can see how stupid I was to leave like that. I don’t know if there could have been worse circumstances.”
“It’s okay,” I reply, resting my cheek on his chest. “Just don’t do it again.”
I can feel his smile against the top of my head. “I won’t.”
I’m overcome with a wave of exhaustion, a tiredness all the way to my bones. These past two days have knocked me out. Lying here on Jacoby’s warm chest, with his strong fingers sifting through my hair, I can finally relax. The pounding of his heart is a steady rhythm of comfort beneath my ear. He’s home. He’s safe. We’re together. I’m awash with contentment, and I let my eyelids drift closed.
“What do you mean there was an incident?”
“Keep your voice down. She’s asleep.”
“Tell me what happened, then.”
“I don’t think you get the state she was in when you left. She thought you abandoned her. Got word that fucker ratted you out and took off without her. She was hurting, man.”
“So what does that mean? What are you trying to tell me?”
The voices drift up around me, but I can’t make sense of who’s talking. The words paint pictures within my mind, and I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or remembering.
There’s a sigh. “I’m telling you she had a moment. She got a knife, and I wasn’t quick enough. Just one cut, but that shit was scary as fuck.”
“Which one?”
“Which what?”
“Which wrist?”
“Left.”
The pillow I’m lying on is hard, and I shift slightly to get more comfortable. Trey and Jacoby keep talking around me, but I’m too tired to open my eyes. I just want to sleep.
“Fuck.” That was Jacoby, his voice a low hiss.
“I’m sorry, man. Is she getting any help?”
There’s a silence, and I drift further away into a dreamless sleep.
The sensation of movement pulls me from my slumber. I’m jostled slightly, but Jacoby’s strong arms and chest cradle me as he carries me through the house.
“What’s going on?” I ask, groggily.
“Shh. I’m just carrying you to bed.”
“Okay,” I mumble, snuggling deeper into his warmth.
Jacoby pulls back the covers and gently places me in bed. I keep my eyes closed, but I can hear him moving about the room. A door opening, a rustle of fabric, light footsteps on the carpet. Then he’s back, and he’s slowly working off my jeans and shirt. I’d help, but I’m so sleepy. I let him take care of me, even though I should be taking care of him. He shimmies a pair of sweats up my legs and pulls one of his shirts over my head until it swallows my torso. It’s soft and warm, and smells like him.
The bed shifts as he crawls in, and then he’s moving me into his arms again. I scoot closer until my head rests on his bare pectoral and his arm is wrapped around my body; his fingers running along my shoulder. Turning my face, I press a soft kiss to his chest.
“Sorry I woke you. I thought this would be more comfortable than the couch,” he says quietly.
“I’m comfortable anywhere as long as it’s with you.”
We lapse into silence, the only sound is our slow, deep breaths.
“Did Trey leave?” I ask, finding it difficult to fall back asleep now that I’m content in his arms again.
“Yeah. He had to get home. He only came over to make sure you were okay.”
“That was nice of him.”
“Mmhm. Do you want to talk, or do you want to go back to sleep?” Jacoby asks. But the way he’s asking makes me feel like he has something to say.
“I’m awake now. We can talk if you want.”
“I thought you should know, Trey told me what happened last night. I didn’t want you to worry about having to tell me. And I’m not upset with you, Sweetheart. I completely understand. I’m just so sorry I put you through that. It was my actions that led to yours.”
Now, I’m wide awake. I lift up onto my elbow so I can peer down into Jacoby’s handsome face. My hair creates a dark curtain around us that only adds to the privacy of the moment. I trace the crease of confusion in his brow with my index finger.
“Don’t you dare say that. Don’t take on unnecessary guilt because of my actions. I’m the one who couldn’t keep calm. I freaked out, and what I did is on me. Not you.”
“Tatum,” he groans. One of his large hands cups my cheek. “My beautiful girl. If I hadn’t left the way I did, you wouldn’t have worried. It is my fault.”
I silence him with a kiss on his lips. “No. I let what happened with Wyatt get to me. I thought the worst, and it brought so many emotions crashing down that I couldn’t deal. But it isn’t your fault. Please, don’t fight me on this, Jacoby. It’s not your fault.”
His deep brown eyes flick back and forth between my hazel ones, and I hold his stare. I’m begging him with my eyes to believe me and to let it go. We can’t change what happened, but that doesn’t mean we have to dwell on it.
Isn’t that what our relationship has been all about? Both of us had issues in our past we’ve been fighting to deal with. Jacoby ran away from his, while I tried to cut mine away. Literally. But something happened when we came together. Somehow, the two of us, with our messed up pasts, have helped the other heal. We found solace in one another that we were missing when we were alone.
“Speaking of Wyatt, did anything come about while I was gone?” Jacoby asks, pulling me from my thoughts. I don’t want to talk about Wyatt, but I get it over with so we can move on and leave it behind us.
We lie in the bed we’ve been sharing night after night, and I fill him in on everything that happened while he was gone. I retell what happened last night, even though Trey already filled him in. I want him to hear it from me. Then I describe what happened this afternoon. His face contorts with anger even though he tries to hide it, and I can tell he’s upset with himself for leaving me the way he did. I climb onto his strong body and clasp my limbs tightly around him. His hands slide down my ribcage to my waist, finally coming to rest on my ass.