“I don’t believe so. Is it something you’d like to look into?”
“Do you remember the angel?”
“Pardon?” Nate’s confusion was obvious.
“I could have sworn it was on the floor, but it wasn’t in any of the crime scene photos.” Even as I said it, I started to second-guess myself. Memories weren’t always reliable.
“I’m sorry, I’m not following.” Nate leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees.
The intensity in the way he regarded me made me uneasy and I shut down. I was probably misremembering, and I sounded like a mental case. “It’s nothing, just part of a stupid dream. Never mind.”
“Are you recalling things you didn’t before? It’s not uncommon for that to happen years after a trauma occurs. I could set you up with someone to talk to about it, if you don’t feel comfortable with me—”
“Don’t start, Nate—”
“Hear me out before you say no. I know this woman. She’s easy to talk to.” When I interrupted, he talked over me. “All I’m suggesting is that you give it a shot. It’s just one hour. There’s no obligation beyond that. If you don’t like her, or it’s not for you, then I’ll drop it.”
“I’ll think about it,” I said, mostly to shut him up.
“You do that.” He clapped me on the shoulder. “If you decide you want to go to the storage unit for whatever reason, or you feel like taking me up on my offer, just call. Otherwise, I’ll see you next week.”
“Later, Nate.” I shuffled the sketches to avoid further eye contact as he left.
I still wasn’t sold on the idea. All that talking would resurrect my shitty past. I didn’t see the benefit in sifting through the sludge just so someone with a PhD in head-fucking could tell me I had PTSD. Labeling it wouldn’t make it go away.
11
TENLEY
TK was curled up on Hayden’s bed, sleeping on a pillow from my apartment. She lifted her head, gave me a groggy mew, and settled her chin on her paws. I climbed up beside her and scratched between her ears. With a graceful roll, she stretched out, eating up the attention. She had grown since I’d left, but not much. I liked that she still looked more like a kitten than a cat.
“I missed you,” I said, stroking her striped belly with its white patch in the center.
She purred in response and scampered into my lap. Her paws came up on my shoulders and she nudged my cheek with her nose. I lay back on Hayden’s pillows; they smelled like him. It was something else I missed. I’d been wearing one of his shirts when I left Chicago. I slept with it until it lost its scent.
He’d changed the sheets before we left this morning. While the undeniable chemistry was still present, the connection we shared had been absent. I hoped it wasn’t gone permanently. The last time we were together, right before I’d left, had been so much sweeter. I’d wanted to tell him how I felt about him. I still did. But he wasn’t ready to hear it, and I was still working up the nerve to say the words. They carried no weight if I couldn’t persuade him I wasn’t going anywhere again.
I stayed with TK longer than I meant to, caught up in memories and worries. At nine, I headed back to Inked Armor. The shop didn’t close for another hour, but if I made myself available, Hayden might decide he wanted to spend more time with me.
He was in the middle of a consultation when I entered the shop. At least this one was male, a repeat customer based on the amount of ink on his arms. Jamie and Chris were busy with clients; both of them glanced up and gave me a nod. Hayden paused in his conversation with his client and gave me a half smile.
“Hey, kitten,” he said, “I’ll be a while yet. Lisa’s in the office working on the books.”
I bit the inside of my lip to keep my grin from becoming too wide. That he was still calling me by that nickname had to be a good thing. “Okay. I’ll see if she wants some company.”
Hayden’s client regarded me with speculative interest as I passed, but Hayden didn’t offer introductions, so I continued to the rear of the shop. The door to Lisa’s office was open, but I knocked anyway. Before, I might have barged in, but I didn’t know where the boundaries were now and I didn’t want to take anything for granted.
Lisa glanced at me from behind the computer screen as her fingers flew over the keyboard. “Hey! Come on in.”
“I don’t want to interrupt.” I remained in the doorway.
“Interruptions are always welcome, and we have catching up to do.” She stopped typing and turned her full attention to me. “How’s your first day back been?”
“Okay.”
She stood up and rounded the desk, pulling me in for a hug. It was exactly what I needed.
“I’m sorry I put you in a difficult position,” I mumbled into her lavender hair. She’d dyed it while I was away. It used to be the pink of cotton candy.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, releasing me.
“All the texts and the e-mails while I was gone.”
“Oh, that. I’m the one who harassed you, not the other way around, so you have nothing to apologize for.”
“Still, you’re Hayden’s friend. I didn’t want to jeopardize your relationship with him; it’s why I didn’t respond at first.” It took five days of nonstop messages before I messaged her back. If Hayden had done the same thing, I would have folded much sooner.
“Hayden’s like my brother. We’re pretty solid. Besides, someone needed to keep tabs on you.”
“Is that what you were doing?”
“You bet. You came back right on time. I already had my road trip planned if you hadn’t shown up by the end of this week.” While a hint of teasing was in her tone, I had a feeling she was serious about coming to retrieve me.
“How did he find out about the messages?”
“Sunday night we were checking your e-mail to Cassie, and he saw it. He wasn’t happy. He told us all to fuck ourselves and tried to walk home from her house.”
“Oh my God.” It put our recent conversations into perspective; the sense of betrayal would have been fresh.
“He’ll get over it.”
“I hope so.”
“You’re okay, though? Everything in Arden Hills is settled now?”
“I still have to deal with my parents’ house, but there’s no hurry and I’m not ready yet. But for the most part, things are taken care of.”
Frank had been in touch to assure me the business end of the house deal went smoothly. Trey hadn’t tried to contact me since I’d walked out. The bruises on my wrists had faded, and in a couple of days they’d be just a memory.
“I’m glad. If you want to talk about it, I’m here. In the meantime, I’ve got some stuff to show you.”
I appreciated that while Lisa had been persistent in keeping in touch, she hadn’t pushed for information or explanations. She only wanted to ensure I was okay. She led me out of the office and into the private piercing room. She locked the door before she pulled out a tray of jewelry.
“I just got back and you want to coerce me into more steel?”
“Coercion is hardly necessary with you.” She uncovered a wide selection of curved barbells.
I shook my head. “Oh, no. No way. Hood piercings take weeks to heal.”
“Four to six to heal completely—”
“Like that’s a selling point? That’s so not an option—”
Lisa held up a finger. “But healing time doesn’t dictate usability. As long as you take good care of it, you can start rolling your marble safely after a week.”
“A week?”
“Mm-hm.” Her smile and the gleam in her eyes were mischievous.
I glanced down at the tray of pretty silver barbells of varying styles and sizes. Hayden’s reasons for putting sex on hold were understandable. A piercing would put me out of commission and relieve me of the temptation to push him. That would be better for both of us. And this would be better for me when it healed, from what Lisa had told me. Not that I needed to worry about my ability to orgasm with Hayden around.