"He had threatened you. He had threatened to kill you. It was self-defence."
"No, Fermor. No!"
"Listen, Melisande. There will be a trial. Everything that can be done, shall be done. There are ways—have no doubt of that—and I shall find them."
"Fermor," she said, "why? It is better that I should be here. What good is there in life?"
"This is madness! What good? You will be with me—that is the good which will come out of this, and I shall not be searching for you ceaselessly."
"And Caroline . . . your wife?"
"She is grieved. She blames herself in some way."
"She . . . she blames herself! How does she know? What does she know?"
"She knows what she reads in the papers."
"It is in the papers then?"
"People are talking about the mysterious shooting in Hyde Park. They are all saying that he was your lover, that he had promised you marriage and jilted you."
She laughed.
"Was it so? Was it so?"
"I can answer that. It was not so."
"What was it, Melisande? Tell me, darling. I must know the truth. We must know everything. We must be prepared for cross-examination. But do not be afraid. We will have the best men on our side. Everything that I can do shall be done, and, believe me, I can do a good deal. I have friends who will move Heaven and Earth. Melisande, do not be afraid. Tell me everything. I tell you, I can get you out of this. I can save you."
She said: "There is so much I want to know. I did not think I cared, but I do. Caroline ... is she very ill?"
"She was badly hurt. She walks with difficulty."
"Ah ... I did that."
"Nonsense! She did it herself."
"And you, Fermor... you and Caroline ? How is life between you ?"
"How can it be anything than what it is . . . what it always has been."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry for others. Be sorry for yourself. You are in a terrible position, my darling. That is why you must be sensible . . . reasonable. We need all our wits if we are to bring this off. We'll do it, never fear. But it is not easy. We have to work at it with ail our might and strength, with every means at our disposal."
"You are so strong," she said.
"And here to* defend you ... to make up for everything ... to show you that I will always be there whenever you want me. Don't be afraid, Melisande. But you must be sensible . . . reasonable."
"Reasonable . . . sensible! They are always telling me that. It is because I am so unreasonable ... so far from sensible that things like this happen to me."
3°4 IT BEGAN IN VAUXHALL GARDENS
"Now listen, my darling. You've been through an ordeal. At any moment now that door will open and you will be taken back to your cell. I am arranging that you shall have a cell to yourself. I am arranging everything in future. But now, for Heaven's sake, let us waste no more time. We must have our story ready . . . and it has to be fool-proof."
She was laughing again with that wild laughter which was near to tears.
"Oh, Fermor," she said, "you are not good, are you. You would cheat your wife . . . you would cheat justice, and yet ... I wish I could live ... if it could be with you."
"Don't laugh like that. Of course you're going to live. I shall send our man along to you and he will tell you what you must say . . . how to conduct yourself. Melisande, you will need all your calm, all your wits; and when you are being questioned by our enemies, you must remember that I am waiting. I shall be there. I shall be where you can see me, and when you look at me, my darling, you will know that I am waiting."
"Oh Fermor!" she said; and quite suddenly she began to weep, for life had ceased to be intolerable and she did not want to die.
Now she saw what she could have done. She could have left the pistol in the house; she could have gone to Fermor; she could have told him of her fears; and then she would not be here now.
She just lay in his arms, unable to speak, unable to think, unable' to do anything but weep for the pity of it; and as she wept, the warder came to tell Fermor that he must go.
Andrew Beddoes came to see her.
She was surprised that he should come. He looked neat and just as she remembered him; and yet that anxious expression was something she had never seen before.
He had married, he told her; he had made an excellent match; but he did not forget her. He had come to tell her that he was ready to take on her defence.
^'But why?" she asked. "Why should you do that?"
"Because I wish to do something for you. I have thought of you continually since I last saw you. And now that this has happened, I want to offer you my services."
She held out her hand to him.
"I misjudged you," she said. "I have made so many mistakes. But you must not make one now. You can do nothing for me. I am guilty. I killed this man and I shall have to take the consequences of my act."
"If you did it in self-defence there would be a term of imprisonment, but your youth . . . your beauty, would, I am sure, make a good impression on the judge and jury. Nobody could believe you guilty of a wanton crime. Believe me, we can hope for leniency. We can have the public with us. You'll be surprised what public support can do. Don't be afraid. We'll work this out together."
"I shall never forget that you came. I hope you will forgive the harsh things I said to you."
"There is nothing to forgive. Your ideals were higher than mine."
"I was so ignorant. I thought men and women were divided into sheep and wolves. I can see now that they are not. What a pity I had to learn such a little thing in such a violent way. But perhaps not. I shall pay for my knowledge with my life. But there will be no more trials, no more lessons of life to learn."
"Please don't talk like this. You must not be despondent. Your case is far from hopeless. Believe me, a young girl like you has a chance. I have made enquiries. Randall was something of an adventurer, it seems. We can bring in a good case against him, I am sure."
"Thank you. But I killed him, you know."
"Tell me the truth. Tell me everything, and we will decide what our case must be."
"Listen, Mr. Beddoes. I thank you for coming to see me. I shall never forget that you came to see me. There is nothing you can do. I had my own reasons for killing that man. I did it deliberately. I shall tell no one why I did it."
"If we are going to make a case ..."
"We are not. I shall go into the dock, and when they ask me if I am guilty or not guilty, I shall say guilty. I shall say I killed Thorold. Randall, and my reasons were my own."
"You must not do that."
"It is the truth and it is what I shall say."
"There must have been a good reason. Just tell me the reason. He threatened you? You were jilted by him?"
"No. It is not as simple as that. Goodbye, Mr. Beddoes. I know why you came. It is because you have a feeling, deep in your heart, that you are responsible for the position in which I now find myself. You offered me marriage, and it was because I was to have a dowry . . ."
"It was not only that. I was fond of you. I was delighted at the prospect of marrying you. . . ."
306 IT BEGAN IN VAUXHALL GARDENS
"I believe you, Mr. Beddoes. And you have an uncomfortable feeling that, because of what you did, you may in some measure have contributed to what has happened to me. Please don't feel like that. It has nothing to do with you, believe me. You are exonerated. And one of my most cherished memories will be that you came here and offered your help. You have taught me a little more . . . something that I have taken a long time to learn, I am afraid. Thank you for coming, Mr. Beddoes, and do believe me when I say there is nothing you can do for me."