I wondered for a second if there was a code amongst guy friends about pursuing ex-girlfriends. Clearly not, according to Lowe. I sighed. “I’m not his, if that’s what you mean.” Funny, but that was the first time I’d said it aloud since we broke up. I was no longer surprised by how much it hurt.
“Are you anybody’s?”
“I don’t think we’re ever anybody’s, and to believe otherwise will get you hurt.”
Lowe tipped his head in thought, his eyes strangely serious. “I think you’ll like my lyrics.”
“I can’t wait to hear you guys.”
“I warn you once you do, you’ll become a groupie.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “Sorry, I’ve never been a follower.”
“I think that’s a challenge.”
“No, it’s a fact. Take it as a challenge if you like, but you’ll find it a Sisyphean task.”
Lowe laughed so hard he drew everyone’s eyes. His were glittering. “Classics major?”
My lips twitched. “Psychology.”
That made him laugh even harder. “Really?”
“Nah. Criminal law.”
“You’re shitting me?”
“Nope.” I smiled around my beer, glad for Lowe and his distraction from Jake. My smile almost faltered when I caught Jake’s eyes, but he just gave me a tight smile and leaned his head to the side to listen to whatever Melissa was saying. Ignoring the sudden churning in my gut, I glanced over at Claudia to find her grinning happily at me, her gaze darting to Lowe pointedly. She gave me a wink, which I ignored, and laughed, turning back to Beck.
“Why are you studying law?”
“She wants to be a cop.”
This came from Jake and my head jerked to him in surprise. He was staring at me with that frown line between his eyebrows again. I hated that his answer was like a free kick to my heart. Claudia, sensing I was lost as to how to respond, answered for me. “Actually, Charley’s parents hated the idea of her being a cop so much that she compromised with a pre-law degree so she can apply to law school.”
Something sharpened in Jake’s expression as he returned his attention to me. Although I doubted anyone else understood it, I certainly did. Back when we were “us”, I’d discussed my parents’ unease at my career choice with Jake. Every time I found myself caving to them, Jake was there to bolster my resolve. In actuality I hadn’t given up on being a cop. I was compromising until I could convince my parents it was what I really wanted to do with my life. It had always been important to me to have their full support in everything I did, and I was growing more worried every day that I might not be able to persuade them to see things my way. I didn’t know how the story of my career was going to end if they didn’t jump on board soon.
To Jake it would seem like I’d given in to them completely, and that my change of heart was another thing that could be traced to his lack of presence in my life. I didn’t know how that made him feel, but I could tell it made him feel something.
“Claudia is pre-law too,” I turned to Lowe. That’s how we’d met.
“Why law school?” Beck asked her, grinning like he didn’t quite understand her.
“Because when I closed my eyes and ran my finger down the undergrad programs, it stopped on criminal law.”
And she wasn’t joking.
Beck almost choked on his beer, shaking his head at her like she was crazy.
This started off the rounds of “what’s your major?” I think every group of new college friends got this off their chests quickly so they never had to utter those banal words ever again. Jake, Beck, and Lowe were industrial engineering undergrads, Denver was doing applied mathematics, Rowena was studying English, and Melissa and Matt were history undergrads.
The guys were teasing Rowena about her major and she was taking it all in good spirit when a bearded guy came up to the band and told them it was time for their set.
Lowe winked at me as he got up. I wished him good luck. He nodded and walked off confidently, the short chain on his jeans swinging as he hopped onto the stage. Claudia shimmied closer to me with an excited smile as the guys readied themselves. The entire time I diligently ignored Jake and Melissa.
Almost simultaneously, Lowe and Beck lifted their guitar straps over their heads, followed by Denver who was their bassist, and Matt seated himself behind the drums. Only Denver and Lowe stood near mics, and Lowe’s was center stage.
I glanced around at the crowded bar and noted a lot of people about our age. Nearly half were girls who looked like cartoon lionesses, staring at Beck and Lowe like they were juicy, talking zebra steaks.
I smirked and turned back to them as the first guitar riff pulsed through the room. As Lowe began singing in a smooth, deep voice—so sexy, I’d happily replace my vibrator with it—I fell into the band’s sound. Lowe was right. I loved his lyrics. They were real, no fairy-tale bullshit, but they were also a contradiction, like he knew what he’d experienced but he couldn’t help still feel maybe there was the possibility of more out there. I’d always thought it was brave of musicians to put their souls on a track. That was even clearer to me now that I actually knew the band, and I had to admit, I was impressed.
A couple of songs into their set, Lowe sang about “being lost in the shallows” and as soon as the lyrics were out of his mouth, my gaze instantly flicked to Jake.
My breath got caught in a painful ball in my throat as my eyes met his.
He wasn’t watching the band. He was watching me.
I shuttered my gaze, ignoring the rushing of blood in my ears, and turned back to concentrate on the band. I couldn’t, though. Not even Lowe’s hot voice could distract me from Jake and the memory of us.
I squirmed uncomfortably for the rest of the set, almost grateful when Lowe murmured into the mic, “You’ve been listening to The Stolen. Thanks, and have a good night.” He smiled over at me as the crowd erupted into applause and whistles, and I smiled back, almost begging him with that look to come over and once again take my mind off Jake Caplin.
“So,” Mrs. Tate, our English teacher, switched off the television. “Now that you’ve all supposedly read the book and we’ve watched the film, I can ask what you think. We’ve not got a lot of time left, so just briefly. First thoughts?”
I looked around, waiting for a classmate to let their opinion be known. Most of the guys appeared to have fallen asleep watching the movie. Except Jake. I caught his eye as I turned my head to the right. He’d asked Nikki Wells to move from the seat across from me in the next aisle and of course she’d said yes, grinning up at him like he was the Second Coming.
I’d been on three dates with Jake, and we hung out a lot at school. Everyone thought we were together, but I still wasn’t sure. Despite the mysterious feeling of deep connection between us, I didn’t know quite how to take it that the biggest player in our class hadn’t seen fit to kiss me yet. Friday night he’d taken me out and not made so much as a move. Now, Monday morning, I’d seen what appeared to be him flirting with a senior girl at his locker. I’d walked right by him with barely a nod.
I was starting to worry the assholery of Brett Thomas and his goons was getting to Jake. They still hadn’t let up, and it wasn’t just about me. Jake’s dad, Logan, had caused some controversy opening up his law firm and poaching clients from Ed Brackett—Brett’s uncle. Ed was a fairly quiet and reserved guy, the complete opposite of his brother-in-law, so any difficulties Jake’s dad was having originated with Trenton Thomas. Rumor had it he was making “idle threats” to anyone who was thinking about taking their business from Ed to Logan Caplin.
Most of the time I loved Lanton, but sometimes I really hated living in such a small town.
I felt bad for Jake’s dad and I hated that Brett was being such a pain in Jake’s ass, but that didn’t excuse him from befuddling the hell out of me, so when Jake winked at me, I raised one very unimpressed eyebrow.