Allison nodded, then led the way back to the table they’d left not long before. “For a football player, you sure know an awful lot about how this stuff works.”
If he was at all embarrassed, it was well concealed by his makeup. “Yeah, well, it’s been a while. Feels good to be back in costume and in character. Back in the saddle, so to speak. I have to say that being Garbaldar”—he pronounced the name with a guttural growl—“sure is a lot of fun. A lot more fun than getting pounded by linebackers. My dad says that Garbaldar won’t get me any scholarships for college, though, and being a tailback will. So ol’ Garby only comes out every so often.”
“Show her your tongue, Garby,” Chuck interjected, causing both Jimmy and TJ to laugh, though Stu looked as bemused by the statement as Allison felt.
Simon grinned for a moment and then said, “OK, gimme a second.” He turned and fidgeted for a few seconds before turning back around. “Thstand back, folksth,” he said and opened his mouth wide, allowing a six-inch tongue to unroll from inside it. He made a slurping noise and waggled it back and forth several times before reaching up and pulling the prosthetic off his real tongue. Allison initially recoiled, but quickly joined in on the laughter.
A voice drifted in from outside the lodge. “Group five, you’re up! Group five? Where are you?”
Jimmy jumped up from the table and said, “Whoa, that’s us already. They always do it in a random order, and we’ve never gone this quickly. Let’s get a move on. I don’t want to have the folks behind us hurrying us along. Hey, Allison, did you ever get that mace we were talking about? If not, I’ve got a spare in my car I can run and grab. She did take a proficiency in mace, right?”
TJ nodded. “Yeah, I made sure she took the mace skill, and that she took an armor proficiency too, so she can actually receive in-game defensive credit for that truly awesome . . . breastplate”—he snorted—“she’s wearing.” Allison rolled her eyes at him, but he pretended not to notice. “If you can go grab that mace from your trunk, that’d be great. And then we can get rolling!”
While they waited for Jimmy, the others went to the judge in charge of starting and checked in. He made sure that they matched the descriptions listed on his clipboard and then said, “OK, so here’s the scoop. You’re going to be traveling through the Duchy of Hanover on your way to Estervary. Just as a reminder, the Hanoverians aren’t particularly fond of magic.” He looked at TJ. “Or of nonhumans.” He looked at Simon. “Head due west into the woods and the adventure will begin. From this point on, coming out of character will cost you experience and treasure rewards, not to mention ruining the fun for everyone else.” He consulted his clipboard again and said, “OK, looks like TJ is the group leader.” The judge handed him an air horn. “In the case of an out-of-character emergency, blow this three times in rapid succession, and then once every minute afterward so that we can find you. In the case of an in-character emergency, well, I hope you know how to run.” He slapped TJ on the butt the way football players often do and winked. “Have fun storming the castle!”
By this time Jimmy had returned with Allison’s mace, as well as his own weapon, which was every bit as ridiculous as TJ had led her to believe. The handle was a good foot and a half long, and then the “blade,” which was only identifiable as such because it was emerging from the cross guard and painted silver, was another six feet if it was an inch. The foam padding that had been wrapped around the PVC pipe kept it from wobbling too much when it moved, but Allison decided that overall it still looked pretty stupid. It occurred to her, however, that if it was truly the only thing standing between her death at the hands of some power-mad wizard and his assorted minions, she would indulge a little ridiculousness.
She took the mace and hefted it in her hand—it wasn’t much more than a stick with a knobby end. Swinging it once or twice, she said, “Thanks. Hold it on this end, whack with that end, and no hits to the head or the, well, you-know-whats, right?”
“Right!” Jimmy gave her an encouraging smile.
“Got it. Let’s get moving.”
CHAPTER 4
The six headed off in the direction that the starting judge had indicated. Stu took point and Jimmy lagged behind, the two bookending the more pitifully armed and armored party members. Stu had an armband tied to his left arm, which indicated to the NPCs that he had the wilderness ability. Characters who had trained in that ability were less likely to be surprised when traveling in the woods. Any foes they ran into would be sure to make sufficient noise so that the player himself would be warned in time. Groups without such a character would get no added warning, which could be deadly if the monsters carried bows.
The open field gave way to forest, the brilliant fall foliage overhead blocking out much of the sun. The light that made it through to the forest floor was dappled and ephemeral, shifting as the leaves swayed gently in the breeze. Other than the sound of the wind whispering through the branches and the party’s footfalls, all was silent. In novels Allison had read, the lack of animal noises always signaled something nasty that had scared the local fauna. But she figured it was just as likely it was their party causing the birds and squirrels to be still as it was some goblins lying in wait.
The friends walked along a rudimentary path that led to one of the campsites farther away from the central lodge. Earlier, Chuck had explained to Allison that, for practical reasons, each adventure typically covered roughly the same area of the nature reserve. None of the organizers had the time or inclination to create brand-new paths and structures every time. The stories changed, of course, and how the terrain was used varied from weekend to weekend, but they had walked down this very path several times before.
Suddenly, Stu raised his fist. Everyone stumbled to a stop and looked wildly around for danger. Chuck held his dagger at the ready, and TJ casually opened his beanbag pouch to prepare to cast a spell. Jimmy inched closer to the rest of the group, his sword raised and ready to strike. Everyone’s ears strained to catch any sounds.
When no danger materialized, Stu’s hand dropped back down, and he began moving forward once again. Not three steps later, a cough rang out from beside the path, and he spun, his bow drawn and aimed at a nearby bush.
A cackling voice called out, “Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! Unarmed and friendly-like, I am. You see me, yes?”
“See you?” Allison smirked. “Well, you’re still hiding behind that bush, so it’s kinda hard to see much of anything.”
The voice replied, “Come out, can I? Or shoot me and smite me will you, and leave my poor Wilfred without a father?”
With a long look back along the path, Jimmy moved forward to stand protectively between the bushes and the rest of the party. Stu’s bow was still drawn, but he looked inquiringly at the others.
TJ cleared his voice and called out, “Yes, you can come out, if you mean us no harm. But be aware that if you act in a hostile manner toward us, it will go all the worse for you.”
“Oh yes, great master. Yes, kind I will be. And polite. And friendly-like. Oh yes!” The voice sounded to Allison like a cross between Gollum and Yoda. A head peeked out of the bush, followed quickly by the rest of the creature. The young man playing the character wore a grotesque mask that sported a long nose and bushy eyebrows, and he wore a generic brown robe that covered his entire body.
“Goblin,” TJ murmured to Allison. “Not a serious threat to us unless he has a couple dozen more hiding among the trees. However, they’re devious and are not to be trusted.”