The longer she stared at Holly, the more Nicole saw a part of herself in the young girl. From the very beginning, she’d been drawn to Holly, the need to protect her strong because she knew what the girl was going through.
All too well, Nicole understood the pain of Holly’s situation-of once being Sloane’s “it” girl, of being asked to do unmentionable things with other men, then being cast off for someone younger and prettier. Mark Reeves had been older and charming-a man who knew all the right words to make a girl’s heart beat faster. Yet beneath all that charisma had been a selfish, egotistical player who had no qualms about using his female students for his own sexual gratification.
She’d fallen in love with Mark quickly and completely, and had been willing to do anything to make him happy, to make sure he loved her, and only her. To the point that she’d done degrading, humiliating things because she’d been just as obsessed with Mark as Holly was with Preston. Her entire world had revolved around her professor, to the exclusion of everything else.
A shiver rippled down her spine, and the chill of a deep-seated fear touched her heart. After Mark, she’d deliberately spent years in casual relationships, keeping her emotions out of the equation while embracing her independence and working toward building her career as a journalist. She’d learned the difficult lesson that giving any man control over her emotions was the most painful, self-destructive thing she’d ever done.
She’d only known Nathan a few weeks, yet already she couldn’t get enough of him. Her strong feelings for him were crossing all those emotional boundaries she’d set for herself, the ones she’d erected to protect her heart and everything else that was important to her.
An onslaught of doubts swept through her, forcing her to question whether her emotions toward Nathan were even real, or if he was nothing more than an obsession, a result of their close proximity over the past few weeks. Was she about to repeat the pattern of her past and risk losing her identity as a journalist and as a woman? And what price would she pay to love Nathan, knowing he could walk away at any given moment?
She feared the answer.
Oh, God . She pressed her fingers to her lips as she looked down at Holly, a clear-cut reminder of what giving her heart and soul to someone could reduce her to. And that’s when Nicole knew she just didn’t have it in her to take that risk with Nathan, because she’d never be able to survive the heartbreak of losing him.
Nicole had to make a choice, and she knew which one it had to be. She couldn’t lose focus as a woman or as a reporter, not when she was on the cusp of something huge with her career. She was about to get the big breakout story on Sloane after all, and she was confident that the exclusive would open up myriad opportunities for her. The kind that would require dedication and commitment to her job. She needed to remain true to herself this time, making the choice to leave before it was made for her. Or before she did something stupid in the name of love.
It was time to end things between them. She knew saying good-bye was going to hurt, that she would miss so many things about Nathan. But she knew it was much easier to shut the door on someone else than have it shut on her. Their story was done. It was time for her to move on and heal.
A soft knock on the door startled Nicole out of her troubling thoughts, and she glanced from Holly to Valerie, who stood just inside the bedroom.
“I heard you two talking in here a while ago and thought I’d give you a break,” the other woman said, her gaze compassionate. Then, in a lower voice, she said, “Nathan is waiting to talk to you in the other room.”
“Thanks,” Nicole said, even though she had no intention of having a long, drawn-out conversation with Nathan about them.
Nathan wanted to talk, but for her, there was nothing left to discuss.
Nathan glanced up from the information he and Caleb were reviewing on his laptop as Nicole entered the living room. He was quick to notice she avoided eye contact with him-not that he was surprised. Everything about her body language told him that sometime in the past six hours she’d spent by Holly’s bedside, she’d erected emotional barriers and was already closing herself off to him… and anything between them beyond this case.
Last night, she’d changed from her jester costume to a large T-shirt and a pair of drawstring shorts Caleb had given her to wear. She’d scrubbed her face clean, and except for the dark circles beneath her eyes, she appeared like a young girl herself. She also looked worn out, and he knew her exhaustion was both emotional and physical.
For now, he’d let business take precedence.
She stood across the room from where Nathan and Caleb were sitting on the sofa. “I found out from Holly that her mother and father aren’t together, and she lived with her mother before running away.”
“We know,” Nathan said. “We have a full background report on her. She’s listed as a runaway, and she’s only fifteen years old, which helps us finally nail Sloane. We contacted her mother about an hour ago to let her know we have Holly.”
A troubled look passed across Nicole’s features. “How did her mother react?”
“She was shocked and happy her daughter was alive and okay.” A normal response in Nathan’s opinion. “Why?”
She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. “Because the two of them didn’t have a great relationship. According to Holly, her mother spent more time with her various boyfriends than with her.”
Nathan sensed where Nicole was heading with her comments, and knew he had to get her to start cutting those emotional ties to Holly, despite whatever the girl’s family relationships had been. “Her mother is on her way from California to pick her up. She should be here in a few hours.” He said softly, “You need to let it go, Nicole.”
The concern in her eyes shone bright. “I just don’t want to take her out of one bad situation and place her in another. She might be better off with her father, even though he’s stationed in Germany.”
“It’s not our choice to make,” Caleb cut in, not bothering to temper the bluntness of his words. For him, this was a cut-and-dried situation, and while Nathan knew that deep inside Caleb was sympathetic, his boss handled all his cases objectively.
“I’ll be taking Holly to The Onyx with me. Valerie will stay with her until her mother arrives,” Caleb continued, making it clear this was the end of Nicole’s involvement with the girl. “We’ll probably hold Holly at the hotel for a few days so the FBI can talk to her and everything gets straightened out. Then she’ll be released to her mother’s custody.”
“Okay,” Nicole said, though the stunned look on her face told Nathan she wasn’t dealing well with the brusque way Caleb was handling the situation. She was having difficulty separating herself from Holly and accepting that her part in the case was done.
Caleb stood and crossed the room to Nicole, extending his hand to shake hers. “I want to thank you for your help,” he said, the sentiment genuine. “We appreciate everything you’ve done to help get Angela back to her parents, and we’ll handle everything else from here.”
Nathan winced inwardly. Caleb’s words sounded like a cool dismissal. But Nathan knew how his boss operated and he was treating Nicole, and the success of the mission, in a professional manner. In Caleb’s mind, he’d already moved on to the investigative part of the case and the feds’ involvement to take down Sloane.
Caleb headed into the kitchen, leaving Nathan alone with Nicole. He stood up, more than a little tired himself. He’d stayed up all night with Caleb working on the case. They desperately needed a break before the shit really hit the fan with Sloane, and he also needed to get Nicole somewhere safe. After discussing the options with Caleb, they’d both agreed she’d be secure in her apartment until everything was resolved, since Sloane didn’t know who she was.