Dead Man Joking
Known as a jokester, Chip, who died in October, age 86, gave friends a start when they received Christmas cards, 34 of them — written in Chip’s hand with a return address of “Heaven.”
The greeting read: “I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards. He said okay but don’t tarry.
“Wish I could tell you about things up here but words fail.
“Heck, I’ll be seeing you — some of you anyway.
“Wishing you a cool Yule. Chip.”
A friend for 35 years, Lois Hansen, said, “All I could think was, ‘Chip, you little stinker’.”
War Story
Compassionate cabbie transports coffins.
Finds a shot-to-death child in the street.
(Everyone knows everyone in the invaded city.)
Cabbie gathers the shredded body in his arms, fits him into one of the child coffins, straps the coffin onto the roof of the cab.
He drives to a blasted part of the city, stops at a partially burned-out tenement, locates the child’s parents’ name on a mailbox, shouts the name and someone shouts back.
When he returns to his cab to deliver the body he finds the coffin still strapped to the roof, but pried open, child-corpse snatched.
Osama
From his cunningly disguised hideout in the mountains of northwest Pakistan, Osama bin Laden will slip into Afghanistan to smoke primo opium. When he has a yen for curried cauliflower he sneaks into Delhi for lunch. He’s been seen basking in the sun in a houseboat in Kashmir. He’s been spotted in Iran where he evidently advises the mullahs. Possibly the most evocative rumor is his booking tickets for a Michael Jackson homage in LA after which he will sit ringside at the long-anticipated Pacquiao-Mayweather fight in Vegas.
So why can’t our White Hats nail this ghoul?
Obama
Barack Obama’s Nobel acceptance speech in Oslo is the speech with which we’ve become familiar: quasi-eloquent words to justify a piously nationalist catalog of illusions.
Barack Obama’s Nobel acceptance speech in Oslo is the speech with which we’ve become familiar: quasi-eloquent words to justify a piously nationalist catalog of illusions.
World Peace
The US has been voted the greatest threat to world peace in a Worldwide Independent Network / Gallup survey across 68 countries.
Citizens were asked: “Which country is the greatest threat to peace in the world today?”
The US topped the list with 24 percent of the vote. Pakistan came in second with 8 percent, followed by China with 6 percent. Iran, Afghanistan, Israel and North Korea tied for fourth place with 5 percent.
Unexpectedly, many Americans regard their country as a prospective threat with 13 percent voting the US most likely to disrupt the global status quo.
Sharkteeth
is the nom de guerre of the artist who, with allies, defaced (reconstituted) the controversial wall, 375 miles long, 7.5 feet high, crowned with razor wire, which, without mandate, the US Army Corps of Engineers, under government fiat, erected between the San Diego-Baja border, from California to
Arizona, the Air-Conditioned State, prepping to erect its own wall to prevent poor, brown illegals from entering the cultureless American-English-only promised land, where, possessing filthy genes, they work unlawfully long hours, stealing from true Americans coveted jobs in pesticide fields, toxic factories, as janitors and shit sweepers for prison inmate wages.
Niqab
An Egyptian court has ruled in favor of the government’s decision to ban female university students from wearing the face veil (niqab) while taking examinations.
The students’ attorney said the ban “supports rape and sexual harassment. It forces a woman to expose a part of her body she doesn’t want exposed.”
The government said it banned the niqab because students were attending exams disguised as other candidates.
“I will go to my exams anyway,” one female said, “and if they prevent me from entering, I swear by God, I will not forgive this. I will never remove my niqab. Never.”
Millions of Women
Could be on the streets in 2015.
Although women have made historic advances in nearly all areas of American public life in recent decades, a staggering number of single & divorced women across the US are teetering on financial disaster, a new report shows.
Co-authored by The Huffington Post & Amazon, the report takes a wide-angle snapshot of a national economic crisis through the eyes of women.
It paints a portrait of an estimated 48 million women — plus 28 million dependent children — saddled with financial hardship that rapidly, imperceptibly, could slip-slide into exponentially more “bag-ladies” on America’s mean streets.
Thigh Gap
Dr. Lola Lola is determined to push back against the thigh gap mania spreading across social media.
Thigh gap refers to the space between a female’s thighs directly below the vagina, often diamond shaped when the thighs are together. Though it would seem to go against the traditional image of female pulchritude, thigh gap is currently all the rage among American adolescent and teenage girls.
A Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and psychiatrist, Dr. Lola Lola is the author of Mean Girls are Teen Girls (Bliss Tree, $40) and works extensively with teenage girls on body image and self-esteem.
Housework
Cuts breast cancer risk.
Research on 230,000 women from 9 European countries found that household chores were far more cancer-protective than sport.
The women in the Switzerland-funded study spent 17 to 20 hours a week cooking, cleaning, washing and scrubbing the floor on their hands and knees.
Results proved very favorable.
Experts knew that exercise reduced the risk of breast cancer through hormonal and metabolic changes. But it was unclear how much and what types of exercise were optimal.
According to the study, housework alone significantly reduces the risk of both pre- and post-menopausal women getting the disease.
A Pair of Historic Sex Toys
thought to date back to the early 18th century were sold at an Essex auction for £3,600.