She sat down on the couch. Her leather skirt was so short that he could see a triangle of purple lace thong. ‘You’re not old-fashioned, Frank. Not at all. You have wings but you’ve never learned how to fly. You were successful too young, you were married too young, you became a daddy too young. All that responsibility. All that weight. You’ve never had the chance to be you.’
‘Well, that’s not so easy. How can I be me when I don’t even know who I am?’
She reached out and traced a circle around the dimple on his chin, around and around. ‘I think it’s time you found out, don’t you?’
‘It’s Danny’s funeral on Wednesday. Maybe when that’s over . . .’
‘He’s gone, Frank. I know how much you loved him, but you have to start thinking about what you’re going to do next. You.’
‘Yes, I understand that. The trouble is . . .’ He felt exhausted and confused and he was finding it very hard to swallow. They drank their drinks in silence for a while. Then Frank said, ‘We held the séance.’
‘Oh, yes? I was going to ask you about that.’
‘It worked. He did it. Nevile Strange. He actually put us in touch.’
‘You talked to Danny’s spirit?’
‘Much more than that. We saw Danny, actually saw him, standing outside the window. We all did. Margot, Nevile, me, Margot’s friend.’
‘That’s unbelievable. You’re sure it wasn’t a trick?’
‘If it was, I can’t think how the hell it was done. But the worst part about it was that Danny told me that he couldn’t forgive me.’
Astrid carried on stroking his cheek, and then she ran her fingers into his hair. ‘You shouldn’t take it to heart. Nevile Strange is probably a fraud, in any case.’
‘Astrid, I saw Danny with my own eyes.’
‘You thought you did. But maybe he was only a projection, something like that. I mean, he might have looked as if he was standing outside the window, but supposing Nevile Strange was shining an image on to the glass?’
‘It was Danny. Where was he going to get hold of an image of Danny?’
‘He probably didn’t. But you wanted the image to be Danny so you believed that it was.’
‘No, I don’t buy that. It couldn’t have been a projection. Besides, he didn’t have any equipment with him, not even a briefcase.’
‘Maybe he set it up beforehand, outside in the yard. Maybe he hypnotized you.’
Frank got up and popped open another can of beer. ‘I know what I saw, Astrid.’
‘And Danny didn’t forgive you?’
‘No.’
‘So why do you think that Danny didn’t forgive you?’
‘Because I left him in the back seat of my car, didn’t I? Bleeding to death. He called me and called me but I didn’t come.’
‘Maybe Danny’s spirit wouldn’t forgive you because that was a sure-fire way for Nevile Strange to persuade you to go back for another séance?’
He slowly shook his head. ‘I thought I was cynical.’
‘I’m not being cynical, Frank. I’m being realistic. Before you lost Danny, did you believe that dead people could come back and talk to you? Did you believe in spirits?’
‘No, I didn’t.’
‘You believed that when people died, that was it, that was the end of them?’
‘That’s right.’
‘But now you’ve changed your mind, just like so many other people change their minds when they lose somebody they love.’
‘I know what I saw, Astrid. I know what I heard.’
‘If you say so. But Nevile Strange is a very clever man. He knows how to play on people’s expectations. Even the police. Do you really believe that people leave a psychic resonance in their sunglasses?’
‘I’m very tired, Astrid.’
She knelt up on the couch and took his can of beer away from him. ‘You should rest,’ she said, and she started to unbutton his shirt.
‘Hey,’ he said.
She paused for a moment and stared at him. ‘You need this, Frank. You need somebody to take care of you. For once in your life, stop trying to be responsible for everything that goes on around you.’
He could have told her to stop. He could have told her to go and leave him alone. But somehow he couldn’t find the strength, or the will. When she carried on unbuttoning his shirt, he didn’t resist. He just lay back and watched her eyes, as if they would explain why she wanted him so much. But her eyes were as pale blue as ever, as empty as a windy sky, and they gave away nothing at all.
She unbuckled his Gucci belt and tugged out his shirt tails. She smoothed her hands over his bare chest, rolling his nipples between finger and thumb. ‘I love skinny men,’ she said. ‘All those ribs. They feel like Jesus.’
She lifted him up off the cushion and pulled his shirt over his head. Then she kissed him on the forehead, three times. ‘I anoint thee. I anoint thee. I anoint thee.’
She twisted around, lifted up his legs one after the other, and took off his bright red socks. ‘You know what red socks mean? They mean you’re going to travel to hell and back.’
‘I didn’t know that.’
‘That’s because you’ve never been there.’
Next she drew down his zipper and began to work his pants down over his hips. Under his white Calvin Klein shorts he was stiffening already, but she ignored it until she had taken his pants off completely and bundled them over the back of the couch. Then she sat next to him, and gently laid her hand on his erection. She looked at him and he looked at her.
‘You’re not used to this, are you?’
‘No.’
‘It’s about time you allowed other people to take charge of you, once in a while. You can trust them, you know.’
‘What do you want from me?’
‘If I told you, you wouldn’t understand.’
‘Try me.’
She leaned forward and kissed him on the tip of the nose, and then on the lips. ‘First of all, I want you to enjoy being with me.’
‘Then what?’
‘That’ll do for now.’
Without explaining herself any further, she pulled down his shorts, so that his cock rose up into the air, steadily beating in time with his pulse. She took hold of it in her left hand and squeezed it hard, so that the glans turned dark purple and the opening gaped.
‘Eve was tempted by an apple,’ she said, smiling. ‘But I prefer plums.’ She stuck out her tongue and licked him all around, until his glans gleamed with her saliva. She lifted her head and stared at him, and there was still a trail of saliva connecting the tip of her tongue to his cock.
Then she ran her tongue all the way down his shaft until she reached his tight, wrinkled balls. She lifted each of them up in turn, and took them between her lips, and gently sucked them. Frank slid his fingers into her hair, but she gave an impatient little shake of her head to indicate that it was her turn first, and that all he was supposed to do was lie back and enjoy it.
She slid her tongue upward again, then opened her mouth wide and swallowed his cock so deeply that he thought it was going to choke her. She sucked him up and down, the tip of her tongue pattering, and he closed his eyes. God, what’s happening to me? In the midst of all this grief and unhappiness, bliss.
And it wasn’t just the erotic feelings that she was giving him. It was her closeness, and her flowery smell, and the fact that she was caring for him. He had never cried during love-making before, but now the tears were sliding from his eyes as he became overwhelmed with emotion. She gave him a last lingering suck, and then she sat up, still holding his cock in her left hand, her lips shining and her face bright.