“Pete wants us to work for his catering business,” her mom said. “You remember Pete.”
“We went to school together,” her dad reminded Harley. “He wants us to run the shop. Your mom will be cooking.”
“I’m so excited,” her mom said. “There’s a lovely apartment over the catering shop. Lots of windows. It’s part of the agreement, which makes it free. We just told Skye, and she’s talking about coming, too, maybe transferring to a school down there.”
“It means no rent,” her father said quietly, his eyes meeting Harley’s, making her breath catch.
They were leaving the place they loved, for her. So she wouldn’t have to help them anymore, so she could get on with her own life. Her throat tightened. “Dad-”
Her father covered her hand with one of his. It was big, warm, and callused from years of hard work. He gently squeezed her fingers. “It’s a good thing, Harl. For all of us.”
Her mom’s smile was warm, her eyes wet. “You’ll come visit. We’ll have room for you. And for Skye. We’ll be able to meet our own bills every month.”
“Mom. Dad.” She looked into their faces, needing to see a sign that it is what they really wanted, not something they felt they had to do. “I’ve never minded helping you. I don’t want you to leave just because-”
“Not just because.” Her father hugged her. “It’s not just about us being a burden to you. It’s that it’ll give us back our lives. And more importantly, give you yours. You’ll be able to finish your internship.”
“Then you’ll go off to Colorado,” her mom said, beaming, “and become that big, fancy research biologist. You’ll be the first Stephens to have a real job, an important job. But most importantly, you’ll be free to do as you want.”
Harley swallowed hard. Right. Freedom to do something she loved. She’d lined it up, and it was in sight. The job. The big move. The life she’d dreamed of.
Except…
She squeezed her eyes shut and voiced the thought that had been haunting her for days. “What if I’m no longer sure?”
“Oh, honey.” Her mom stroked her hair. “If there’s one thing you’ve always been, it’s strong as hell; mind, body and spirit. You’re sure what you want. All you have to do is admit it.”
Harley thought about those last words as she wandered through the party. Did she know what she wanted? Did she really know?
She headed for the food spread out on a huge table in the living room, figuring that might help. She was trying to balance a full plate and a full drink when a hand reached out to help her.
Nolan.
Though she’d worked at his garage twice in the past few days, he hadn’t been there either time, having been at a business conference in South Shore. They hadn’t spoken since she’d tried to kiss him and failed miserably. “Hey,” she said softly.
“Hey right back at you.” He lightly tugged at a strand of hair. “You caught me all up at the garage. Thanks.”
She hadn’t been sure he’d even want her there. “I didn’t know if you-if I-” She let out a breath. “If you don’t want me there anymore, I’ll understand. I-”
“Harley.”
She forced herself to stop talking and breathe.
“The job is yours as long as you want it,” he said.
Relief and guilt swirled in her gut, and she set her plate down, suddenly not hungry. “I don’t know how to do this, Nolan.”
“How to be friends? That’s easy enough. We call and say hi just because. We go out to lunch. We talk, smile…” He touched the corner of her serious mouth.
She blew out a breath. “You’re going to make this easy on me.”
“On both of us,” he agreed. He took her drink and set it down. “Now come on. This is my favorite song. Maybe we’re not going to be kissing, but we sure as hell can be dancing.”
They danced for three songs, and when Harley spun off the makeshift dance floor and grabbed a soda, still smiling, she nearly plowed right into TJ.
He was wearing jeans and a soft, black sweater with the sleeves shoved up his forearms, looking big and bad and sexy as ever, and…
And she wished that she’d waited a few more days before taking a stand to protect her heart. She could have been with him, could have spent a few long, very hot nights together, and it would have given her memories for a lifetime.
But it was too late for regrets. They’d both made choices that were taking them away from there and from each other. His choices were far more temporary than hers, and he’d probably always be back, but never to stay.
As for her, well if she was having doubts about leaving, she’d face those without letting him complicate things.
He held out an envelope.
Her paycheck for the kayak trip, which was just about double what she’d expected. She gaped at the total. “TJ, it’s too much.”
“No, it’s not.” His warm but fathomless gaze met hers. “It’s your cut of what we made. Your disk with all the pictures was a huge success. I have no idea why none of us ever thought of having a photographer around sooner. You made that trip a success, Harley. I wish you’d go on more. I think you know that.” His smile held things that only made her cracked heart ache all the more. Her resolve about handling it the way she had took a further hit when he tilted his head toward the door, silently asking if she wanted to go outside.
He opened the door for her and lightly touched her back as he guided her down the porch steps. By silent, tacit agreement, they walked around the side of the house to stand at the top of the bluff at the end of the yard. They were surrounded by a 360-degree vista of sharp, rugged mountain peaks that Harley never got tired of looking at. The moon was high, casting the landscape in that iridescent pale blue glow she loved so much.
They stood there and just watched the night. Or she did. She was looking at the silhouette of the mountains and he was looking at her. “You’re staring,” she finally said.
“Yeah. You’re so goddamn beautiful you make it hard to breathe.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t…make my knees wobble.” She pressed her fingers to her eyes, then dropped her hands and turned to him. “I realize my change of heart must seem sudden and ridiculous given the mixed…sexual messages I’ve sent you over the past few weeks, first at Desolation, and then in my house. And then, um, on the river as well.” For two nights running, thank you very much.
He arched a brow at the list of places where they’d gotten quite intimately acquainted with each other’s body parts. “You forgot the closet.”
“Right, the closet.” As if she’d really forgotten. She’d never forget any of it. Chances were those memories were going to highlight her sexual fantasies for years to come. “My point is…”
“You’re done. You’re over it.”
“It’s not that.” As if she could be over it, over him. “It’s that I can’t play anymore.”
“What does that mean?”
She stared up at the inky black sky, littered with stars sparkling like diamonds as far as she could see. All her life this wide, huge, gorgeous sky had given her escape and peace, and she wondered where she’d find that escape and peace once she left there. Wondered if Colorado would fulfill her the same way. “I should have stuck with my instincts, that I’m not cut out for this. If I’m going to leave here, I have to go with my head and heart clear.” Although it was probably already too late for that.
“I know,” he said very quietly. “You can’t let an old crush get in the way of your dream.”
She felt her throat tighten. “You’re more than some old crush, TJ.”
His eyes looked dark, so very dark.
“You are,” she whispered. For so many years, she’d thought of him as big and bad and impenetrable. Invulnerable. But in fact, he wasn’t a superhero. He could be hurt. She’d managed that. She hadn’t expected to be able to, and the ache in her chest spread. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have started something I couldn’t finish.”