“El . . . Now. I can’t . . .” He came hard, pressing deep inside her, his fingers digging into her flesh as he let go, taking her with him into another epic release.
That had never happened before. She was lucky to come once during sex, let alone twice.
Gavin came down on top of her, warm and sweaty and breathing hard.
Ella wrapped her arms around him, wanting to stay right here in this perfect moment forever. For once, she wasn’t yearning for something—or someone—she couldn’t have. Everything she’d ever wanted was right here in her arms, and he seemed as happy to be there as she was to have him.
“Am I crushing you?” he asked.
“Not at all.”
“You okay?”
“I’m great. You?”
He lifted his head to kiss her. “I’m fantastic.”
Ella smiled up at him. It was great to hear him say that in light of his recent state of mind.
He kissed her again, nipping at her bottom lip.
She wrapped her hand around his nape to keep him there, opening her mouth to his tongue. After having a taste of him, she was hungry for more. She had a big week coming up at work with the staff retreat on Friday night and the subsequent kickoff of the holiday shopping season. They really ought to blow out the candles and go to sleep or she’d be a wreck tomorrow.
But with Gavin Guthrie naked in her bed and throbbing inside her, sleep was the very last thing on her mind.
CHAPTER 9
The only cure for grief is action.
—George Henry Lewes
It had been a very long time since Gavin had felt as good as he did lying in Ella’s arms after making love to her for the first time. The spinning had stopped, the sickening despair was gone and what remained was a tiny kernel of hope that wanted to bloom into something strong and lasting.
She was like an oasis, offering him things he hadn’t known he needed. Her sweet softness was a welcome respite from the hell his life had become.
The stroke of her fingers through his hair soothed and calmed the restlessness he carried with him always.
“Gav?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I ask you something that’s none of my business?”
“Sure.”
“Why aren’t you going to Dylan’s wedding?”
The question took him by surprise, and he had no idea how to reply in a way that she would understand. “Work is so busy. It’s hard for me to get away.”
“Surely you have someone you could leave in charge for a few days.”
“I suppose, but I’d be stressed out worrying about it the whole time I was gone, so why bother going?”
“Because your good friend is getting married, and he wants you there?”
Gavin already felt guilty enough about declining the invitation to Dylan’s wedding. How could he explain that Dylan was really Caleb’s friend, and the only reason he’d been invited was because he was Caleb’s brother? “I’d love to be there.” He said what she needed to hear, because the truth was too painful to discuss, especially when he was feeling so damned good for a change. “Dylan understands about the business and how hard it is for me to get away.”
“Hmm.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing, I’m just listening.”
“Why do I feel like there’s so much more you want to say?”
She didn’t say anything for a long time. And then . . . “It’s just, I wonder . . .”
“What do you wonder?”
“What’s the point of being self-employed if you can’t do what you want once in a while?”
“You’re self-employed. Do you get to do whatever you want?”
“For the most part. We try to respect the fact that we have nice jobs and are fortunate to work for ourselves. We don’t take advantage, but no one is hanging over our shoulders making sure we do our jobs. Hunter wants us there on time in the morning because it sets the right example for the sales force, and we agree with that. As much as we love the store and working for the family business, we have lives outside of work that we love just as much. It’s called balance. You need to get some if you feel like you can’t take a week off once in a while.”
She made good points, and they were things he’d certainly thought of himself. However, work brought a rhythm to his days that he badly needed to stay on track. The thought of a week without work made him twitchy and nervous. If he hadn’t had his business to focus on over the last seven years, he’d probably be institutionalized by now.
As much as he loved the way he felt when he was around her, especially now that they’d made love, she was the one mirror he couldn’t avoid. She saw him so clearly. His bullshit didn’t stand a chance against those insightful brown eyes that studied him so knowingly.
Grasping the base of the condom, he withdrew from her carefully.
“Bathroom’s in there,” she said, pointing to a closed door.
“Thanks.” He went into the bathroom, disposed of the condom and washed up, avoiding the mirror over the sink. Her insightfulness unsettled him and made him aware of how tuned into him she really was. It was becoming painfully obvious to him that if they were going to do this, really give it an honest chance, he wasn’t going to be able to get away with the old tricks. His artful dodger routine wasn’t going to fly with Ella.
He wet a washcloth and brought it back to the bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he let his gaze take a perusing journey from her long legs to her flat abdomen to her small but perky breasts to her gorgeous face and the eyes that watched him so closely.
Gavin held up the washcloth. “May I?”
In a move so sexy, so innocent and so utterly captivating, she inched her feet apart, exposing herself to him. He forced himself to stay focused on the task at hand, even though he was already hard again for her. She was so damned gorgeous and sexy and the way she cared about him was a huge turn-on, even if it forced him to confront his deepest demons.
When he was done, he tossed the washcloth aside and climbed back into bed with her, wanting her close to him.
Apparently she wanted the same thing. Wrapped up in her, with her arms and legs around him, he felt himself falling into the soft, safe place she’d given him to land. “Ella . . .”
“Hmm . . .”
“You, this . . . It feels so good.”
“Yes, it does. I want you to feel good, Gavin.” She kissed him, and without breaking the kiss, he brought her with him when he moved to his back, loving the feel of her on top of him. The squeeze of her flat belly against his hard cock made him breathless with the need for more of her.
She broke the kiss and shifted ever so slightly on top of him, kissing his face, jaw, neck and throat, biting down on a tendon in his neck that made him want to howl from the jolt of pure pleasure that ripped through him. Then her tongue found his nipple, and he nearly levitated right out of bed when she brought her teeth into the act.
God, he was never going to survive her.
She continued a path downward, giving each muscle in his abdomen individual attention that had him clinging to his sanity. By the time she wrapped her hand around his cock he was prepared to beg her for relief. No begging was needed, however, when she dragged her tongue around the head, cleaning up the moisture that had formed during her slow, sexy seduction.
As she licked and sucked and stroked him exactly the right way, it occurred to Gavin that she’d obviously done this before—a thought that made him see red from the rage of imagining her touching another man the way she touched him. It was irrational, he knew, to think he was first, but God, the thought of her with any other guy was unbearable.