“I’d like to hear about what happened there.”
Reno walked up with his hands on his hips. He looked at Gerald, then to Maya. “That was some outburst back there.”
“Yeah, well, he’s hurting.”
“Still, isn’t that why you divorced him?”
Maya turned on Reno, her cheeks flushed and a knot forming in her stomach. As if he could read her face, Reno stepped back and put his hands on top of his head, drawing in a deep breath.
“That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry.”
“Why don’t you fill Donna here in on what happened at Fort Campbell and mind your own damn business?”
Without giving Reno the chance to respond, Maya walked over to Gerald, leaving Reno and Donna standing in an awkward silence. She sat on the floor next to her ex-husband.
“I’m sorry about losing my cool out there.”
Gerald had spoken without taking his eyes off the wall.
“It’s all right. I know you’re upset. Cameron and I had become close, so I can sort of understand what you’re going through.”
“Yeah, well, I had no right to blame that on you. It wasn’t your fault.”
“You don’t have to—”
“It was his.”
Gerald twisted around and pointed at Reno, whose back was turned as he spoke with Donna.
“If he had only been more patient and allowed us to have a discussion as a group instead of insisting on leaving tonight, then we might all—”
“Then we might all be dead,” Maya said, cutting him off. “We’d have been stuck inside one of those buildings that blew up.”
“I had a plan. It would have kept our family alive.”
“We can’t change what happened. Protecting them now is all that matters to me. And I know we can only do that if we stick together. You’re hurting, I get it, but you’ve got to do your best to move on so we can stay focused and do what’s right for our kids.”
Maya stood up and brushed off her pants, blowing a wisp of hair from her face before looking down at Gerald.
“I’ll leave you to mourn, but we don’t have much time.”
Gerald scoffed, then looked at the wall again, shaking his head. Then he looked back up at Maya.
“We can’t trust Reno. You know it, and I know it.”
Maya walked away, feeling that knot in her stomach turning into doubt.
38
After her conversation with Gerald, Maya slid out a back door. She took a deep breath as the cool night air chilled the sweat on her brow. Ten feet from the door, a picnic table sat under a tree. She plopped down and put her elbows on the table, then ran her hands over her face.
Her mounting stress only made her sweat more. Her kids were her top priority, and they were supposed to be Gerald’s, as well. But she wasn’t sure if she could count on him, given his mental state. She knew that losing Cameron wasn’t easy for him. It hadn’t been easy for her, either, as she had become close to the woman. Hell, Cameron had probably become her best friend. But now she was gone, and she had died in the act of saving Maya’s life.
That thought overwhelmed her, and she let out a deep sigh.
Maya also thought that at least some of Gerald’s anger stemmed from him being wrong about Fort Campbell. Had they taken his advice and stayed there, they’d all likely be dead. And Maya had rubbed that fact into his face. She’d only been trying to knock some sense into him, but in hindsight, maybe it hadn’t been the best way to do so.
But through it all, Maya had to make the decision as to what they’d do next and where they’d go. All Reno had suggested was that they leave Fort Campbell, but he’d had no plan as to what they would do after. Of course, he’d mentioned looking for another military base or stronghold. But as they discovered at Fort Campbell, that didn’t guarantee anything.
What am I going to do?
Maya shook her head at the question, and was staring into the inky blackness when the back door opened. She turned around to see Reno walking toward her. Maya looked down at the table, to where someone with a knife had scratched “suck it” in the wood. Maya gazed at the carving, running her finger along the jagged lines instead of acknowledging Reno’s presence.
But by the time the door eased shut, Reno stood next to the picnic table with his hands in his pockets.
So much for a few minutes to myself.
“Hey.”
Maya looked up and only nodded at Reno as a response. Then she turned away from him again.
“How are you doing?”
“We’re alive, so I’m good.”
Without asking for permission, Reno took a seat across from her at the picnic table. He clasped his hands together and waited for her to finally look up at him. When she did, he was staring at her.
“I meant after all of that in there.” Reno used his chin to point at the rest stop.
“He’s upset, and rightfully so. He lost someone he loved.”
“And someone who he left behind when he went to that base in the first place.”
“He thought he was doing the right thing.”
Reno raised an eyebrow. “But do you?”
“That’s not my place to judge.”
Reno clenched one of his fists and sighed before responding. “He’s made some terrible decisions, Maya. He went and took your kids from your mom. He left his girlfriend behind, helpless and alone. And he fought us on staying at Fort Campbell. Think about what would have happened if we would have stayed.”
Maya shrugged. “What are you trying to say?”
“I don’t know how we trust him at this point.”
Maya scoffed. “I’m not going there.”
“Why not? Do you trust him?”
Maya considered the question. It was true that Gerald had gotten her into this situation in the first place. If he hadn’t gone and taken the kids from Maya’s mother’s house, then they would never have ended up in the middle of Nowhere, Kentucky.
But, on the flip side, Maya might not have found Reno again. When he’d hurt his ankle and begged Maya to leave him behind, it had been before Maya had realized her kids weren’t at her mother’s. That was one positive that had come out of a terrible situation, and he probably wasn’t thinking about that. But Maya wasn’t going to bother bringing it up.
“I know that he wouldn’t purposely do anything to hurt our kids.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
“Look, I know what you’re implying, but that isn’t an option.”
Reno stood. He turned his back to Maya and put his hands on his waist. Then he turned around and shook his head.
“He’s going to do something stupid. He’s coming unhinged. You know it. I know it. It’s not safe to have him around.”
Maya lowered her voice. “He’s the father of my children. I’ve already removed him from their everyday lives once. They’ll never forgive me if I do that again.”
“Yeah, well, they might not get the chance to if you allow him to stay with us. Because I’m telling you now, he’s going to do something stupid.”
Before Maya could respond, Reno walked back over to the door. She didn’t stop him, and he didn’t turn around again before going inside.
39
After a few minutes of solitude, Maya stood up to go back inside the rest stop. The confrontations with Gerald and Reno, though different in tone, had only been more bullshit on top of everything else that had happened within the past several hours. She hoped to go inside and get some rest now, and sleep on her next big decision.
When she re-entered the building, Donna was standing in the middle of the room with Reno and Gerald on either side of her. Everyone else stood nearby or sat on the ground against the wall. Laura and Aiden were lying down on blankets on the far side of the room.