What other option do I have?
“How you feeling, Kenz?” Holly takes a seat next to me later that night when I stir from the most awkward nap of my life. We haven’t been home yet, deciding to sleep it out in the uncomfortable waiting chairs until we heard more on Kelly.
“Oh, God, what time is it?” I stretch, trying to relieve some tension in my back and neck.
“It’s after 2 a.m.”
“Have we heard anything yet?” I look around the waiting room. Nix is asleep four chairs down, Sy, Hunter and Beau are talking quietly across from me. Kelly’s parents are sitting two rows back with a sleeping Mia on their laps. Jesse and Bell are talking quietly between themselves, and Brooks is pacing the hallway. Waiting. Praying. Hoping.
“Not yet, but it can’t be much longer.”
“Where’s Kadence?” She was here before I nodded off, with both Low and Z.
“She took the kids home. It was getting too late. She’ll be back up in the morning.” I nod then glance back over at Brooks.
Seeing him like this, I can’t help but be mad at myself. I shouldn’t have left her. We should have left together, or called one of the guys to bring us something to eat.
Turning my head away from Brooks, I lock eyes with Beau. He stands to come to me after noticing I’m now awake.
“You okay?” He hands me a bottle of water and takes the spare seat next to me.
“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I take a sip of the water before handing it back to him. I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since this morning.
“Don’t be silly. Everyone is tired.” Holly rests her hand on my leg and gives it a gentle squeeze. Ever since I told her and Kadence what happened and why it happened, I’ve been worried they would pull back from me, maybe blame me for everyone being here. But they haven’t. If anything, they’ve rallied around me even more than before, offering comforting smiles, reassuring words and even their shoulders to cry on.
“It can’t be too much longer, right?” I look up just as a doctor appears, stopping in front of Brooks.
The room becomes a flurry of movement and questions as we all stand and step forward, all desperate for good news.
“—An induced coma to help with the swelling.” I miss the first part, but manage to catch up. “She’s stable, but still in critical condition. The next three days are going to be precarious.” The doctor is young, almost too young and I wonder how long he’s been doing this.
“A coma?” Brooks’ panicked voice spears me while I take it all in. “You said the surgery would be enough.”
“Yes, the surgery helped relieve some pressure, but we are concerned with the swelling. We need to control it. Our best chance for it to happen is to let her brain rest.”
Brooks’ hands run through his hair as he takes a step back. “So that’s it? We just wait?”
“I know it’s not what you were expecting, but the next few days will tell us more.”
“Can I see her? I need to see her.”
“Soon. She’s being moved to the ICU now. Someone will be down shortly to take you back.” He offers a comforting hand on Brooks’ shoulder before leaving us alone to process.
We all stay silent, letting Brooks take the lead.
Induced coma.
Swelling.
It doesn’t sound good. It sounds downright scary and judging by everyone’s faces, they all feel the same way.
“It’s gonna be okay, Brooks. Dr. Dawson is thorough. She’s in good hands.” Bell steps forward and wraps her arms around his neck. He accepts her embrace, holding her while his body shakes in sobs.
“I can’t lose her, Bell. I can’t.”
I almost come undone watching him.
Nix steps in next, wrapping his arm around his back and whispering low in his ear.
Wanting to give him privacy, I turn back and notice Kelly’s parents holding each other. Hunter now holds Mia, looking so much younger than I’ve ever noticed.
It all becomes so real. Our world is spinning out of control.
How are we going to survive if she doesn’t pull through? The thought weakens my knees, and before I meet the ground, Beau has me, holding me up.
“We need to take you home,” he tells me, moving toward a free chair and sitting me down.
“I can’t leave, Beau. We need to stay.”
“Beau’s right. We should get some rest. Brooks and Kelly are going to need all the help they can get.” Holly steps in and stops me from arguing. “We can’t be of any help with no sleep.”
I don’t want to leave, but I understand where they’re coming from.
“You guys head out. I’ll stay with Brooks until he goes back to the ICU. We can meet back in the mornin’.” Nix comes to stand near us, as Jesse and Bell move in to console Brooks.
“Are you sure?” Beau asks him.
“Yeah, you take her home.” He nods down to me.
“What about Mia?” I ask, looking back at her sleeping form. “We can take her.” I look up at Beau, hoping he agrees.
“We’ll take her back to the clubhouse,” Holly offers. “She’ll be better off waking up there.” Nix nods, deciding it’s the best decision for tonight.
“We’ll stay at the clubhouse, too.” Beau agrees. “You call us if you need anything, Nix.” Nix nods, and then claps Beau on the back, before turning and doing the same with Sy.
“Come on, darlin’.” Beau helps me up and holds me close as we say our goodbyes to everyone. Brooks accepts my hug, and our promise to take good care of Mia before leaning in and kissing her sweet little face.
“You ride with Holly. I don’t have a helmet with me,” Beau tells me as we follow Sy and Holly out of the hospital. “We’ll ride behind.”
I nod and take his kiss before planting my ass in the passenger side of Holly’s car.
After settling Mia into her seat, we set off, and before I can fight it, my eyes turn heavy, and I’m out again, the warmth of the car lulling me back to sleep.
“Darlin’,” Beau’s soft voice calls to me as he releases me from my belt. “You fell asleep,” he whispers as I come back to myself.
“It wasn’t a dream.” I start to cry. The day’s events finally catching up with me. “It’s still real, Beau.” I shake my head, fighting to escape the darkness.
“Come on, you need to sleep. You okay with Mia, Sy?” Beau asks, and I think I hear him reply, but I can’t be sure. Every second of the day, every action, and reaction washes over me as it all plays out in my mind over and over.
Kelly is in a coma. Beau has done something bad, and it’s all because of me.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened?” I ask Beau three nights later when we climb into bed at home. We just came back from the hospital; it’s been seventy-two hours since the doctors put Kelly in a medically induced coma. Every day we’ve woken up, had breakfast, dressed and headed over to see her. Every day we’ve prayed for her to heal and be okay, but as of today, she’s not ready to come out. As devastating as it is, the doctors assure us it’s for the best. Her brain function is good. Her vitals are strong, but the swelling is still a factor, they’re not prepared to bring her out of it yet.
“The less you know, the better, darlin’,” Beau tells me the same thing he’s told me the last three nights before he flicks off the lamp and curls into me with his front to my back.
“Beau, please don’t keep this from me. I can’t handle it. With everything else going on, I don’t need this between us.” I try to roll to face him, but his hold is too firm.
“He’s not going to give you more trouble,” is all he gives away while pulling me tighter against him.
“He’s dead, isn’t he?” He doesn’t answer me, the room growing eerily quiet. My hands move to his arm that’s holding me and I pry it off me. “Don’t you dare keep this from me.” I sit up and look down at him. “Please.” I’m just shy of pleading, but I don’t care. I need to know.
He lets out a frustrated sigh, before rolling back over, flicking on the lamp and coming to sit up with me. “If he’s not already, then he will be soon,” he says casually, like he’s just given me the time.