It was Aelfred, of course. The big man looked bedraggled, Teldin noted immediately: short hair in disarray, face pale, and the skin below his eyes puffy. He might have slept, but it certainly hadn't been enough. "Yes?" he said, his voice still a sleep-roughened burr.
The warrior's quick eyes took in the scene-both Teldin and Estriss standing, tense, in the middle of the room-and his face lit up with interest. "Oh ho" he rumbled. "Having a deep little discussion, are we? Any more surprises for us, Teldin, old son?"
We wish you to witness something. Estriss's mental voice was calm, reassuring. We think you should be aware of it. The illithid turned to Teldin. Do it as quickly as you can, the creature instructed. As part of the test.
Teldin nodded and closed his eyes again.
He could tell immediately that it was going to be much easier this time. A detailed vision of his own face sprang to mind instantly-almost as though it had been there all along, just waiting for him to need it. Whose should be the other race? he wondered.
He wasn't even aware that he'd decided until the image appealed in his mind. He let the new face superimpose itself over his own….
"By all the gods… !" Aelfred's voice was hushed, amazed-horrified?
Teldin opened his eyes. Another familiar face was staring back at him from the mirror-one with tight-curled brown hair and dark, flashing eyes. Teldin reached up with his hand and touched the cheek of Dana, the gnome. I can't bring you back, he thought, but if I can learn enough about my burden that it won't claim any more innocent lives, as it claimed yours, at least that'll be something. He turned Dana's eyes on Aelfred.
The burly warrior was staring in open stupefaction. He blinked his eyes hard, as if to clear them, then he shook his head. "I don't believe it," he said flatly. "I out and out don't believe it. Teldin, this is your doing?" He instantly answered his own question. "Of course it is-who else's?" He shook his head again, then his face suddenly split in its familiar asymmetrical grin. "By the gods," he roared, "I can think of some situations where I wish I could have done that."
Estriss kept his white eyes fixed on Teldin. That was considerably faster than the first time, he announced. This change took perhaps ten seconds, the first almost a minute. How do you feel?
"Well," Teldin started… and stopped. When he'd worn Aelfred's face, he hadn't consciously noticed the fact that his voice was unchanged. Now, though, his male voice was coming from Dana's female lips. Until that moment, the fascination-and the personal fear-of what he was doing had filled his mind. The initial shock had faded, however, and the consequences of what he was doing really began to penetrate.
This is wrong, he found himself thinking, very wrong. He shut his eyes and melted away Dana's features as quickly as he could. He checked the mirror. Yes, he was Teldin again. A little shakily, he sat down on the illithid's bare bunk.
Estriss was watching him fixedly. What is wrong? he asked. Was there pain? Exhaustion?
"No," Teldin mumbled. "No, none of that."
The cold you felt the first time, was it repeated? More intense, or less?
"What? Oh, less. Much less."
How do you feel now? Are you more tired than you were before?
"A little. Not much."
The illithid might have had another question, but Aelfred's deep voice cut him off. "What's wrong, Teldin?"
"This is," Teldin snapped. "This whole thing. Putting on somebody else's face."
Estriss's tentacles gestured incomprehension. Why? Why is this wrong?
"It is." Teldin hesitated, searching for the right words to communicate what he felt so clearly inside. "It's a lie," he tried. "I… I was brought up to value the truth, both in myself and in others. The truth. It's what I've always worked toward. It's…" Suddenly he recalled a phrase from a book his grandfather had given him years ago. " 'The truth is a light,' " he quoted, " 'a light that banisheth the shadows which beset us.' Do you understand what I'm saying? This-" his gesture included himself, the cloak, the mirror "-this is a lie."
There was silence for more than a dozen heartbeats, then Aelfred asked gently, "You probably wouldn't feel so strongly if you hadn't chosen Dana's face, would you, now?"
Good question, part of Teldin's mind responded. Would I? Probably not. He shrugged.
The experiments may have disturbed you, Estriss said firmly, but they were important and valuable. Consider what we have learned. The cloak has powers related to shapeshifting, which are now under your control. The first time you used this power, you felt the drain quite strongly, but the second time you found it much easier and the drain was considerably less. Is that not so?
Teldin had to agree.
Then you are starting to control the tendency to give up your own energy, Estriss continued. Correct? And finally… He leaned forward urgently. Finally, you have gained a great advantage over those who may be pursuing you. Do you not see that? They may be searching for a man of six feet with short brown hair. Would they spare a second glance it a woman of five feet with blond hair to her waist?
Teldin nodded slowly. That was true, but… "What if they can track the cloak itself?" he asked.
If that is the case, there is nothing you can do, but are we certain that everyone whose hand is turned against you can detect the cloak itself? It seems to me much more likely that only some few have this ability, if any. Against the others, you now have a significant advantage.
"It's one I'm not comfortable with," Teldin muttered.
Perhaps that comes from lack of focus, Estriss replied. To his surprise, Teldin sensed more emotion in the illithid's mental voice than ever before. I heard what you said about valuing what is true. For myself, I would extend that. I value what is right. How best can we, both of us, serve the right, Teldin Moore? By allowing this cloak of yours to fall into the hands of the neogi? Or by doing whatever is in our power to prevent that? I know what my answer must be.
The illithid turned away suddenly and busied itself with returning the silver mirror to the desk drawer. It was almost as if Estriss felt embarrassed by his emotional outburst, Teldin realized with surprise.
Aelfred was watching him silently, understanding in the big man's eyes. Teldin bowed his head. "You're right," Teldin said quietly. "Thank you for reminding me of that."
Estriss shrugged off the thanks. It is only logical, he said. What is also logical is that you should practice this ability of the cloak every day, perhaps several times each day. The drain you felt was less the second time, but it was still there.
"I don't know what in all the hells you're talking about," Aelfred rumbled, "but just on principle I back the captain. Practice. It's important." He was silent for a moment, then went on, "One thing: I don't think it's a good idea to let the rest of the crew know about any of this. I think they've accepted you as some kind of warrior-mage-" he snorted with amusement at this "-so that won't worry them, but if they don't know if the person they're on watch with is who they think it is, or it's you practicing… It's going to do something to morale, if you get my drift."
"I understand."
Aelfred slapped Teldin comradely on the arm. "Well," he said, "if you don't have any more miracles to show me, I should get back on duty. We've got some of the new inductees on the rigging, and if I don't keep an eye on them, we're just as likely to end up back at Krynn as we are at Realmspace." He grimaced. "I know it's a touchy subject, but your diminutive friend, Horvath, has threatened to oversee repairs. Scary."