“She thinks that you are alone too much,” Laura added gently.
“Alone? I’m constantly surrounded by people!” Adrian argued.
“Yes, but you are their commander. And yes, I know you have friends. But you don’t have anyone with whom you can share your life.”
“Beth and I are just friends,” he said.
“Whatever you say, Adrian. But there was a time when you were in love with her.”
“Once. I don’t have the time now for those things,” Adrian said stubbornly.
“Perhaps you can try and make time,” Laura retorted.
Adrian sighed. “Perhaps.” He paused, and looked conflicted for a moment before his face cleared. “Tell me, how was your day?” he asked, changing the subject. Laura resigned herself to the end of that conversation and went along with his not-so-subtle topic change. She proceeded to describe to him in excruciating detail the flow of her meetings that day.
Adrian stood as Bethany entered his quarters. They embraced warmly and she took a seat at the table. Goran, Adrian’s steward, entered from the kitchen and started putting food on the table. Bethany sighed in satisfaction as Goran removed the covers from the plates and the smell of the dishes spread through the room.
“That looks delicious,” Bethany said. “I skipped lunch and have been looking forward to this all day.”
Adrian smiled. “Well, then, there is no need to wait,” he said, and grabbed a big chunk of synth meat. He cut off a chunk and put it in his mouth. There was no difference in taste from real meat, and over the years it had replaced meat harvested from living animals. Now meat was grown in vats on “farms,” but with no actual living animals. But cooked meals weren’t really that commonplace nowadays; they were for special occasions. Most of the Empire ate food prepared in bio-fabricators, and while it could be made to taste like anything you imagined, it was always in the form of gray paste.
Beth released another sound of satisfaction as she took a bite of her own piece.
“This is the best thing I have ever eaten,” she said blissfully.
Adrian nodded in agreement. “It is pretty good. I’ve been trying to get the recipe from Goran for years, but that man is one tough nut to crack,” he said. Then he made a Nel gesture for interest as he asked, “So why did you skip lunch?”
They made small talk as they ate, exchanging funny stories and swapping experiences from their various positions in command over the years and how they dealt with insubordination. Adrian told her about their old team from the Academy, which she had lost touch with, and he promised to get them all together again.
Then Beth paused and looked at him strangely for a moment before shaking her head. “I don’t think that I will ever get used to that,” she commented.
“Used to what?” Adrian asked, confused.
“Those gestures you are making as you speak,” she answered.
Adrian looked at his hand and saw that his fingers were bent and pointed upwards in a Nel sign that meant comfortableness. Startled, he dropped his hand to the table.
“Oh, I didn’t realize I was doing it,” he said.
“No, no. It’s not bad, I’m just not used to seeing that. I don’t really interact with any Nel privately; I have only seen it from a few of my subordinates.”
“I do spend a lot of time around Nel, and count some among my best friends. I guess that it just became a part of me,” Adrian said.
Bethany looked at him sadly. “I knew that you must have changed, but these past few days have just served to show me the extent of it. We lost so much time…” Beth said remorsefully.
“Neither one of us is the same person we were then.”
“No, we are not,” Beth said softly. She picked up a fork and started playing with it in silence for a few moments before speaking. “I heard some rumors…”
“Rumors?” Adrian asked.
“Yes.” She raised her eyes to look at him, and she dropped her fork to the table in front of them. “About a floating ball.”
Adrian smiled. “Floating ball?”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
Adrian glanced down at the fork, then pointed his hand at it and slowly raised the object using telekinesis. Technically, he didn’t need to move his hand, but he had found that telekinesis was much easier for him to use with hand motions; it was easier for his mind to recognize what he wanted to do. He didn’t need to concentrate as much.
Bethany looked at the floating fork openmouthed. Then Adrian slowly moved it in front of her and lowered it to the table, releasing his grasp on it. Beth reached and picked it up, studying it in fascination.
That allowed Adrian to study her in turn. Her red hair was now about the same length as it had been back in the Academy, cut to her jawline. But her green eyes no longer had the same shine as they used to. There was tiredness in them, on her face as well. She was still as beautiful as she was the day he met her—there was no sign of age on her face—but Adrian could still see it in the movement of her facial muscles. There were times when his mind made him see more than he should, more than the person he was talking to intended to reveal.
His mind could process and interpret her slight movements, tell him what was hidden behind believable smiles and deft topic changes. That skill was something that gave him an edge over his opponents in fights. But it was also what had given birth to the chasm between him and his friends. He knew that was one of the reasons why he interacted more with Nel. They were capable of hiding their emotions behind bland faces that they wore in public with much greater skill. They had evolved that way. It was why they used their hand gestures to make their emotions clear. It made it much easier for Adrian to connect with the people who could reveal to him only what they wanted to.
It was also one of the main reasons why he hadn’t pushed himself to learn more about his telepathy. Even without Iris and Laura telling him, he had seen what was happening, how he was becoming isolated from people. If he could read people’s minds, it would have only made that worse.
Adrian looked at Beth and found he could see right through her. He had seen everything that day when he’d told her that they could be only friends. She wanted more, he knew it. And he also knew that he wanted that as well.
After a moment of hesitation, he stood and took the two steps to stand in front of her. She was so engrossed with the fork in her hands that she didn’t notice until he gently placed his palm against her cheek and turned her around. He saw her startle, and then he leaned down and kissed her.
She hesitated for a moment before giving in. The kiss was everything he had dreamed it would be, and more. But too soon it ended. And Adrian straightened. His hand was still on her face, and both of them were flushed and breathing heavily.
He lowered his hand, taking hers in his and helping her stand. He felt her against him, and then guided her to the doors leading to his bedroom.
A few hours later, Adrian gazed at Beth as he tenderly traced circles on her bare shoulder. They were in his bed, and Beth was asleep. Adrian just couldn’t let sleep take him. He had imagined this moment for years, and now it was real. He was afraid that if he went to sleep, he would wake up with all of this being just a dream, or the same delusion but induced in his mind space.
He knew that it couldn’t be a dream, but the fear was still there. He had never let anyone inside his inner circle. Never opened himself to another, except for Iris, who was almost a part of him. But he felt that he was ready to do that with Beth.
It was close to morning, and Adrian knew that they wouldn’t be able to hide this. By midday, everyone would know, if they didn’t already. But there wasn’t really a problem; personal relationships weren’t forbidden, although there were some stipulations. And Adrian technically wasn’t a part of the Fleet; he was a Clan Leader.