I saw Mommy chewing Santa Claus
Underneath the Christmas tree last night.
I snuck up without a peep
Behind Mommy, the Zombie creep,
Now she’s biting off Santa Claus’s cheek.
When I saw Mommy chewing Santa Claus
Underneath his beard now turning red,
Oh what a laugh we would have said
If Daddy weren’t already dead
While Mommy chewed on Santa Claus last night.
ZOMBIES ON THE HOUSETOP
Sung to the tune of “Up on the Housetop”
Up on the housetop, Zombies pause,
Eating poor old Santa Claus.
Down through the chimney come Santa’s parts.
Once a Zombie bites—ouch that smarts!
Chorus
Ho, Ho, Ho, better not go.
Ho, Ho, Ho, better not go.
Up on the housetop, snack, snack, snack.
Down through the chimney comes Santa’s back.
First comes the corpse of little Nell.
Oh, those Zombies bit it well.
Forget about a dolly that laughs and cries,
Zombies die first then open their eyes.
Chorus
Next the undead are stalking little Will.
Oh, just see he’s a glorious meal.
We use a hammer and lots of tacks,
And he has a brain and a spine that cracks.
Ho, ho ho! Who wouldn’t go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?
Up on the housetop, snack, snack, snack!
Down through the chimney with Santa’s back!
WE THREE SPLEENS
Sung to the tune of “We Three Kings”
We three spleens, you know where we are:
Two in the kitchen and one in the car.
We are still eating, people are fleeing.
Let’s eat the one in the car.
O-oooh, spleens of wonder, they taste right.
We could eat spleens all day and night.
We’re still eating, people screaming.
Let’s eat until first light.
THE ZOMBIE CHRISTMAS SONG
Sing to the tune of “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)”
Fresh brains roasting on an open fire,
Zombies chewing off your nose—
It all began when they ate the whole choir.
They’re even eating Eskimos.
Everybody knows a leg bone and someone’s toes
Make a Zombie’s season bright.
Tiny tots, with their eyes in a bowl,
Will find it hard to see tonight!
We know Zombie Santa’s on his way;
He’s eaten lots of boys and girls in his sleigh,
And every mother’s child is going to spy
To see if Zombie reindeer really know how to fly.
And so I’m running to get out of here
Before the Zombies eat me too.
Although it’s been said about the Undead,
If you don’t run, they will feast on you.
UNDEAD CHRISTMAS
Sung to the tune of “Blue Christmas”
I’ll have an undead Christmas without you.
I’ll be so undead, and not thinking about you.
Hanging lots of red brains on a green Christmas tree
Won’t mean a thing if you’re not undead with me.
I’ll have an undead Christmas, that’s certain.
And when that Zombie bites me, I’m hurtin’.
You’ll be running all night, from every Zombie in sight,
And I’ll have an undead, undead Christmas.
IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE ZOMBIES
Sung to the tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”
It’s beginning to look a lot like Zombies
Everywhere you go.
They’re in the five and ten, eating brains once again,
Faces smeared with blood and all aglow!
It’s beginning to look a lot like Zombies!
They’re in every store!
But the scariest sight to see is the Zombies that will be
At your own front door.
There’s no need for boots, or a pistol that shoots,
Just the brains of Barney and Ben.
Zombies will stalk when you go for your walk,
And they’ll eat Janice and Jen.
And Mom and Dad, already turned, are eating brains again.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Zombies
Everywhere you go.
They’ve stormed the Grand Hotel, and filled the park as well.
They’re hungry and they sure don’t mind the snow!
It’s beginning to look a lot like Zombies!
Blood splattered on the floor!
But the scariest sight to see is the Zombies that will be
At your own front door!
NOTHING LIKE BRAINS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Sung to the tune of “There’s No Place Like Home for the Holidays”
Oh there’s nothing like brains for the holidays!
No matter how far away you roam,
When you’re hungry for the taste
Of someone else’s face,
For the holidays, you can’t beat
Brains, sweet brains!
I ate a man who lived in Tennessee,
And he was headed for Pennsylvania,
To go eat his mother’s eye.
From Pennsylvania folks are traveling down
To Dixie’s sunny shore.
From Atlantic to Pacific, gee!
The cerebrum tastes terrific!
Oh there’s nothing like brains
For the holidays! ’Cause no matter
How much your own mouth foams,
If you want to be happy in a million ways,
For the holidays, you can’t beat
Brains, sweet brains.
ZOMBIE WONDERLAND
Sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”
Undead moan, are you listening?
In the lane, blood is glistening.
A horrible sight,
We’re screaming tonight,
Runnin’ through a Zombie wonderland.
Already turned, is our neighbor!
Zombies here, I belabor.
They moan their own song,
As we scream along,
Sprintin’ through a Zombie wonderland.
In the meadow, we can beg for mercy.
They’ve already eaten Parson Brown.
They’ll come for us next,
And we’ll say, “No man!”
We’re getting’ the hell
Out of this town.
Later on, we’ll perspire,
As we scream, by the fire.
I’ll say we’re afraid
Of the Zombies they’ve made,
Runnin’ through a Zombie wonderland.
