“—to kiss you.”
She didn’t give me a chance to argue. Her hands smoothed over my shoulders and up the sides of my neck. Her touch was exactly the balm I craved, and I loathed my weakness for her. When she leaned in, I gave her my cheek.
She dropped her hands and sat back on her heels, looking at me with sad longing. “You don’t want to kiss me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“It’s just a kiss. I’m not expecting more.”
She made it sound so innocent, but I knew better. Last night when she’d kissed me, I ended up dry-humping her. And we both had more clothing on then. “We’re in my bed and you’re only wearing a shirt. You may not have expectations, but I don’t have much in the way of restraint right now.”
“You don’t need to restrain yourself for my benefit.”
“I’m still mad at you.” There was no point in denying it.
“I know.” Her fingers drifted along my jaw. “And I understand if you can’t forgive me yet.”
“It’s probably going to take a while.”
“I expect so.” She leaned in again, slowly, until she was only an inch away from my mouth.
I regarded her with wary anticipation. “Making out isn’t going to fix things.”
“No, but it might help alleviate some of the tension.”
Her lips touched mine. She met no resistance so she did it again, going to the left side, to the viper bites.
“I missed your mouth,” she said, nipping her way along.
I groaned in response and she tilted her head to the side, her tongue flicking across the seam of my mouth, a tentative request for access. One hand left my neck and glided down my arm. She stroked along my fingers until they unfurled from the fist I was making.
“It’s okay to touch me,” she said.
“It’s really not a good idea,” I muttered.
She ignored me, though, and moved my not-so-reluctant palm to her hip. I gripped the shirt and it bunched tight, conforming to the dip in her waist and the swell of her breasts. It didn’t at all help my conviction to postpone sexual gratification. Until maybe tonight. After I had the day to process all the shit we’d talked about in the past twelve hours.
“I missed the way you taste.” Her tongue pressed forward, all soft exploration and warm, languid sweeps.
Conflicted though I might be, my body was all for getting close to her. And the closer the better, as far as my dick was concerned. My brain appeared to have migrated south and didn’t see any problem with where we were headed.
Tenley’s hands were on the move again. The one against my neck slid higher into my hair. Her fingers curled and tugged, angling my head to the side. The other one went on a tour over my forearm, up my biceps to my shoulder, then down my chest. She paused at the barbell, her index finger drawing circles before she continued her downward trajectory. The descent stopped at the waistband, where she started tracing the perimeter, back and forth, over and over.
I tensed when her fingers dipped past the elastic barrier, so fucking close to the head of my cock. Contact from the waist up was manageable; anything below and I was liable to drop the pretense of civility. “I thought you didn’t expect more.”
Her fingers stilled. “Do you want me to stop touching you?”
“I don’t know.” Which was a stupid thing to say because I sure as hell didn’t want her to stop. Not one little fucking bit.
She retracted her fingers and settled her palm on my chest, pushing me down on the bed. Her hair fanned out over my chest, tickling the skin as she kept up with the kissing, teasing soft nips interspersed with mind-bending strokes of tongue. Eventually I snaked my hand around the back of her neck and drew her closer.
She shifted around, bracing her weight on one arm, then she started up with the touching again. And stupid fucking me soaked it up. I’d been deprived for too long. The slow progression from my arm to my shoulder, over my chest down to the waistband, and then back up was infuriating. My hips shifted of their own accord, seeking what I was denying us both. She brushed my erection through the fabric.
And I snapped.
In a smooth surge, I wound an arm around her waist and rolled on top of her, settling between her thighs. Even through the thin cotton I could feel the heat and wetness, welcoming me home. I fumbled with the hem of her shirt and yanked it up. She started to pull it over her head, but I swatted her hands out of the way. She might have started this, but I was going to finish it.
Fuck waiting. Fuck necessary conversations. Fuck getting the answers. I ran my palms heavily along her ribs, to the soft swell of her breasts. The barbells were fully healed now, so there was no need to be gentle. I dropped my head and sucked the taut skin into my mouth. Her hands went to my hair, pulling me closer as she arched under me. I bit down, probably harder than I should have, and she gasped.
“I told you it wasn’t a good idea, but you didn’t listen, did you?” I was rerouting the anger into sexual aggression. I shifted in the cradle of her hips; my erection nestled right where I wanted it.
“I’m sorry. I missed you.” Her hands moved down my back and under the waistband, nails digging into my ass.
“Then you should have come back sooner.”
“I wanted to.”
“I don’t want lip service. You shouldn’t have left me here without any fucking clue as to why you were gone. You should have done something about it.”
“Then let me show you.” Tenley tried to slip a hand between us and get to my cock.
“Oh, no, you don’t.” I threaded my fingers through hers and brought her arm up over her head, pinning it to the bed, and did the same with the other one, clasping them together with one hand so I had the other one free. “I’ll give it to you when I’m damn good and ready.”
With a quick shove I pushed my pants down to free my aching erection. Then I shifted my hips back, my cock sliding along her slick skin. I kept it up for a long time, until she was panting and moaning. Every time she got close to an orgasm, I stopped. Then I resumed the slow glide until I was on the verge of coming myself. I slid lower, the head nudging past her entrance. I stopped.
“Please, Hayden.” Her eyes were glassy, her cheeks flushed. She struggled against the hold I had on her hands.
“Please what?” I asked tightly.
“I need you. Please.” Some of the heat in her gaze evaporated. “I never stopped wanting you while I was gone. I just didn’t think I deserved you.”
Relief replaced the near-violent fear that had settled under my skin. Her admission made me powerless against the covetousness to reclaim what was mine. I pushed forward and Tenley lifted her hips as my piercing eased past the threshold. I closed my eyes as the sensation of being connected to her like this again consumed every rational thought. I wanted it to erase all the hurt and the pain, but instead it reminded me of how alone I’d been without her, and how I never wanted to go through that again.
I released her hands and they immediately smoothed down my back and up again, clinging to my shoulders. Then I started a heavy fill and retreat. As I picked up momentum, Tenley’s legs tightened around my waist. I was far from gentle, slamming into her relentlessly. With grim satisfaction I watched her come apart underneath me, over and over again, her eyes never leaving mine. When the lick of fire shot down my spine, I buried my face in her neck even as she pleaded with me to look at her. I couldn’t handle being that transparent, so I denied her. I came so hard, I nearly blacked out.
9
TENLEY
We never made it out for breakfast. And Hayden was late for work.
“You’re going to come in and say hi to everyone, right?” he asked as we passed through the lobby of his building.