Yet Geigi, tottering on the brink of public embarrassment and a loss of respect that could collapse his financial dealings, had sought the truth face to face, had challenged Bren-paidhi to answer for him the mathematical questions Deana-paidhi had raised.
The support and resources Bren-paidhi had gotten from Tabini himself had enabled him to answer that question, and that answer had undoubtedly saved Geigi’s reputation and probably his life, counting the financial and political chaos that would have erupted in the province.
Bren rather likedthe plump and studious lord, this man who posed courageous questions of his universe because if it killed him, lord Geigi wanted the truth: baji-naji, as atevi put it, turn the world upside down, lord Geigi didn’t want some surface assurance that would let him ignore the universe. No, he wasa scientifically educated man, not because an atevi lord had to be, but because he wanted to embrace the universe, understand it, see it in all its mathematical beauty.
Understand the human side of the universe—maybe Geigi could even approach that.
But lord Geigi would not, on a gut level, understand being liked, his language having no such word and his atevi heart feeling no such emotion. What went on inside Geigi was equally complex, it might produce the same results, but it was not human; and that was the first understanding of all understandings the paidhi had to accept in dealing with atevi.
As a human, he likedlord Geigi; he also respectedGeigi’s courage and good sense, and that latter sentiment Geigi couldunderstand, at least closely enough to say there was congruence enough between their viewpoints for association (a very atevi word) of Geigi’s interests and his—in the way atevi looked at things. Geigi also seemed to respect him, the paidhi, as the one official of Tabini’s predominantly Ragi household ironically most able to understand the tightrope Geigi walked as a Maschi in an Edi district in a Ragi nation. That was another point on which they were associated, that atevi word of such emotionally charged relationship.
Or their mutual numbers added, giving them no cosmic choice but association.
It was a lot likefriendship. The human in the equation might likethe man. But add them up to equal friendship? That wasn’t what Geigi’s atevi nerves were capable of feeling, let alone what Geigi’s atevi brain thought was going on; and that very delicate distinction was true of any atevi, no matter what. Basic law of the Foreign Service: Atevi aren’t friends. Atevi can’t be friends. They don’t like you. They’re not capable of liking you. The wiring isn’t there.
Neverforget it. Neverexpect it. Start building that construct to satisfy yourneeds and you’re dead. Or you’ll bedead. And the peace will be in shambles.
Based on his own experiences, he’d add, if he were, like his own predecessor Wilson-paidhi, talking to a university class in Foreign Studies, Don’t lead them to expect too much of you, either.
He hoped Geigi didn’t attribute Tabini-aiji’s shift of attitude and the grant of manufacturing in this district directly to the paidhi’s doing. That would be a mistake, and dangerous. Tabini’s actions were for Tabini’s reasons, and he never, ever wanted to get between the aiji of Shejidan and any of the lords of the Association. A human had no business whatsoever in the lines of man’chi, of loyalty between lord and lord, and, taking that one element of his predecessor’s advice greatly to heart, he never intended to stand there.
A brown lizard whipped along the balustrade. Itfeared nothing. Djossi flowers were in bloom again with the coming of spring, and the little reptile dived in among the blooms and heart-shaped leaves, on the hunt for something tasty.
Humans came and humans might go. But the land went on, and the sea washed the rocks, and atevi, like Geigi, who knew such rhythms of this world of their birth in blood and bone… were a force to be reckoned with, wherever it regarded this planet.
He was glad, seeing this dawn, that he had opted to guest in lord Geigi’s house. His security had had very serious misgivings about his accepting Geigi’s invitation to stay with him in his ancestral home rather than in the Guild-guaranteed hotel. It was unprecedented that a person of Tabini-aiji’s household (and so the paidhi was accounted, socially speaking) should guest in this house, which until recently had not had the status, the resources, or the security clearance to receive such a visitor from the court at Shejidan.
Well, the considerations once in the way of such a move had changed. And clearance had come from the aiji himself for the paidhi to accept Geigi’s invitation.
One couldn’t say lord Geigi was particularly in the paidhi’s debt for that latter change of heart, either. In that, Tabini had been informed and had decided for his own reasons to change Geigi’s status.
Figure that lord Geigi, too, was risking something in having such an unprecedented guest, since it certainly would be talked about—talked about on the evening news, coast to coast if it was an otherwise quiet day—and would set lord Geigi at some odds with the politics of his Edi neighbors: not seriously so, Bren hoped.
But personally the paidhi, by taking this very sip of tea (out of a kitchenful of herbs lethal to humans), bet his life that Geigi was exactly what he seemed. He had bet it last night and he had slept quite soundly under this roof. Wilson-paidhi would hold that he was in danger of transgressing common sense, and that a paidhi who started having such confidence in his assessments of atevi was headed for serious trouble, but, ah, well, here he was.
On the other hand, where didhe invest emotionally? His treatment of the paidhi-successor and his refusal to knuckle under to the head of the State Department meant, effectively, that he couldn’t go home. Meant he would have no more chances to sit by the sea on the other side of this strait. Meant he would have no more breakfasts on his brother’s front porch—and this place, this moment, this associationin an alien government was what he’d traded it all for, in some very real sense: the chance to sit here, in the position he occupied with an alien lord. He had a mother, a brother, an estranged father, and his brother’s family all over there in that haze that obscured the strait, and there was a chance he’d never see his mother again, considering the troubling reports he’d gotten on her health this winter. He was bitter about that penalty his government made him and her pay; he was angry, and he asked himself at odd and very dangerous moments like this one, if it wasn’t psychologically or professionally acceptable for him to build careful little fences around certain atevi in his mind and, one-sidedly, thinkabout liking them, what in hellwas he going to do?
He had a human roommate. He had Jase Graham. There was that.
He could likeJase Graham. That was permitted, psychologically, politically, in every way approved by the State Department; that was permissible.
But he didn’t dare quite turn loose of his suspicion of a man from a human culture centuries divorced from his own, a man who didn’t, on his side, offer deep confidences to him. Geigi had flung his lifeinto Bren’s hands when he welcomed him and the aiji’s Guild members under his roof with every evidence of delight. They’d spent the previous evening and this morning discussing sea shells, architecture, and Geigi’s marriage prospects. Jase, who had lived under the same roof, shared dinners and spent the majority of the last six months with him, had trouble talking about his home or his family or his ship’s whereabouts over the last couple of centuries.