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"I've just got to ask you about this. I mean, who's your decorator? Joe Franklin?"

"What do you mean?"

"The furniture for one thing."

Jack turned and took in his Victorian wavy-grained golden oak furniture—the gingerbread-laden secretary, the hutch, the paw-footed round oak table, the crystal-ball-and-claw-footed end tables.

"What about it?"

"Looks like stuff people used when they were listening to Little Orphan Annie on the radio. And speaking of Annie, is that a Daddy Warbucks lamp?"

"It is. He was a cool guy."

Tom stepped over to the inner wall and stared at the array of clocks and framed certificates.

"You're living in Gew-gawville. And look at all this: The Shadow Fan Club, the Doc Savage fan club, and Jesus, a Shmoo clock!" He turned to Jack and laughed. "What are you? Ninety years old?"

Jack felt no obligation to explain.

Tom stepped back into the TV room where he dropped onto the mattress and lay on his side, his head propped against his hand. He pointed to the big screen.

"Nice set. Got any movies we can watch?"

Jack was too bushed to start searching for a hotel room now. But first thing tomorrow… first damn thing.

SUNDAY

1

After a restless night during which his bed seemed to be rocking with the swells of an unseen ocean, Jack got up and walked into the empty front room.

He stood there for a moment and tried to convince himself that last night had been a dream—that none of last week had happened.

Then he heard the snoring from the TV room and knew he wasn't going to be that lucky.

He looked in and saw Tom sprawled on his back like a beached whale. His right arm hung over the edge of the mattress, the fingers just brushing the top of the Lilitongue chest.

Jack had been on the phone for an hour. His first call had been to Joey who hadn't answered. Jack left a message and then got to work on the hotels. But no luck. Not one place he'd called—and he'd tried uptown and down—had a room. There had to be one somewhere in this damn city.

He needed a break. He went to the kitchen and spooned some Brown Gold into his Mr. Coffee and got a pot perking. The odor of coffee soon filled the apartment.

Jack was pouring his first cup when Tom appeared, rubbing his eyes.

"Christ, what time is it?"

Jack took one look at the wrinkled T-shirt stretched across a belly that overhung a pair of pee-stained Jockey shorts and pointed back to the TV room.

"Out, damn spot!"

Tom blinked. "What?"

"Get something on—at least on the lower half of that body."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No coffee for eyesores."

Tom stared at him a moment, then shook his head and retraced his steps to the TV room. He reemerged a moment later wearing a pair of plaid Bermudas.

"Happy now?"

"Happiness is relative. Less aesthetically offended is more like it."

Tom grabbed an empty cup, filled it, and took a long sip. No milk, no sugar.

He held up the cup. "Damn good coffee." He winked. "Give me a reference."

Jack did not want to reference that or anything else, didn't want to get started with games. But he couldn't resist.

"If you'd just toasted me with the cup and given a grin, I'd say Winston Wolf in Pulp Fiction. But the 'damn' means you're probably thinking of Agent Cooper in Twin Peaks."

"Excellent! I'm impressed. Now how about—?"

Jack was about to cut him off when the intercom buzzer beat him to it.

Baffled as to who'd be buzzing him at this hour on a Sunday—or at any hour on any day, for that matter—Jack stepped to the wall box and pressed the button.

"Yeah?"

"Hi, Jack." Gia's voice. "Buzz us in. We've got a surprise for you."

Jack was momentarily baffled. Gia had a key. Then he realized that because he had company she didn't want to barge in unannounced.

He said, "Urn, okay, sure," and hit the unlock button.

A surprise?

"Gia?" Tom looked panicked. "I've got to clean up!"

2

"Well?" Gia said, waving a hand over the laden round oak table. "What do you think?"

She wore jeans and a loose, light blue top that heightened the color of her eyes.

She and Vicky had brought bagels and cream cheese, two quiches—one bacon and shallots, the other zucchini and onion—plus a coffee ring, and even the Sunday Times.

Jack forced a smile. "Looks super, but you shouldn't have."

No lie. Gia's intentions were the best, but she really shouldn't have. This was only going to delay finding Tom a room. But then, Gia didn't know Jack was hunting a place for Tom to stay.

"I picked out the coffee cake," Vicky said. She wore denim coveralls and had her hair pulled back into her signature French braid. "It's got sugar-coated pecans on it."

She picked one off and popped it into her mouth.

"It won't have anything on it if you keep that up," Gia said.

Vicky grinned. "I love sugar-coated pecans."

Tom stepped out of the TV room just then, shaved, showered, wearing slacks and a loose shirt that partially obscured his gut. He crossed the room with outstretched arms. Add a silk dressing gown and he'd be ready for a full-fledged Noel Coward vamp.

"Gia!" he said, making a beeline for her. "What a wonderful surprise! Please excuse my appearance, but I've spent the last week at sea."

She accepted a hug, then said, "You remember Vicky."

"Of course." Tom shook her hand. "A pleasure to see you again, Miss Vicky."

"Hello, Mister—"

"Oh. Don't call me 'mister.' I suppose you could call me Almost-Uncle Tom, but I'm not crazy about the sound of that." He grinned and winked at Gia. "So why don't you just call me Tom."

Vicky stared at him as if he was speaking Swahili.

"Vicky and I figured you wouldn't have any food in the house."

Tom patted Vicky on the head. "Isn't that sweet!"

Vicky said, "I picked out the coffee cake, even though I'm not allowed to drink coffee."

Tom bent toward her and spoke in a gooey voice. "Isn't that wonderful of you!"

Jack repressed a gag.

Gia said, "I never got around to asking last night: How did Jack and Tom's Big Adventure go?"

Tom let loose a deep ha-ha-ha! "Are you a movie buff too?"

"Only by osmosis." She hooked an arm around Jack's waist and leaned against him. "Can't hang around with your brother too long without picking up something."

Tom said, "Well, speaking of something, that's just what we found. We're just not sure what that something is."

"Really?" Gia's brow furrowed as she glanced at Jack. "Animal, vegetable, or mineral?"

Tom laughed. "We don't know!"

"Can I see it?"

A buzz of alarm surged through Jack.

"That may not be such a good idea."

Gia looked at him. "Why not?"

What was he going to say? He had no rational explanation.

"Because of what Tom said: We don't know what it is."

"Oh, come on," Tom said with a patronizing laugh. "It's a basketball-sized lump that's been underwater for four hundred years. How harmful could it possibly be?"

Jack wished he had an answer.

Tom waved everyone toward the TV room. "Come on, let's have a look," he said, then led the way.

Jack reluctantly followed, bringing up the rear behind Gia and Vicky. Tom seemed to have taken over.

In the TV room Tom lifted the chest off the floor and onto the bed. He opened the lid and made a grandiose gesture.

"Voila!"

Gia and Vicky were suitably unimpressed.