Just . . . I love you.
I love you, Toni.
That has to be enough. I love you. Desperately. Unconditionally. Forever.
Resigned. Well, this obviously isn’t working. I give up.
Clutching his little notes to her chest, she allowed tears to stream down her cheeks. Tears of happiness—he hadn’t cheated on her. Tears of exhilaration—he truly loved her. Tears of empathy—the poor guy had been completely miserable all day. Her cellphone was still over an hour away in Seattle, and unfortunately she didn’t have his number memorized. How could she reach him?
“Well?” Grandma asked.
Blurry-eyed, Toni spun around, still clutching Logan’s notes. “He loves me.”
Grandma smiled. “In that desperate I’ll-die-if-I-can’t-touch-you kind of way or the more settled I-can’t-notice-anything-but-your-absence-when-you’re-gone kind of way?”
“Both, I think.”
“Lucky you. So you’re going to forgive him and make amends?”
Toni choked on a laugh. “He didn’t do anything wrong to begin with. It was just a misunderstanding. But yes, I’d forgive him. I’d probably forgive him anything. Just don’t tell him that.”
Grandma patted Toni’s shoulder. “I guess you’d better call him and let him off the hook. Unless you think you need more flowers.” She glanced around the room at the abundance of blooms.
“I have more than enough flowers, but I left my phone at the office.” Toni gnawed on her lip, trying to decide on her best plan of action.
“Is your mother still there? Maybe she can bring it home with her.”
“Good idea!” She was still upset with her mother, but Toni was desperate enough to ask her for a favor.
“You just caught me on my way out,” Mom said via her office line. “I’ll bring it with me.”
“Thanks.”
“But wouldn’t it make more sense if I looked his number up in your contacts and read it to you? Just give me your pass code.”
Toni almost jumped on that idea, but remembered that Logan had recently changed his icon to an X-rated close-up of his cock, and she didn’t want her mother to get an eyeful of that.
“Uh . . .” She nibbled a fingernail. “No, that’s okay. Just bring it home. I don’t need it that desperately.” She cringed at her total lie.
“By the way, I’ve set up some home viewings for tomorrow,” Mom said, turning Toni’s moment of jubilation to bitterness. “I’d like you and Birdie to come with me to look at condos.”
Condos? Oh God, no.
“I might be busy,” Toni said. Actually, she would make it a priority to be too busy to view condos, no matter if she ended up hurrying off to Logan or not.
Toni frowned as she turned to help Grandma put the finishing touches on dinner.
“She’s not bringing it?” Grandma asked.
“She is,” Toni said.
“Then why so glum?”
Toni glanced toward the stairs, no wanting Birdie to overhear. She was surprised her little sister hadn’t come down to greet her. Toni supposed playing with dogs and helium balloons was far more interesting than she was.
“Mom is going to sell the farm,” Toni said in a hushed tone.
Grandma’s eyebrows shot up and she dropped her wooden spoon in the sauce, splattering red flecks on the stove. “Oh no, she’s not!”
“She needs the money to keep the business afloat. And, well, she never really liked it out here in the sticks.”
“If she’s selling, I’m buying. This is the only place I still feel connected to Phillip. And I’ve been so happy here with Birdie this past week. I thought I’d finally found a place to call home.”
“I thought you liked roaming the country with your dogs in your little RV.”
“I did,” Grandma said. “But I’m over all that. You and Birdie are the only family I have left. I don’t want to waste another moment being alone.”
Toni hugged her. “I’m so glad you’ve decided to stay, but even if we pool our money together, I don’t think we can afford to buy this place. It’s prime acreage.”
“I have money saved up, and selling the RV will bring in a little more.”
“Daddy left me some money. I’m all in. I just don’t think it’ll be enough. I’m sure we’re talking a few million dollars, Grandma.” Toni didn’t have even close to that much money and was pretty sure her grandmother wasn’t drowning in cash either.
“You could always let your boyfriend continue to think he’s in trouble and open your own flower shop.” Grandma leaned away and stared into Toni’s eyes, patting her cheek affectionately.
Toni laughed. “That might work.” She was joking of course, but there had to be a way to keep their home. She just needed time to think of a plan.
“Toni!” Birdie yelled from the kitchen doorway. “I didn’t know you was home! Come see all the balloons. Logan gave them to you. Your whole room is full of balloons. Red ones!”
“It’s time to eat dinner, Buttercup,” Toni said. “Grandma made your favorite.”
“Sketties!”
Grandma kissed Birdie’s forehead when she came within reach, and Birdie smiled brightly. It melted Toni’s heart to see such affection between them.
“Grandma says we should get a baby goat!” Birdie said.
Grandma cringed at being outed.
“That would be fun,” Toni said. “But are you prepared to take care of it? It would be your responsibility.”
“Oh yes!” Birdie carefully placed a napkin next to each plate on the table. “I saw a gray baby goat on Ameridas Funnest Home Videos. I want a gray one.” She continued to jabber about gray baby goats for several minutes. “Can we go upstairs to show you the balloons now?”
“How about after we eat?” Toni had nothing better to do while she waited the hour it would take her mom to get home with her phone.
“Balloons, balloons, balloons, balloons,” Birdie intoned as she placed silverware on the table. “Toni has balloons. Balloons. Balloons. Balloons.”
“Why don’t you go see your balloons so she’ll stop fixating?” Grandma suggested. “I can finish up here.”
So Grandma already understood how Birdie tended to fixate on one detail with infallible concentration. Toni wished Grandma had come to stay with them ages ago. Then Toni might have been able to build a more far-reaching life for herself without the constant guilt.
“All right,” Toni said. “I’ll go see the balloons.”
“Yay!” Birdie grabbed her hand and yanked her toward the stairs.
The entire vaulted ceiling of Toni’s large bedroom was completely concealed by red balloons. Just the sight made her smile. Remembering the last time she’d been given red balloons made her ache with longing for the man behind the gesture. The two Pomeranians jumping in the air trying to grab the dangling strings made her laugh. Her laughter died when she noticed a familiar, presumed-lost journal lying on her bed. How in the hell had her diary gotten here?
Toni darted across the room and lifted the pink journal from her pale green coverlet. Thumbing through the pages, there was no doubt it was the same journal she’d been writing in while on tour with Exodus End. The final entry was dated May 8 and the remaining pages were blank.
“I tried to read your book, Toni, but it was too much squiggles. I can’t tell what it says. So I gave it back.”
Toni turned to stare at her sister in disbelief. Birdie had taken her journal? If that was true, how had the tabloid gotten hold of the band’s personal information?
“Where did you get this, Birdie?”
“I found it in your bag at Denver and I hide it in my pocket. Are you mad I taked it?”
“You shouldn’t take things without asking first.”
Birdie frowned. “I sorry. I thought it was a princess story ’cause it’s pink.”
“I’m not mad. Just ask next time you want to borrow something, okay?”