Adrian watched as a small shuttle rose from the water some way off the coast, then flew straight at them, landing on the beach close to Adrian and Clear Waters. After its doors opened, a Sowir walked out, dressed in an ornate, tight suit. The Sowir crossed the distance and stopped in front of them, his attention on Clear Waters.
“What is this? How does this ungifted appear connected to the Spirit of the Universe?” the Sowir sent at Clear Waters.
Adrian grimaced at the power of the voice in his head; this Sowir was strong, much stronger than Clear Waters. Before Clear Waters could respond, Adrian used his own telepathy to speak.
“This ‘ungifted’ can speak for himself,” Adrian sent forcefully in the way he’d learned from Clear Waters.
The Sowir’s attention on Adrian intensified, and a massive force slammed against Adrian’s mind, trying to get in. Adrian staggered a step back, but managed to fight the attempt off, just barely. The power was so much greater than that of Clear Waters that he doubted he would be able to fight off another such attack. Then Clear Waters interfered. Adrian felt the two Sowir make a link and start exchanging thoughts far faster than what Adrian was able to comprehend.
Once they were done, Adrian could feel an emotional wave coming from the new Sowir—disbelief and horror.
“We were wrong?” Adrian heard it send in despair, painfully, and he knew that the war with the Sowir was over.
Chapter Nineteen
Three months later – Warpath
Adrian sat at his holo table and looked at the comm message from Bethany in his queue, still unopened. The words recorded inside were her last to him, moments before she’d died because of his mistake. Because he hadn’t been good enough. Because he had grown accustomed to using the Watchtower where all the information was fed into his mind, so much so that outside of it he had forgotten to check everything. He hadn’t accounted for how much larger the fallout of the destruction of the Sowir Construct would be once the massive power generators that ran it exploded. He had failed her, and the people under his command. He feared her words. He feared that she had condemned him, cursed him for killing her.
For the first time ever, he had let his guard down, let someone inside. He had had her for one night, and even then only a handful of days before he’d lost her. His thoughts were a mess. He couldn’t focus. Couldn’t allow himself to grieve. He didn’t allow the loss he felt to show; his face was a cold, emotionless mask. It was his arrogance that had put them in that position. He wanted to make a point to the Sowir: it was he who gave the orders.
He had heard the whispers of those around him. How they called him merciless, without a heart. They questioned how he was able to not care about someone close to him dying. And yet they didn’t know, couldn’t know, that he feared breaking. His friends had tried to talk to him, Laura too. But he didn’t allow anyone close. After his mission in the Sowir home system was finished, he’d rushed to Warpath and shut himself inside his quarters. His only company was Akash, Sora, and his steward, who he only saw during meal time.
And the thing that scared him the most was that he knew in his heart that if he could turn back the time, if he could go back to the moment before Harbinger had fired its weapon and destroyed the Sowir Construct, he would have done the same thing again. They’d needed to destroy the Construct, or risk getting surrounded by Sowir warships on the one side and the Construct on the other. He would have given the order again, even if he’d known beforehand that Bethany—the woman he had loved since he was barely a man—would die. And that was what threatened to break him, the knowledge that he was willing to sacrifice anyone in order to win.
Adrian focused back on the message blinking above his holo table. Gathering all his courage, he played the message. He was met with sounds of battle, chaos in the command center of the Audacious as its crew struggled to survive. And at the center of it all was Bethany, her hair plastered to her sweating face and her lips upturned in a sad smile.
“Adrian. I am sorry that we didn’t have much time together; that was my fault for allowing my pride to rule my decisions. But the few days we did have were the happiest I have ever felt.” Her hand reached up and moved a strand of her red hair from where it had stuck to her forehead. “I want you to know that I love you, Adrian. I always did, and always will.” With that, her other hand reached and stopped the recording. The video went to black and Adrian stared at it.
His breath quickened, and he stood up, walking to the middle of the room. Images flashed through his mind—Bethany at the Academy, their fights during training, them making up, them being given positions together on the Athena, the fight against the Concordis ships, coming to Sanctuary, their long talks while they were on patrols, him finding out that she was getting married, her lashing out at him, then years later their reconciliation, and finally the last days. Their first and only night together.
Rage filled his body, and he felt himself trembling. He spun around and his hand pointed at his holo table and chair. He grabbed hold of them and ripped the table from the floor with his mind, throwing both the table and the chair across the room, smashing them against the wall as he released a gut-wrenching scream. Items on his shelves shook and trembled as his telekinesis reached around him uncontrollably.
Then everything left him as he drained his energy supplies, and Adrian dropped to the floor with tears flowing down his face.
“She didn’t blame me,” he whispered.
Iris appeared in front of him, looking at him with compassion. She tried to touch him, but her holographic hand went right through Adrian. “Of course she didn’t blame you, Adrian,” Iris said. “She was in the Fleet; she was one of the best commanders in the Empire, same as you. She knew that you needed to destroy that Construct or risk many more lives.”
“It was my mistake. I shouldn’t have charged into their system like that. I shouldn’t have ordered her ships so close. I should have known how big the fallout would be,” Adrian said softly, and Iris stayed silent.
“You are good, Adrian, one of the best. But not even you can know everything. You are not omniscient,” Iris told him gently.
He didn’t know how long he sat there crying, but eventually he gathered himself, took a deep breath, and stood.
“Adrian, are you alright?” Iris asked hesitantly.
“Yes… I think so,” Adrian responded.
He turned towards the door to his room and opened them, only to be tackled to the floor by two massive animals. Sora and Akash were nudging him with their snouts, and he petted them while making soothing sounds. He’d left them outside on purpose, not wanting to fall into temptation and have them muffle his emotions.
“It’s okay. I’m okay,” he told them. And then finally after a few more minutes, they allowed him to get up, and he entered his living room and started towards the main doors.
“Where are you going?” Iris asked.
Adrian grabbed his coat off the back of a chair and answered, “Sanctuary.”
Chapter Twenty
June; Year 36 of the Empire – Sanctuary
Tomas stood as Adrian entered his office. He had spoken with Laura the day before and had seen that she was much more relaxed now compared to how she’d been over the last three months. She had been worried about Adrian and his refusal to leave his home on Warpath. But Tomas could understand Adrian’s grief and him wanting to be alone. He had gone through similar experience when he’d lost people back in Sol. He’d known that Adrian would recover; Adrian was far too strong to break.