They’re keeping you from seeing the truth that’s right in front of you. How incredibly strong you are. How much you have to give. How much you mean to the people who really care about what happens to you. Like your brother. Like me.”
“War cares about me.” My eyes burned at his harsh words. I recognized the truth in them. It had me digging my fingernails into my clenched palms. But his declaration was too little and too late. War was the safer choice, the wiser choice. I’d taken a risk on Bryan before and look at the downward plunge my life had taken afterward. “It’s really admirable how loyal you are to him, and you’ve been a good friend to me, too.” I peered up at him through my lashes. “That is, when I remember to keep my distance, but that’s hard to do. I guess there’ll be a little part of me that’s always going to be in love with you.” I sighed. “I don’t think anyone ever gets over their first.”
“Lace, don’t,” he whispered, voice low.
“You know how I always wanted a Prince Charming to come and sweep me off my feet?”
“I remember.” His gorgeous face was intense as he focused on me.
“What I’ve been looking for is a man to take me away from my shitty life, a man who would do everything in his power to keep me safe, a man who would put my happiness above his own. War’s that man. I was just too young to see that before and I… I made a lot of mistakes. I don’t deserve him. I’m certainly no prize, but most of the time he treats me like I am. We’ve got to stop doing this, Bryan. I’ve made a commitment to him.”
We were both still, the room completely silent but for our quiet breathing. Bryan’s fingers curled into my upper arms. “Alright, you’ve had your say. Now, it’s my turn.” His eyes glistened. “You say you’ve decided War’s the fucking one.” His voice was quiet but harsh. “How the hell can that be, Lace, when he’s giving you heroin? Some knight in shining armor. That’s bullshit. That’s not putting your happiness above his own.”
I shook my head in denial.
But he was hard to resist. The truth of his words, the pull of his personality, and the warmth and sincerity in his grey green eyes weakened my resolve and that was before he gently skimmed his knuckles down my cheek. “You need to ask him about the Morris deal, Lace. Then you need to open your eyes and see who really loves you. I always have. I always will.”
“What about Avery, then?” I threw out, too afraid to believe what I had wished for so long was true.
“Avery was never more than a friend. What little was there was destined to fail, and the truth is I didn’t want it to succeed. You are the only woman I’ve ever cared for, the only one I’ve ever made love to, the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
“Stop.” I begged. “Why are you telling me this now?” Tears gathered in the corner of my eyes, but I blinked them away. “It’s too late. You make me want to believe in a happily ever after for us, but that’s not reality. That’s a fairy tale. That’s something the woman I once was believed in, but I’m not that woman anymore.”
“That’s not true. That woman is still here. I’m looking right at her. You have more than enough faith for both of us. You’ve just lost your way.” He reached for me, but I drew away. “Talk to War,” he said grimly, “and then you’ll see. He’s the one who’s changed. He’s the one who’s not who he used to be.”
22
The bus ride from Atlanta to Orlando turned into six and a half hours of living hell. I didn’t see Lace at all, but thoughts of her in the back bedroom with War wearing that ring on her finger made me want to tear the hair out of my head.
I let out a loud sigh of frustration. Now that I’d decided to give up everything for her, she wouldn’t let me. If only I could just grab her and take her away, away from War, and away from the deception and drugs, maybe then I could convince her.
As hour bled into hour, I remained alone in the front lounge, settling for killing digital zombies on the bus game console, instead of going back and doing real harm to Lace’s drug enabling fiancé.
When the bus pulled up to the Contemporary hotel, I headed for my room without stopping to make small talk with anyone. The happiest place in the world my ass. It was jammed with parents, children, teenagers, and tons and tons of strollers. Fortunately my boots kept my feet from being maimed by errant wheels as I wove my way to the elevators. When the doors opened, I had to squeeze sideways to fit in. Though there was barely any room to breathe, it wasn’t half as crowded as my brain was right now. Crammed with thoughts of her. Of us.
But what more could I do? I’d said my piece. Lace knew where I stood. Now I had to wait, but I was not a patient man.
She’d better talk to War soon.
I cursed my bad luck that there wasn’t even a real concert to keep my mind occupied tonight, just a short set inside the Magic Kingdom that Tempest and Brutal Strength were obligated to do for one of the tour sponsors who had rented out the entire park for an afterhours affair for their employees.
Once I was inside my room, I dropped my guitar case on the floor and threw my sunglasses and bag on the white duvet that covered a king bed. A quick scan revealed an earth toned interior with modernistic décor similar to the lobby. Nothing to provide any real distraction. I crossed to the sliding glass doors and looked out at the view of the lagoon. I watched a parasail drift back down to the water before sliding my cell out of my pocket and dialing home. It picked up on the first ring. When she said hello she sounded out of breath.
“Hey, Mom. Did I catch you at a bad time?” I asked.
“No, sweetheart. I just came in from work and was cleaning the kitchen.”
I heard the sound of running water being shut off. “Are Miriam and Ann ok?”
“They are. Both made the honor roll again, but we’re all looking forward to the winter break. What’s up with you? I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days? You’re in Orlando, now, right?”
“Yeah.” I turned from the window and flopped on the bed.
“How’s Disney World?”
“I just got here. It’s a little surreal, I guess. Not exactly a rocker kind of place with all these rug rats running around.”
“I can imagine.” She laughed. “How’s Lace?”
Shit. She always had an alarming ability to zoom right in on whatever it was that was bothering me. “She and War got engaged last night,” I stated softly.
“Really?” The line was silent. “I would’ve thought that relationship would have run its course by now.”
I barked a humorless laugh. “Apparently not.” I rubbed a hand over the ache in my chest. “I love her, you know,” I admitted in a quick rush.
“I know.”
“How could you? I never said anything. Was it that obvious?” I worried.
“It was to me, but I’m your mom.” She sighed. “Seems like this has been building for some time. What are you going to do about it, Bry? Have you told her how you feel?”
“Oh, yeah, but it didn’t go over quite the way I’d hoped.”
“Well then, she’s not as smart as I thought she was.” A short pause. “I’m sorry, Bry. Maybe you should consider just letting her go.”
I’d been trying for the past two years.
“There are other girls out there. Any one of them would be lucky to have you. You’re a real catch.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’m glad you think so.” I glanced at my watch. “Hey, I’m sure you’re tired after your shift. I’d better let you go.”
“I’m ok. It’s great to hear from you, Bry. I’m so proud of you and all that you’ve accomplished, but I’ll be glad when you actually get to come home.”