Inside Straight

Tiffani nods toward the habitat. "Hey, lookie there." She points with perfect fluidity of motion, surprising Jamal, who expects to hear grinding: Rustbelt is atop the cagelike habitat, the bars now looking aged, thanks to the ace's touch. And a few yards away—still outside—an honest-to-God T Rex is distracting the lion. Wild Fox is here too.

Jamal is impressed with the thought that Rustbelt must have made a hell of a leap to reach the cage. Either that, or his touch was enough to protect him going across the electrified fence.

Jamal looks for some kind of staging area, preferably one in front of a camera crew. He can still see Rustbelt hanging from the gridwork and Wild Fox's T Rex engaging the animals. The bear roars and swipes at Rustbelt, fast and close enough to send the iron yokel sprawling. "Hey, watch it!" Rustbelt yells, his nasal Minnesota accent as annoying as a honking car. "Geez, you could hurt a guy, ya know?" Then he laughs stupidly, as if it was all just an act for the cameras. But even from fifty yards away, Jamal can see Rustbelt's hands shaking. He drops to the ground with a clang that echoes off the walls of the habitat's caves, and starts sidling between two of the domed units, tipping over fake rocks and newly planted trees. There's no obvious way in, not that Jamal can see.

What the hell.

Jamal flings himself at the electrified fence, feels the stinging spark—the total, instantaneous clench of every muscle in his body—know that can't be good. . . . smells his own flesh singeing.

Then he hits the concrete apron bordering the moat. He lies on his back, panting, twitching, the sun and sky whirling. He feels as though he's been flattened by a three-hundred-pound linebacker at full speed, or dropped from an airplane.

Come on, bounceback. . . .

How long? He's not sure. He forces himself to sit up . . . stand up. Okay, he's still in the game.

It's not impossible to jump the moat, Jamal sees. Like most American Hero hurdles, it is designed to look more challenging than it actually is. A quick leap, and he's over.

Though he slips on what proves to be dirt that is so hard it's become slick. Trying to right himself, he feels as though he's pulled a thigh muscle. Fucking idiot. The injury won't do anything but throb and slow him down. The trauma isn't severe enough to trigger a bounceback. Where's the big wild card power now?

"Hey, Rusty! Look out!" Jamal turns—atop the railing, at the opposite side of the habitat from glittering Tiffani, Wild Fox has resumed his natural form, ears and tail and all, and is alerting Rustbelt to Stuntman's approach. Jamal can't even see the iron ace, though the grunting and snorting of bear and lion are clues to his location.

Suddenly Tiffani flashes into view, still outside the railing. "Behind you, Stuntman!" she yells helpfully.

A shadow falls across Jamal. The rhino. Wham! The beast head-butts him, sending him crashing into one of the domes covering a cave. The surface of the dome is raw concrete—it's not enough for Jamal to be slammed into it, he's also scraped raw, bleeding.

And trying to avoid the rhino's feet. Miss. Miss.

Then a direct hit on his left shoulder. He can't help screaming, can't help hearing his voice echoing in the habitat.

He drags himself inside the habitat. The rhino, either satisified by the punishment it has inflicted on the intruder, or otherwise distracted, turns away, allowing Jamal to begin to bounceback.

One new sensation breaks through the pain: this cave is the worst-smelling place Jamal has been in.

He sits . . . tests his shoulder. Completely shattered, but rebuilding. He uses the time to search the interior of the cave for Jetboy. No, nothing but bear or rhino shit.

Presently he drags himself out of the cave, emerging to a clamor of voices—Wild Fox roaring in his latest animal persona, Rustbelt yelling like a drunk at a tailgate party, Art and the other producers keeping their cameras aimed. Something is going on out of his line of sight. Fine. It gives him time to search further.

He performs a flanking maneuver, putting one of the caves between him and the snorting rhino, who seems—if possible—to be growing more agitated at the presence of multiple aces in the habitat.

In the shadows Jamal sees not only the expected foliage and the odd box or barrel—presumably filled with feed—but other obstacles, including what could only be a limbo bar.

Who is that stupid production designer again? Or is this the work of the "writers" Jamal had seen lurking with the camera crews?

Maybe it's his experience on films, where the action is usually broken into pieces, but he feels a strange sensation, as if he is seeing his quest as it will appear on plasma screens days or weeks hence . . . wide-angle habitat . . . lion, bear, rhino . . . snakes in moat . . . face of Tiffani . . . Wild Fox with his ears pricked up and his tail swooshing. Cut, cut, cut!

Rustbelt kicks over a bucket of feed, starts pawing through it.

Wild Fox is in the habitat now—and he's taken the shape of the bear! Which one is the ace? Ah, the one stopping to search.

Tiffani, where's Tiffani? Got to have that eye candy, people! There she is, glittering and glowing. And to Jamal's amazement, then fury, she simply steps on the electrified wire—balancing like an acrobat as St. Elmo's Fire envelopes her harmlessly—then simply dropping to safety in the habitat.

Of course. Stuntman is flesh and blood. He gets hurt, then bounces back. Tiffani is transformed into one of the hardest substances known, a lousy conductor. A few stray volts of electricity wouldn't even curl her hair, assuming it could be curled. She shoots the camera a smile so bright that Jamal can see it from behind, the way it shines on the crew's faces.

She turns. "Get going, Stuntman!" Cut. Cut. Cut.

Then it's Rustbelt, ducking under the sweeping paw of the brown bear. (What the fuck does he think he's doing?) Cut.

Wild Fox-as-the-bear pulls apart one of the cavelike habitats and begins picking through its contents in a very fastidious, unbearlike manner. "What have we got here?" he says. Shit, does he have the Jetboy idol? Jamal wonders. Am I screwed? Cut.

Then Jamal himself, Stuntman, is suddenly face-to-face with a lion. For one fraction of a second, he wants to laugh at the image . . . black man with a lion! Like some black-and-white jungle movie.

He's been electrocuted and stomped. He can't handle being slashed. Gotta go, gotta move. Make it more like the football field: run, spin, stop, reverse.

His bad leg slows him as he tries to clear a casing that covers pipes and a faucet. Wham! Jamal hits again, not hard by Stuntman standards, but enough to knock his wind out.

Tiffani screams at the lion, causing the beast to turn—it freaks out, if a lion can freak out—at the sight of her.

Under the tipped casing, Jamal sees the damned idol, Jetboy, lying on his back. He rolls so he can crawl toward it. . . .

Zap. He can't fucking do it! That grid in the habitat floor—it's some kind of nonlethal weapon, a wireless taser, slowing him down! Reach, crawl, reach. . . .

"Hey, Rusty!" He can hear Wild Fox.

Where? Jamal turns away from the glittery idol—still out of reach—can't see either Wild Fox or Rustbelt—no Tiffani, either. But they must be closing in. Three camera crews are scrambling closer.

Then there are the animals. He can smell them. . . .

Boom! Here comes Drummer Boy, all arms and attitude, yelping as he hits the taser field, but snatching Jetboy out from under the casing before Jamal is within five feet of the thing. "Tough luck, superstar!"

Not Drummer Boy: Wild Fox! As he turns, Jamal reaches out, finds his tail. He can't see it, but it's there. He gives it a yank, and "Drummer" loses his balance, turns back into Wild Fox . . . and sits down in a pile of bear shit. He hits hard and loses the idol.