‘Oh, my poor captain,’ says they, ‘we believe you to the nines[32]. Catch us, indeed, going within a hen’s race of that unlucky cabin!’
Well, before the sun shook his doublet next morning, Jack and his comrades were up and about[33]. They made a hearty breakfast on what was left the night beforehand then they all agreed to set off to the castle of the Lord of Dunlavin, and give him back all his gold and silver. Jack put it all in the two ends of a sack and laid it across Neddy’s back, and all took the road in their hands. Away they went, through bogs, up hills, down dales, and sometimes along the yellow high road, till they came to the hall door of the Lord of Dunlavin, and who should be there, airing his powdered head, his white stockings, and his red breeches, but the thief of a porter.
He gave a cross look to the visitors, and says he to Jack, ‘What do you want here, my fine fellow? There isn’t room for you all.’
‘We want,’ says Jack, ‘what I’m sure you haven’t to give us – and that is, common civility.’
‘Come, be off, you lazy strollers!’ says he. ‘While a cat ’ud be licking her ear, or I’ll let the dogs at you.’
‘Would you tell a body,’ says the cock that was perched on the ass’s head, ‘who was it that opened the door for the robbers the other night?’
Ah! Maybe the porter’s red face didn’t turn the colour of his frill, and the Lord of Dunlavin and his pretty daughter, that were standing at the parlour window unknownst to the porter, put out their heads.
‘I’d be glad, Barney,’ says the master, ‘to hear your answer to the gentleman with the red comb on him.’
‘Ah, my lord, don’t believe the rascal; sure I didn’t open the door to the six robbers.’
‘And how did you know there were six, you poor innocent?’ said the lord.
‘Never mind, sir,’ says Jack, ‘all your gold and silver is there in that sack, and I don’t think you will begrudge us our supper and bed after our long march from the wood of Athsalach.’
‘Begrudge, indeed! Not one of you will ever see a poor day if I can help it.’
So all were welcomed to their heart’s content, and the ass and the dog and the cock got the best posts in the farmyard, and the cat took possession of the kitchen. The lord took Jack in hand, dressed him from top to toe in broadcloth, and frills as white as snow, and turnpumps, and put a watch in his fob. When they sat down to dinner, the lady of the house said Jack had the air of a born gentleman about him, and the lord said he’d make him his steward. Jack brought his mother, and settled her comfortably near the castle, and all were as happy as you please.
The Shee an Gannon and the Gruagach Gaire
The Shee an Gannon was born in the morning, named at noon, and went in the evening to ask his daughter of the king of Erin.
‘I will give you my daughter in marriage,’ said the king of Erin; ‘you won’t get her, though, unless you go and bring me back the tidings that I want, and tell me what it is that put a stop to the laughing of the Gruagach Gaire, who before this laughed always, and laughed so loud that the whole world heard him. There are twelve iron spikes out here in the garden behind my castle. On eleven of the spikes are the heads of kings’ sons who came seeking my daughter in marriage, and all of them went away to get the knowledge I wanted. Not one was able to get it and tell me what stopped the Gruagach Gaire from laughing. I took the heads off them all when they came back without the tidings for which they went, and I’m greatly in dread that your head’ll be on the twelfth spike, for I’ll do the same to you that I did to the eleven kings’ sons unless you tell what put a stop to the laughing of the Gruagach.’
The Shee an Gannon made no answer, but left the king and pushed away to know could he find why the Gruagach was silent.
He took a glen at a step, a hill at a leap[34], and travelled all day till evening. Then he came to a house. The master of the house asked him what sort was he, and he said, ‘A young man looking for hire.’
‘Well,’ said the master of the house, ‘I was going tomorrow to look for a man to mind my cows. If you’ll work for me, you’ll have a good place, the best food a man could have to eat in this world, and a soft bed to lie on.’
The Shee an Gannon took service, and ate his supper. Then the master of the house said, ‘I am the Gruagach Gaire; now that you are my man and have eaten your supper, you’ll have a bed of silk to sleep on.’
Next morning after breakfast the Gruagach said to the Shee an Gannon, ‘Go out now and loosen my five golden cows and my bull without horns, and drive them to pasture; but when you have them out on the grass, be careful you don’t let them go near the land of the giant.’
The new cowboy drove the cattle to pasture, and when near the land of the giant, he saw it was covered with woods and surrounded by a high wall. He went up, put his back against the wall, and threw in a great stretch of it; then he went inside and threw out another great stretch of the wall, and put the five golden cows and the bull without horns on the land of the giant.
Then he climbed a tree, ate the sweet apples himself, and threw the sour ones down to the cattle of the Gruagach Gaire.
Soon a great crashing was heard in the woods – the noise of young trees bending, and old trees breaking. The cowboy looked around, and saw a five-headed giant pushing through the trees; and soon he was before him.
‘Poor miserable creature!’ said the giant. ‘But weren’t you impudent to come to my land and trouble me in this way? You’re too big for one bite, and too small for two. I don’t know what to do, but tear you to pieces.’
‘You nasty brute,’ said the cowboy, coming down to him from the tree, ‘ ’tis little I care for you;’ and then they went at each other. So great was the noise between them that there was nothing in the world but what was looking on and listening to the combat.
They fought till late in the afternoon, when the giant was getting the upper hand[35]; and then the cowboy thought that if the giant should kill him, his father and mother would never find him or set eyes on him again, and he would never get the daughter of the king of Erin. The heart in his body grew strong at this thought. He sprang on the giant, and with the first squeeze and thrust he put him to his knees in the hard ground, with the second thrust to his waist, and with the third to his shoulders.
‘I have you at last; you’re done for now!’ said the cowboy.
Then he took out his knife, cut the five heads off the giant, and when he had them off he cut out the tongues and threw the heads over the wall.
Then he put the tongues in his pocket and drove home the cattle. That evening the Gruagach couldn’t find vessels enough in all his place to hold the milk of the five golden cows.
But when the cowboy was on the way home with the cattle, the son of the king of Tisean came and took the giant’s heads and claimed the princess in marriage when the Gruagach Gaire should laugh.
After supper the cowboy would give no talk to his master, but kept his mind to himself, and went to the bed of silk to sleep[36].