“Greetings, fellow comrade in eternal servitude!” The fellow shouted. “It appears you gave somebody a good fight, or maybe fright!” The little demon flew up to the ledge; Tom stepped back for him to land; only at the last minute did he realize it might not be a good idea to let a demon land on the ledge with him.
The little demon landed and effortlessly stuck out a hand with a slight bow. “How do you do? Bogsworth’s the name; however the local chaps call me Boggy!” Tom shook the little demon’s hand being careful not to crush it.
“Uh... Tom.” Tom responded.
“So Uh Tom, you just get here?” Boggy asked. A loud buzzing sound came from above them.
“You know he did! I told you the moment he popped up.” The shrill voice said angrily, or at least Tom thought it was angry. “You can smell the Mana just dripping off him! It’s like butta!”
Tom did a double take; the shrill voice had suddenly changed in midstream to sound exactly like a yenta from Queens. He glanced up to see a very bizarre demon. This demon was sort of splotchy greenish and flying with his stomach to the ground; he had four arms and four legs, all mostly human looking; just a lot of them. He also had two sets of pectoral muscles, two sets of lats, and two sets of male genitals. Tom looked away quickly; he really didn’t want to explore this demon’s undercarriage. The demon also had a double set of wings, or at least Tom thought he did, they were moving very fast, like a hummingbird or something.
Boggy just chuckled. “Yes, Tizzy, you did indeed; you are correct; as always.” He shook his head and waved at the little demon with a smile. “Tom, it is my pleasure to introduce my partner, Tisdale! Or Tizzy for short!”
“Are you calling me short?” Tizzy asked waving what appeared to be a curved long stemmed old man’s pipe in his lower left hand. Boggy just rolled his eyes.
“Partner? Are you married?” Tom asked.
Boggy blinked a couple times trying to parse Tom’s question. Tisdale just burst out laughing and suddenly crashed into the side of the spire they were standing on and slid down to the ledge laughing.
Boggy was looking quote perplexed. “Uhm, partner as in business partner, associate, best friend, bosom buddies, what all?”
Tom winced, “Sorry, it’s just where I come from well... never mind...” He’d put his foot in it damn fast. It probably wasn’t a good idea to call a demon gay.
Boggy twisted his head to stare at Tisdale. “What exactly are you cackling about?”
“You. Tom apparently comes from a plane where people of the same sex can be married! He thought I was your wife!”
“Dear lord!” Boggy exclaimed.
“Sorry... I didn’t meant to...” Tom started to apologize; Tisdale started laughing some more.
Boggy shook his head and smiled. “Never mind, dear boy. No offense here; I’m just a bit of a fuddy duddy. Where I came from, such a thing was unthinkable and made absolutely no sense. But, of course, being here, when it comes to sex, pretty much anything goes. I suppose if a demon wanted to get married they could, but it’s just not something we do.”
Tizzy had climbed back to one set of feet and then launched himself back into the air with a buzz. His shape was a bit awkward to rest easily on the ledge. “So, Tom,” Tizzy asked as he rotated in mid-air to face Tom. “Do you like our little home away from not home?” He spread his hands to indicate their surroundings.
“Uhm, nice, I guess.” He didn’t want to risk insulting anyone again.
“Think so?” Tisdale asked. “I think it shits.”
“Never mind him, he thinks everything ‘shits.’” Boggy told Tom. “Actually, I think it grows on one. You get used to the flames and the adventure...”
“And it beats the HELL out of the alternatives...” Tizzy cackled. He stuck his pipe in his mouth and wiggled his eyebrows in a weird leering sort of way.
Boggy rolled his eyes again. Tim spoke up. “So where exactly is here?”
Boggy paused and tilted his head “Well now, that’s a bit hard to say...”
“Basically it’s about two planes below Astlan,” Tizzy interjected.
Boggy sighed. “Which does not tell you much if you don’t know where Astlan is, now does it.” He gave the hovering demon a glare.
“But it does if you do.” Tizzy retorted.
“Yes, but I bet Tom doesn’t know, does he?” Boggy looked inquiringly at Tom. Tom shook his head no. “See, I told you.” Boggy told Tisdale.
Tizzy pouted. “Ok, got me there.”
“Now, Tom, just exactly which plane are you from?” asked Boggy.
“I don’t know.” Tom had no idea. He was, of course, familiar with the concepts of multiple planes of existence. He had read too many fantasy and science fiction novels not to be; nonetheless, the knowledge that there actually were such planes, at least in his drug-induced hallucination, was still a bit hard to handle, although it should have been obvious, since he wasn’t on his own world. Obvious? About the only thing obvious was that he was on one serious ass trip!
“Now that makes it difficult. What did you call your world?” Asked Boggy.
“Earth.”
“Earth! It figures. Six out of ten worlds call their planet Earth,” complained Tizzy. “Might as well call it Dirt!” The hovering demon twisted his head and frowned as if thinking hard, “Hmm, why don’t they call it Dirt? Why do we call the ground beneath our feet earth rather than dirt? I mean of course, some people do call it dirt, but when being prosaic they always say earth and not dirt? Earthenware for clay pots and such, not dirtware.” He removed his pipe and closed his eyes, tapping his skull with the stem of the pipe. “Hmm, and there are Earth Elementals but not Dirt Elementals, yet on the other hand there are Dirt Devils, but those aren’t actually devils, nor demons, nor actually living creatures per se as far as I know at least. Not that I think I’ve ever saw one but... ‘’
“Ahem.” Boggy coughed, interrupting Tizzy’s stream of conscious external dialogue. Tizzy shut up and just smiled brightly at Boggy.
“Never mind then, where did you live on this Earth, what was the major world power?”
“I... lived in Harding, New Jersey; the United States was one of the major powers, along with China and I guess Russia or the former Soviet Union. But...”
“But what?”
“What does it matter to you? I mean, why would a demon be interested in that... I mean, I’m sorry but I doubt you’ve been there?”
You haven’t looked in a mirror lately have you?” asked Tizzy, laughing. “You ain’t no Apollo yourself, you know.”
“Don’t mind him, Tom. Of course, you wouldn’t know. You see none of us are exactly demons, in the sense you mean.”
“There’s only one sense, and we’re demons, yep, that’s what we’re called and that’s what we are,” contradicted Tizzy. He stuck his pipe back in his mouth. The way he waved that thing around, there couldn’t be anything in it or it would have spilled out by this point.
“Be quiet, Tizzy. He is, of course, sort of right. You see we are all demons, now, but we weren’t always. Everyone here once looked different, most were human, but not all.”
“Not all, definitely not all, and some definitely not now,” interrupted Tizzy.
“Anyway, we’ve all been snatched one way or the other from our home worlds, and forced to serve in Astlan and live here. I’m sure this is your case, right?”