‘Give an asshole a modicum of power … I never want to subordinate anyone and I never want to be subordinated … ’
‘I know it sounds cliché but he just fit. Everything, like not just his dick size. But he did get a bit of a panza and it did bother me, the way it rubbed up against me. I know that sounds superficial. It’s weird.’
‘I like Wodehouse because his novels are like antidepressants.’
‘I don’t want to be cremated. My life’s ambition is to become a skeleton. At least for a little while.’
‘She’s about as empathetic as a boa constrictor.’
‘People say cellar door’s the most like phonoaesthetically beautiful phrase but I preferlethal injection.’
‘We let film and video do far too much of our dreaming for us.’
‘My theory on celebrity is that after twenty-one you’re no longer a celebrity; it’s democratizing.’
‘Women are just so wildly beautiful that getting them pregnant, perhaps several times, altering their bodies, is the only way to get them to accept the monster that is Man. But I’m not saying women are so shit-hot in the end, either.’
‘Sure — let me know.’
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
John Goldbach is the author of The Devil and the Detective, a novel, and Selected Blackouts, a story collection.
The author would like to thank the following:
T. F. Berger, T. Berry, J. Breakfast, T. Burke, A. Carless, S. Gordon, L. Henderson, K. Hutchinson, M. Iossel, P. E. Lessard, R. P. Lindsay, M. Maillet, M. Matthews, D. McGimpsey, J. Novakovich, J. Parker, V. Simmonds, M. Sutton, A. Sweetman, A. Szymanski, C. Tucker, H. Waechtler, B. Wainaina, E. Walsh and (esp.) A. Wilcox. And his friends and family, &c.