Tom smiled, as best he could with his snout, at their jubilation and asked “What’s the occasion?”
“HE screwed up, so I got mine, that’s what!” Boggy shouted, a trifle drunkenly.
“He killed his accursed master! That’s what!” shouted Tizzy.
“You what?” asked Tom, shocked into sitting up straight in his chair.
“Actually, I redistributed his body parts,” answered Boggy.
“True, oh, true,” laughed Tizzy.
“Yes, you see, he was always so uppity and all, but concerned about his family and their future well being... he even had this will and all in a lock box at a bank, in order to take care of his bratty grown kids.”
“Who are obnoxious merchant types now,” interjected Tizzy.
“Yes, well anyway, to make sure that the future generations were well provided for, I took the liberty of ensuring that the family jewels were placed in the lock box also.”
“The family jewels...” Tom said, at first not understanding, but then grimacing in sympathetic pain, when he realized what Boggy meant.
“’Course, I do have to admit, he was a bit upset when I took them. Screamed most horrendously at me. It was then, of course, that I realized how much his wife would miss that screaming of his after I killed him, so I took his tongue and gave it to her. Unfortunately, she was busy at the time so I just had to leave it... in the stew. Naturally, by this time, he was a little bit mad at me and just hung there by his toenails glaring at me. This, of course, kind of discomforted me to see him leering so. Thus I plucked out his right eye and ate it, while his left eye watched. The worst part was that I hadn’t thought, and had ripped his tongue out too soon, so all he could do was gurgle at me.”
“Enough, please!” Tom was getting sick to his stomach.
Boggy didn’t seem to hear, obviously relishing his recounting of his triumph. “I have to admit, by the time I’d plucked all the hair from his body and pulled his fingers and toes off, I was getting a bit bored. So, apparently, was he, he started to nod off from time to time. He probably thought that I’d think he was passing out from pain; but I knew, he was just bored and falling asleep. So naturally I clubbed him over the head a couple times with his right arm. I would have used a leg, since it makes a much better club, but by this point the legs were broken in so many places that they were just too limp to use effectively as clubs. After all the beating I had to do to get him awake again, I realized he really didn’t have the heart for this sort of thing... so I ripped his out.
“Well by now I was about to leave, when who should enter, but the old man’s fat pig son, who was a truly avaricious banker. Strangely, he seemed to be a bit shocked by the state his father was in. It was then when I remembered the conscientious and stingy nature of the master, in always wanting to keep everything in the family. So thinking quick, I grabbed the son and sat him down. I then, of course, proceeded to make amends by serving him dinner. The main course being the remains of his father. Admittedly, he was a bit hesitant at eating this delectable meal... but when I pointed out that if he didn’t eat everything on his plate... he might grow up to be just like his father... in about two minutes... he readily cleaned his plate.”
At this point Tom was in the corner puking his lunch out.. which, since he hadn’t eaten anything in the last week or so, shouldn’t have been much; however, from who knows where he was able to vomit some truly obnoxious green and orange bile. Finally, Tom’s puking seemed to come to Boggy’s notice and he shut up and went over to where Tom was heaving. “What’s the matter, my boy?” asked Boggy, concerned.
“How could you do such a thing?” Tom asked in disbelief.
“Well, I may not be as strong as you... but I’m still pretty damn strong, It really is no problem to rip a human apart, they are really quite fragile,” answered Boggy in his apparently inebriated state.
“No, no you fool. The boy means, why would you do such a thing,” corrected Tizzy.
“Oh,” Boggy responded, understanding now. “Why, for the best reason of all... REVENGE! I had served that S.O.B for eighty years and his master before him for ninety two. Not to mention his master’s father for seventy six years. Not once in all that time did I ever get a single thank you! All I ever got was abuse. Never could I seem to please any of those jackasses, all I could do was screw up... and then they’d punish me. During that period of two hundred and forty eight years, four months, two weeks, five days, thirteen hours, twenty seven minutes and four point oh-one-three-four-nine seconds, I received two hundred and seven Dalton’s Demon Darts, three hundred and fifty two Wargol’s Wracking Wrenches, one hundred and thirty six Sargum’s Soul Slicer’s, four hundred and seventy Spirit Wracks, three hundred and thirteen Davalon’s Degradations, as well as six hundred and forty nine miscellaneous tortures. Each of which hurt me as much as anything I did to him today.
“Now, you tell me if he didn’t deserve everything he got and more!” Boggy exclaimed passionately.
“I don’t know... maybe... it’s just so horrible all the things you did to him,” Tom complained.
“Oh, and the tortures he put me through, were any better... let me tell you, some of those things were visual and physical as well as spiritual. Believe me, anything he got... HE DESERVED!
“However,” Boggy finally said, calming down to normal level. “I understand how you feel. You are new, I suppose I would have felt just like you, when I was new. It’s just after so many centuries of pain and suffering, you just have to say... enough is enough. Thus when you get the chance to stop it for a while... you take it. And although from a human point of view, maybe this vengeance is petty and morally wrong, regardless of what they did to me. But nonetheless, it felt good. And I really don’t care what anyone else says, they haven’t been in my position, so they can’t know that they wouldn’t act the exact same way in the same situation.”
“I guess, I’m sorry... it just... I don’t know...”
“I do though... you just feel rather squeamish about the whole thing.”
“Yeah, well I mean I used to get a thrill out of watching that sort of thing in horror and slasher-type movies, but now, your describing that sort of thing seems worse.”
“That’s because it’s real. Even though you didn’t have to see it happen, this time you know it was real and not just theatrics. Look, it’s not like I enjoy going around and doing this sort of thing, I don’t. Except in certain well deserving cases, like this one. Actually it’s the first time I’ve ever done this. The first time I killed my master, I just beat him over the head with an ax and left him.”
“I guess I’m really not much better; after all, I killed that soldier in the woods, the dragon, the third order demon on the field and lightning bolted another demon. It’s just that then it was a fight, I don’t think I could kill someone in cold blood.”
“Well, my lad, that may be, and that’s probably for the best. Remember this however; if you ever want your freedom, nine times out of ten you’ll have to kill all those Astlanians who know your name. Very seldom do they die on their own, at least not without passing on your slavery to some other master.”
“Is that the way it always is?”
“Pretty much... oh, according to legend there might be other ways, but I’ve never actually heard of any.”