“Very lapsed, I’m afraid.”
“Then you have said confession before?”
“Centuries ago.”
“See?” said Reyes. “Centuries. He’s always talking about people and things from years ago. I figured he’d have to be hundreds of years old to have done what he says he’s done. And that bullet they took from his head, that was made in 1850-something. At first I thought he was hallucinating. Brain swelling from his injuries and all that. Now I think he’s either insane or he’s possessed. That’s what I think.”
“Centuries was a figure of speech, Gabe,” said Finnegan. “The gun was a collectible antique.”
“All you do is lie.”
“Wait,” said Quang, holding up his Bible. “Gentlemen, don’t argue. Mike, would you like me to hear your confession?”
Finnegan was silent for a long moment. Hood watched his numbers settle. “Sure,” he said.
“Wonderful!” Quang turned to Reyes and Hood. “Gentlemen, we would like some priv-”
“Let them stay, Father. I have nothing to hide. I am as God made me, aren’t I?”
“In His image were you made.”
“Then I’m ready to begin.”
Quang shot a concerned glance at Reyes, and Reyes shrugged. “Mike, how long has it been since your last confession?”
“I truly don’t remember.”
“Then tell me how you have sinned.”
Finnegan said nothing for a moment. “You tell me how I have sinned.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I will explain what I do and do not do, and you can tell me what the sin is. That’s your job, isn’t it?”
“It is God’s.”
“Come on, Quang. You made it to America. Take the bull by the horns.”
“Tell me how you have sinned.”
Finnegan said nothing for a long while. Hood’s mind wandered. He pictured Bradley in his Explorer uniform, walking along the workstations inside the Pace Arms building, his expression speculative, almost dreamy. Not Bradley’s usual look. Was he haunted by the guns that would be used to kill people? Hood remembered his own surprise and anger at that moment. On what basis had he kept alive such high hopes for Bradley? Was it all a sentimental homage to his mother? He saw that Finnegan was watching him.
“I have one God and no other,” Finnegan said quietly. “I’ve never bowed down to an image or likeness of anything in heaven or earth. I do not take the name of God in vain. I remember the Sabbath unfailingly, though I don’t often get to church. Though I am lapsed, I have kept up a lively dialogue with my maker. I honor my parents, but to be honest, I don’t remember them well. I do not kill or commit adultery or steal or lie. I am not covetous. I do not entertain impure thoughts.”
Hood watched the blood pressure and pulse readouts: no change. The room was silent except for hospital sounds.
Quang stood with his hands in front of him, the good book shielding his privates. “Really, Mike?”
“Yes. Really.”
“Do you know that lies offend God?”
“I’m sure they do. But what lies do you mean?”
“Your lie of personal perfection in a fallen world.”
“Father, I make no claim to perfection or even exception among the men of the earth. Perhaps I was born without the proper passions to commit sin. Perhaps my capacity for it has been smothered within the vast and terrifying fear that I feel at times for humankind. Perhaps sin bores me. However, I do have one very strong belief that may be a sin to some people and some gods. I believe that all people are free to choose the course of their lives and their deaths, and that the sacred and the profane are ours to name, and that our law is ours to write. Your God judged me thousands of years ago, and by that judgment I stand unblinkingly. But within his commandments, I am blameless.”
“You are not what we see,” said Reyes.
Finnegan sighed. His vitals had not changed.
“Does this mean anything to you?” asked Reyes. He brought a crucifix from his coat pocket and held it up for Mike to see.
“An exorcism,” said Finnegan. “I’m tickled.”
“This is no joke,” said Reyes.
“What it means to me is aisle eight of the Mercado Toro in Boyle Heights, right beside the candles of the saints, three dollars and ninety-nine cents, made in China.”
“Maybe then you would like to see it closer.” Reyes leaned across the bed and held the crucifix before Finnegan’s steady blue eyes.
“I like the ones made of straw in Mexico. No blood. No thorns. No woeful eyes. More mystery and a hint of the transcendent.”
“Maybe you’d like to touch it.”
“Now you sound like that uncle we’ve all had.”
Reyes set the crucifix in Finnegan’s upturned right hand. Hood watched his pulse and blood pressure rise, then race. The digital readouts raced higher, then higher. The numbers were still scrolling up when the monitor buzzed loud and a nurse flew in from the station outside.
“What’s going on here?”
“We’re not sure, Kathy,” said Finnegan. “Something with the sensors again, I’d guess.”
His voice was calm, but his numbers had exhausted themselves and an ERROR/RESET message now pulsed across the monitor screen. The warning buzzer continued. Hood watched Finnegan reach the crucifix back to Father Quang.
“Thank you so much for the visit, Father. I’ve always enjoyed the presence of the faithful.”
“Mike, how do you feel?”
“Splendid.”
“You may be going into cardiac arrest.”
“Don’t be silly.”
Two more nurses squeezed into the room. One took Mike’s wrist for pulse, and the other pulled the monitor module from its stand and commenced pushing buttons. Hood watched as Kathy slid her slender hand inside the body cast below the cranial brace, feeling for the pulmonary sensor down on Finnegan’s neck. Suddenly the alarm stopped. The monitor nurse frowned down at the thing and waited a moment, then held it up for Kathy to see. From his stool, Hood read the numbers: pulse 72, blood pressure 118/66. Kathy withdrew her hand from inside the cast.
The other nurse continued to hold Mike’s wrist for another few seconds. “Pulse is normal,” she said.
“I still suspect a sensor,” said Mike.
“The sensor was drenched in sweat,” said Kathy. “But they’re made to withstand that. It happens. I don’t get it.”
“I sure love the attention,” said Mike.
Hood saw Finnegan work up a lip-only smile, his jaws still wired firm and his head still immobilized by the cranial clamps. His pupils were pinpoints, and his face was bright red and running with sweat.
“Father Quang, I’d be happy to continue this discussion at any time,” said Finnegan. His voice was calm and warm. “I might be able to come up with a sin or two I forgot about today. But next time, why don’t you confess to me? Gabe and Charlie, you two would be welcome to sit in on that session.”
Kathy herded the men into the hallway outside of the ICU, then shut the locking door behind her. Two Guardsmen patrolled past, weapons slung over their shoulders.
“He’s proud and intelligent and he’s playing with us,” said Quang. “He wants attention. He wants control.”
“He knows too much,” said Reyes.
“He’s obviously very clever,” said Quang.
“He’s more than that,” said Reyes. “He is not us. You can’t understand the world by believing that it is merely like yourself. There is more and there has always been more and not all of it is good. I can’t believe you don’t see it.” Reyes turned and limped away. Hood watched him turn right for the elevator. When he turned to Quang, the padre was looking up at him with a searching expression.
“Since the death of his granddaughter, Gabriel has not been the same,” said Quang. “She was murdered and left in the desert. Unsolved. Now Gabriel expects evil, so this is what he finds. Finding it confirms his hopes. He is still looking for someone to blame. He sits in the fifth row of St. Cecilia’s every Saturday night for mass, and his eyes burn up at me until the service ends.”