A warm, salty breeze blew in from the broken window. In the distance, she could hear the crash of the ocean swells. Moonlight shone and bounced off the dark sheet of water, casting an iridescent glow over the beach.
“I had sex with him,” she said in a low voice.
“You did what?”
She didn’t even know who said it. Both? She could hear two angry men heaving behind her.
Firm hands gripped her shoulders as Jonah turned her around to face him. “Why? Sex was not the plan, Ty. You were supposed to drug him. You were never supposed to take things that far.”
She looked away. “I slipped the drug into his drink, but he didn’t take it. I didn’t see another way, and I made provisions for that possibility.”
Mad Dog swore behind Jonah, his blue eyes flashing. “Did he force you, Ty? Did he hurt you?”
“N-no,” she stammered. “It wasn’t like that.”
Jonah directed her gaze back to him. “So what if he didn’t take the drug. Damn it, you’re a highly trained operative. Taking this guy out should have been a piece of cake. You should have never crawled into bed with him. Do you honestly think D would want you to prostitute yourself for him?”
She yanked away, tears gathering in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter what D wants. He’s done far worse for me. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him, to help him. Nothing.”
Mad Dog ran a hand through his hair, pulling it behind his neck in a ponytail. Then he let it go. “And what did you find out, Ty?”
She closed her eyes. “Nothing.”
She found herself being dragged to the couch.
“Sit,” Jonah ordered. “Then you tell us everything that happened.”
With a resigned sigh, she related the events of the night down to her escape from Eli’s apartment.
Again, Jonah swore while Mad Dog muttered under his breath.
When she finished, she chanced a look up at Jonah who regarded her thoughtfully.
“You should have aborted the mission at the first sign that things weren’t going as planned. And you damn sure shouldn’t have been climbing into bed with him. If D knew, he’d shit a brick, and you know it,” Jonah said.
“You handled the situation,” Mad Dog said quietly. “So what’s bothering you? What’s scared you so bad?”
She looked back and forth between him and Jonah, wondering if she should admit what was really bothering her. Mad Dog’s eyes narrowed, and he arched an eyebrow expectantly.
“I enjoyed it. The sex, I mean,” she said uncomfortably.
Those words shouldn’t hurt so much to say. They shouldn’t have such power over her. Shouldn’t bring back such painful memories or highlight in stark clarity that she’d never had sex for the sake of enjoyment. No, sex was painful, dirty and shameful.
Jonah heaved a deep breath and looked upward in resignation. His hand rose as he motioned to Mad Dog. “This is your department,” he muttered as he backed away.
It might have been funny in another instance. Jonah always left the girly stuff to Mad Dog. Patience and understanding weren’t Jonah’s strong points. Tyana still remembered the birds and the bees talks that Jonah had pawned off on Mad Dog as she had gotten older. Mad Dog had dealt with Tyana’s first period. She was a late bloomer in that regard, and Damiano had been as clueless as she was when it came to the natural nuances of growing up.
Mad Dog had handled it with an ease that to this day she was grateful for.
“I’ll be outside,” Jonah said as he headed toward the door.
Tyana sighed and glanced unhappily up at Mad Dog. She didn’t want to have this conversation. She’d much prefer him to go away and leave her to brood alone.
Mad Dog knelt in front of the couch and gently cupped her chin in his hand. It was so easy to remember all the times before, when she and D were so young and Mad Dog had soothed their fears and nightmares.
“Did he hurt you?” he asked.
She slowly shook her head.
“Ty, it’s okay to have enjoyed it. I’m guessing he had a pretty good time too.”
Her cheeks tightened uncomfortably.
“Sex is supposed to be enjoyed. You’re not a little girl anymore. Those bastards can’t hurt you. No one will ever hurt you while me or the others are around. Do you understand that?”
“It scared me,” she admitted. “I lost it. For a moment…” She gulped, not wanting to relate just what had happened in that moment.
“For a moment what?” he prompted.
She looked down, shame crawling up her spine. “For a moment I forgot all about D, about why I was there, what I was after.”
He chuckled softly and nudged her chin upward. “That’s what good sex does.”
“I don’t know what to do,” she said miserably. “I acted like some green moron on her first mission. I can’t afford it to happen again.”
“It won’t happen again, because you’re not going anywhere near him,” he said pointedly.
“I have to go, Mad Dog. D can’t hold out much longer. I won’t lose him,” she said fiercely. “And Eli was stable. I saw him. He shifted right in front of me. He even had clothes. How could he have conjured clothes? He obviously has great control over his abilities which proves there has to be a way to help D.”
Mad Dog gave her a look so full of love and sympathy she flinched. “Ty, when are you going to stop punishing yourself?” he asked softly. “What happened to you and D wasn’t your fault. The things that happened to him weren’t your fault. You can’t spend your life trying to make up for things that were out of your control.”
“I can’t forget that he gave up so much to protect me,” she whispered.
He stood and gently pulled Tyana up in front of him. Then he folded her into his arms and held her against his strong chest.
“You have to stop blaming yourself,” he said quietly against her hair. “D doesn’t blame you. Neither should you.”
Before she could muster a response, he pulled away from her and brushed his thumb across her cheek.
“You should head on to bed and get some rest. You’re running on empty.”
She nodded and turned away. She could feel his gaze as she walked out of the game room, knew he would be watching her closely over the next few days, if not weeks.
As she stepped out the door, Jonah straightened from his position against the wall.
She tensed and waited.
“We need to get something straight, Ty,” he said with no preamble. “I’m pulling rank. Not as FMG leader, but as your brother. You know and I know there isn’t an assignment you can’t handle. I trust you implicitly. But as your brother, I’m shutting you down. You aren’t going anywhere near Eli Chance again. Are we clear? I’ll tie you to your bed if I have to, and you know I’m not bullshitting you. We’ll find another way to help D.”
Tyana stiffened. She wanted to scream. She wanted to lash out at Jonah. She wanted to cry. But she did none of those things. She stood there rigidly, hands balled into fists at her sides.
They stared at each other for a long moment. Finally Jonah broke the awkward silence.
“Are you okay?” he asked, and she knew he was referring to her conversation with Mad Dog.
She nodded. “Yeah, I’m cool. Heading up to bed.”
He looked as if he wanted to say something further, but he nodded and walked back into the game room where no doubt he and Mad Dog would have a long talk about her discussion with Mad Dog. She cringed.
She’d always been treated as one of the guys, but now they were going to see her as a vulnerable sister. Just another girl who needed their overbearing protection. She should have just kept her damn mouth shut and lied through her teeth.
Emitting a disgusted sigh, she trudged up the stairs toward her room. When she got to D’s door, she paused before sliding her hand over the knob.