A female voice narrated the event as the three kids and their cats prepared to begin the event.
“Each contestant has a grid of twenty-four panels that light up. The owner will use their gears to light up one panel at a time. Each time their cat hits the corresponding panel, they will score one point. Will their pet obey their instruction? Welcome… to Obedience…”
Jamie looked at a panel of gears on a machine deck in front of him. He made a face at Remy, who fiddled with his controls in the middle of the three contestant line-up.
“Hey, I’m Jamie.”
“I know,” Remy said in his Russian accent, trying to ignore the kid. “I saw your name on the screen. Do not talk to me.”
“What’s your name?”
“Remy.”
“Remy, it’s very nice to meet—”
“—Do not talk to me. English.”
Jamie mocked the boy with his face, “Do not look at me.”
He looked over at the girl, who sat to Remy’s right. “Who’s she?”
“I said do not speak to me, English. You must concentrate,” Remy nodded at his Bisoubisou. She lifted her paw and waved back, as if on cue. “You ready, Bisoubisou?”
“Meow,” she responded, frightened by the impressive arena lights.
Jamie decided to enact the same action with Jelly. “Hey, girl. You ready?”
Jelly didn’t say anything as her handler plonked her on the starting grid. No lift of the paw. Jamie felt immediately inferior and wondered why Jelly didn’t wave back like Bisoubisou had done with Remy.
Of course, they didn’t have that kind of a relationship. Remy had clearly done his homework. It pleased the Russian kid no end that the stupid Brit hadn’t taken the time to train his own pet.
“Useless, English.”
“Shut up,” was Jamie’s provocative retort.
Gunnar waved his hands and held the microphone to his mouth. “Okay, I think the contenders are ready.”
A dramatic game show-like synthesizer replaced the music.
Jamie, Remy, and Leesa’s gears lit up.
“And… go!” Gunnar said.
Jamie looked at his controls without the faintest idea what to do. “What do I do?”
Remy looked over and smirked. “Make it up, English.”
“Okay, Russian,” Jamie muttered sarcastically as he hit the first panel on his deck. It lit up and seemed to growl. He lifted his head and nodded at Jelly. “Go on, girl.”
She trundled forward and sat in the middle of the grid on the lit panel. It sunk in a few inches and made a “ping’ noise, indicating that she’d selected the right one.
The tile turned white under her paws, scaring her. “Meow,” she yelped and jumped into the air.
“Good girl,” Jamie said to a wave of applause from behind his shoulders.
Remy hit the third panel. Bisoubisou wouldn’t move. “Come on, you insolent feline. Move,” he instructed her, tapping the button over and over again.
Instead of obliging, she rolled onto her side and licked her paw.
“Ugh, you idiot.”
Leesa hit the fifth panel button and looked at Remy.
The boy made a face at her. “What are you looking at?”
“I don’t know,” she said, “Maybe an idiot?”
Ping.
Suzie Q-Two jumped forward and hit the fifth panel with her paws.
It lit up, scaring the life out of her. “Meow!”
“Whoa,” Gunnar chuckled into the microphone, “Okay, it’s between Jelly and Suzie Q-Two. One for one for those two, and Bisoubisou is looking a bit out of her league.”
“No she does not,” Remy thumped the controls and kicked the deck. “This is unfair.”
The crowd erupted in waves of laughter as they watched Bisoubisou lick her paws, completely ignoring her master’s instruction.
“Let’s mix this up a bit,” Gunnar said to the crowd.
“What?” Jamie looked down at his controls. The gears and buttons powered down.
Daft Punk’s Harder Better Faster Stronger kicked off through the arena speakers.
“It’s a dance-off!” Gunnar turned and pointed at the grids. “A classic track all the way from the early twentieth century. Here we go.”
Jelly’s head jumped from left to right and up and down as she observed the panels come to life against the beat of the tune.
Bisoubisou jumped to her feet and growled.
Suzie Q-Two did the same and hopped to the first panel, pressing it down.
The buzzer went off, awarding a point to the white bobtail.
“Yes, yes, yes,” Leesa jumped in her seat and applauded her cat. The tiny ball of fluff hopped to the next panel and racked up some more points in tune to the beat. “You go, girl.”
Remy looked at Bisoubisou and clenched his fist. “Commence dancing, you stupid cat.”
Bisousbisou jumped to her feet and raced into the middle of her twenty-four panels. They lit up, one-by-one, in time to the beat. She twisted around and followed the lit panels with her head, whining to herself.
Jamie stood out of his chair and clapped along with the music. Jelly hopped from one panel to the other, collecting points. “Go, go, go.”
The timing of the music intensified, flashing the grid panels even faster.
“Wow,” Jamie marveled at Jelly as she jumped from one to the other. She wasn’t doing a perfect job, however. One particularly difficult jump sent her onto her hind legs and tumbling over onto a grayed-out panel.
Bzzz.
“Oh. That’s an error, right there,” Gunnar said into his microphone. “Anderson may lose points for that.”
“No!” Jamie yelled from his seat, “It’s going too fast. That rubbish olden days music is too quick.”
Jelly scrambled to her feet and squealed. Her pupils dilated as she tried to keep up the attack on the flashing panels.
Suzie Q-Two caught up with each panel and totaled over thirty points which displayed on the mega-screen.
“Suzie Q-Two is winning,” Gunnar commentated, “But can she keep this up…”
Bisoubisou finally got involved in the event. She jumped from one lit panel to the other with extraordinary grace and ability.
“And we’re back in the game,” Gunnar said, watching Bisoubisou trashing her opponents.
Suzie Q-Two had a hard time keeping up with her rivals. The panels blinked away even faster against the thrust of the music. Her eyes turned a urine-stained yellow.
“No, Suzie Q-Two!” Leesa screamed, “Don’t do that now!”
Her cat shrieked and bushed out her tail. She went into a flying hissy fit and attacked her grid at random, flying into the air. Her tail got in the way.
Bzzz-Bzzz-Bzzz…
The mega-screen showed Suzie Q-Two’s points drain away to zero as she hit the wrong panels.
“No, no, no,” Leesa started to sob as her cat jumped from her own grid and raced across Bisousbisou’s, pushing her out of the way.
“Whoooaaaaa,” the crowd roared as they watched Suzie Q-Two hop into Jelly’s grid and threaten to attack her as she danced.
Bzzz.
Jelly flipped in the air and clipped Suzie Q-Two around the face with her paw.
The music track crashed to a halt, leaving a flummoxed Jelly catching her breath. Suzie Q-Two rolled around on her belly and licked her paws.
“I think we’d regard that as a disqualification,” Gunnar said.
Leesa’s panel buzzed out. The lights on her grid flipped off.
The girl burst into tears, lamenting her cat’s disobedience.
A bunch of audience members scrunched up their betting slips and threw them to the ground. “Ugh, absolutely useless,” one of them said to his friend.