“Maybe I should wait until later,” I replied hesitantly. The sex left me feeling awkward and did nothing to assuage the strain lingering between us as we walked side by side, not touching.
“They’ve all missed you, too. It wasn’t just me you left behind.”
The reminder of the pain I’d caused brought on a fresh wave of remorse. I’d exchanged one guilt for another, but at least I had some control over this situation. This I could fix. Hopefully.
“Okay. I’ll come with you.”
His shoulders relaxed and he took my hand. I imagined the pendulum swing of his moods would continue as we sorted through the emotional turmoil I’d created.
We stepped out into the cold afternoon and headed right, passing the storefronts at street level. Hayden had the shortest commute in the world. I glanced at Serendipity, across the street. I’d need to go there next and face Cassie.
The door tinkled as we entered Inked Armor, and silence fell over the shop.
“Hi,” I said meekly as Lisa and Jamie stared. Surprisingly, neither looked all that shocked to see me.
Lisa shot up and came barreling toward me from behind the cash register. “I’m so glad you’re home! When did you get back?” She threw her arms around me, squeezing the breath out of my lungs.
“Late last night.” I returned the embrace.
“You should have sent me a message,” she whispered, too low for anyone else to hear. Lisa was the only one I’d kept in constant contact with. And only because she’d sent me persistent messages the whole time. She was a difficult one to ignore. I squeezed her arm, so she knew I heard her.
“He knows we were all in touch with you,” she murmured, then stepped back. “You’ve lost weight,” she said with disapproval. “And what happened to your face?”
“It’s not a big deal.” I glanced toward the back of the shop, where her office and the private rooms were. I needed to get her alone so I could ask how Hayden found out. It would explain his comment last night and why my silence was so upsetting, beyond the obvious reasons.
Lisa’s eyes moved surreptitiously to Hayden. He crossed his arms over his chest and dropped his head, eyes on the floor. I was sure as soon I left she would ask him all the questions she couldn’t ask me.
Jamie saved me from further interrogation by drawing me in for a hug of his own. “You’ve been sorely missed.”
Chris came out of the supply room when he heard all the commotion, laden down with an armful of supplies. “Tee! You’re back!” He dropped the supplies on the closest surface and lifted me right off my feet. “It’s good to see you, girl.” He set me down. “Sarah tried to call you last night, after she listened to your messages. It’s my fault she missed them in the first place.” He gave me a sheepish smile.
I laughed, even though tears slid down my cheeks. Lisa grabbed me a tissue and Hayden put a protective arm around my shoulder, pressing his nose into my damp hair. “Too much, too soon?” he asked.
“A little overwhelmed is all,” I replied, embarrassed.
“You’re not alone there,” he whispered.
While it was good to see them, conversation was a bit strained; they obviously had questions they didn’t feel comfortable asking yet.
When Chris’s first client arrived, I took the opportunity to make an exit. “I’ve got some things to take care of today.” But Hayden and I had been in such a rush to get out the door, we hadn’t discussed when we’d get together again.
Hayden shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels. “I’ve got a break between clients around five. Why don’t you come back then? Unless you’re busy with whatever.” He kicked the toe of my shoe with his.
“No, I’m not busy. Maybe we could get something to eat.”
Hayden nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Food would be good. And I’ll need to pick up my car at some point.”
“I’ll take you,” I offered.
“Sure.”
“I’m going to stop in and see Cassie. Can I bring you something back from the café?” The conversation was terribly uncomfortable, especially with Lisa and Chris and Jamie all pretending they weren’t listening. Chris was the only one who was actually occupied with something legitimate, but even he kept glancing in our direction.
“I’m good. My client will be here any minute.”
“Okay. I’ll see you a little later, then.”
“Yup.”
I waited for some parting gesture of affection—even just a peck on the cheek—but none came. I turned toward the door, disappointed by his dismissal.
“Tenley?”
I looked over my shoulder. “Yes?”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” The keys for my apartment dangled from his finger.
“Right. Of course.”
He placed them in my palm and closed my fist around them. There was a pause, and then he yanked me forward. His hand slipped around the back of my neck and his mouth came down, hard and insistent. His tongue shot between my lips, an echo of the aggression in his bed less than an hour ago. When he was done, he released me. I stumbled back; light-headed and off-balance.
“Don’t go far,” he said darkly.
“I won’t. I promise.”
But I could tell he didn’t believe me.
My next stop was Serendipity. I was nervous about seeing Cassie. Her concern about my abrupt departure was clear in our brief e-mails. She never mentioned how Hayden was doing, even though I asked both times. At first I assumed it was because of her loyalty to him, but after seeing him fall apart last night and this morning, I was no longer convinced that was the case. I’d broken him, and I was sure she wanted me to realize that on my own.
The bell above the door chimed and her head lifted. Disbelief flickered across her face, as well as the same wary uncertainty I’d seen on Hayden’s. “You’re back.”
It was the new greeting.
“I got in last night.”
“Does Hayden know?”
“He’s the first person I saw.” Well, that was mostly true.
“How is he?”
“Confused. Hurt. Angry. Relieved, maybe? We had a long talk last night, and again this morning.”
“He hasn’t managed this well.” Accusation was in her tone.
“I know. Neither have I.” Her disapproval hurt. She had given me fair warning early on about Hayden. She would hold me accountable for what I’d put him through.
She slipped off the chair and came out from behind the counter. “Come here.”
Her embrace was exactly what I needed; it held her forgiveness. I wanted to apologize, but I didn’t know where to start.
“I didn’t mean to hurt him. Or anyone.”
“I’m certain that’s true.” Her hands rested on my shoulders. “And now that you’ve seen what it’s done to him, I’m also very sure you won’t ever do it again.”
A silent or else was tacked on at the end, but I took no offense. I expected nothing less from her.
After I left Serendipity I went to my apartment. Sarah’s car wasn’t in the driveway, but exams were this week, so she could well be in the middle of one. I hadn’t thought to ask Chris while I was at Inked Armor.
The key turned smoothly when I slipped it in the lock, which was unusual. Most of the time I had to fiddle with it to get it to open. I braced myself for the mess I’d left behind, but my apartment had been cleaned. The books I typically left strewn on the floor were stacked neatly on the coffee table. The blankets were folded and placed over the arm of the couch, the pillows in the corners. Hayden was the only person who would take that time and care with my things.
I took off my shoes and hung up my coat, moving through the space like a voyeur. Everything felt so foreign, as if it were someone else’s home instead of my own. My bedroom was as tidy as the rest of the apartment, not a thing out of place. Or rather, everything had been put in a better, more reasonable spot. The pillows on my bed were artfully arranged against the headboard. I lifted the edge of the comforter and checked the sheets. They had been changed and had hospital corners.