As we continue to watch, I’m super impressed not only with Justin’s singing, but also by how at ease, how professional he appears onstage.
They play more songs. We watch and dance. Every minute, I fall more in lust with Justin. It’s hard not to. He moves with the music flawlessly, changing his posture and his movements to match the tone of each song. I can’t help imagining he’s singing to me, even though most of the girls in the crowd probably feel the same way. I’m buzzed and my hormones are flying, so I’m going with it. Justin is singing to me. And with each gulp of beer, the idea of jumping onstage and leg humping him, the silly image that came to me while inking him, doesn’t seem that farfetched.
About the sixth song in, Holly goes on a beer run and leaves me alone. The guys she was next to, and flirting with, scoot over and ask me my name. I murmur it without glancing at them. The closest one compliments my arm sleeve, but busy watching the band—Justin mostly—I mouth a thanks but then ignore them.
Holly comes back carrying two beers and a shot of tequila as the band takes a break. People shuffle around. Others leave—either to get drinks or wait in the bathroom line—and we’re soon less than ten feet from the stage.
I force the shot down with a grimace, causing Holly to laugh. I stuff both my old beer cup and the little plastic shot cup in her huge purse as revenge. Then we wait while my head starts seriously buzzing. She’s soon talking with the new guys next to us while I sway with the dance music playing over the speakers and watch stagehands rearrange the setup.
Finally, the lights lower and the recorded music fades out. The band comes back out along with two younger people following. One holds a violin, the other a small guitar.
The roar of the crowd grows deafening.
Clutching an acoustic guitar, Justin moves to the microphone. He views the mob of hooting fans. “As soon as you hear this tune, I’m sure you’ll recognize it, but…” He pauses as his eyes meet mine. We stare at each other and neither of us moves. His lids lower before he lifts his gaze back to the crowd. I’m trying to figure out whether my inebriated imagination is in overdrive or if he really just paused onstage for a minute to stare at me.
“This is a first for us and we need a little help.” He gestures to the side of the stage, where the girl and guy stand, looking nervous. “Not only will I be playing with Romeo but let me introduce Jane, who’s playing the violin. And Robert, who plays a mean mandolin.”
He steps away from the microphone and the crowd grows quiet. The others in the band watch him until he taps on the stem of his acoustic guitar. Robert and Justin start strumming. I recognize the melody, but I can’t place it, especially since I’m buzzed up and completely enamored.
Justin leans closer to the microphone and starts singing.
Everyone else fades into a shadowy background. His voice and the music catch in my chest. I’m trapped in the moment. Caught in his intense gaze, I’m lost as his lush voice wraps around me. There’s only the music and the sudden, fierce connection between us.
Holly nudges me with her elbow and yells in my ear, “It’s like he’s singing to you! Fucking ‘Iris’! Unbelievable! These lyrics are hot!…” I feel her jump up and down next to me. “It’s like he really, really wants you to see past the rocker to the man inside!”
I don’t comment. I don’t look away from Justin’s gaze either. But Holly is right. Though I can’t concentrate on the words while he stares at me, I understand the soulful question in his voice—and his heartfelt plea hits me hard. I’ve seen glimpses behind his playboy persona, but as we stare at each other, I want to peel back the layers, reach in, and immerse myself in the real Justin, the one who I’m beginning to realize hides.
He sings and stares as I sway and melt.
Oh crap. He’s the snake charmer and I’m the snake mesmerized by his melody.
And mesmerized I am.
Holly yells something else, but I can’t pull my attention from Justin. The band plays, he sings, and I drown in the emotional waves that are flowing between us. A crashing sensation washes over me again and again. Each time he sings the song’s soulful refrain, each time he glances down at his guitar for a second then back at me, I’m drenched with longing. It’s not lust, exactly, though that is there in the surge. A fierce want I lost long ago—the sense that there is someone out there balancing me—fills me. Someone who understands me. Someone made for me.
And that someone right now feels like the man singing onstage.
With each passing note, he has me closer to believing it’s true.
Want crashes into me as his voice rises in volume during the last refrain.
As the song’s last notes ring out, the crowd goes wild.
“Holy shit!” Holly yells in my ear. “You two were so eye fucking each other!”
Pulling my gaze from his, I draw in a deep breath. It feels like I’ve come up from a deep dive. Air rushes out of me. I need to escape before I find myself drowning. “I need to use the restroom.”
“What!”
I have to get out of here. I can sense stares from the crowd surrounding us, the interest in the girl Justin just sang to. “I have to pee.” I grab her arm. “Now.”
“All right. All right,” Holly says, taking my hand and yanking me through the mass as a fast pounding song starts.
We join the end of the long line as I try to catch my breath.
“Girl, you’ve been holding out on me,” Holly says, leaning next to me against the wall.
I shake my head.
She pokes my shoulder. “Then what was that?”
Closing my eyes, I try to figure that out. It’s almost like I imagined what happened. It’s hard to believe reality could involve that much intensity.
“Hey, you okay?”
I open my eyes and nod. “Just a little drunk.”
Holly grins at me. “On alcohol or lust?”
A giggle escapes me. “Maybe both?” We shuffle along the wall with the rest of the herd. “He just likes to flirt, Hol.”
“I call bullshit. What I just witnessed went beyond flirting. He sang ‘Iris’ to you. ‘Iris’ is some serious shit, Al.”
I kind of recall her saying it before, but I want to make sure because I will be loading it on my phone. “That’s the name of the song?”
“Yes, it’s by the Goo Goo Dolls.” When I give her a blank stare, she lets out an exasperated sigh. “It’s famous. If it were a painting, you’d know it by sight, the artist, the year it was painted, and the story behind it too.”
I shrug and scoot forward with the moving line.
After the bathroom stop, Holly orders me another shot. Knowing I’ll be seeing Justin soon, I don’t argue and swallow the tequila in one gulp. Liquid courage to the rescue. The thought of dealing with my emotions directly in front of him, without the crowd and the stage to provide a buffer, has me jittery. Each of us with a beer in hand, we wait at the edge of the crowd as Justin announces their next song as something new the guitar player wrote.
“Wow. This is good. Bluesy,” Holly shouts, and takes a sip of beer. “They’re tat worthy.”
“You want me to ink their name above your ass crack?” I absently say.
She laughs. “Maybe along it?”
I can’t help but snort. Leave it to Holly to get me out of the weird emotional place Justin has left me in. I take a gulp of beer and face the stage.
I keep reminding myself of the facts. I’m just watching a band with a gorgeous singer. I’m just out with a girlfriend on a rare night of partying.
That’s all this is.
That’s all I can allow.
Chapter 10
Justin