She was right on the brink when he pushed into her again and sent her flying over the edge, screaming from the power of her release. Nothing had ever been like this. Ever. Wrapping her arms around him, she drew him into a kiss that ended when he threw his head back and came with a low growl. He was so fierce and beautiful, his strong jaw clenching, his eyes closed and his lips parted.
Ella took a mental picture of what he looked like as he lost himself in her. It was something she wanted to remember always. She held on tight to him, locked in the bliss they found together. It was everything she’d ever hoped it would be and so much more that she’d never dreamed possible.
If they could have this, just this, for the rest of their lives, Ella would never want for anything else.
CHAPTER 15
There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.
—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
On Thursday night, Gavin’s parents invited them to a cocktail reception at the Guthrie Inn.
“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Ella said, tuning in to his reluctance.
“I want to support my parents. The inn has been so good for them.”
“But?”
“No buts,” he said, forcing a smile for her. He honestly didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to be around women who’d lost their husbands to war. Though he supported the wonderful work his parents and Hannah were doing at the inn, he didn’t want anything to do with it.
But he couldn’t very well tell his parents that, not when the inn had given them new focus and energy as they worked in Caleb’s name to help others. It would be petty of him to undermine their newfound purpose by appearing less than supportive. He couldn’t do that to them.
So they went.
His mother greeted them with the big, bright smile that used to be so much a part of who she was until her son’s death dimmed the light inside her.
It was a relief to see her eyes dancing with excitement and joy again. Gavin hadn’t realized how much he’d missed that until now.
“Come in, have a drink, and Hannah made some delicious appetizers.”
“Sounds great,” Ella said. She was stunning in a black sweater, sexy gray pants that showed off her spectacular ass and even sexier black boots.
Gavin was so damned proud to have her at his side. This last week with her had been right out of a dream. He’d forgotten what it felt like to be happy—truly, deeply happy. Everything, even the supremely crappy days at work, had been easier to deal with knowing he got to go home to her each night.
His gaze shifted from Ella’s sexy body to the picture of his brother that adorned the foyer now that the Guthrie family home was the Capt. Caleb M. Guthrie Memorial Retreat. Caleb’s fierce expression in his official Army Ranger photo got to Gavin every time he allowed himself to look at it. Almost eight years later, it was still a vicious punch to the gut to remember he would never see that face again.
Gavin forced himself to look away lest he be dragged down into the rabbit hole of despair once again. He refused to let that happen when he had so many good things happening in his life. Resisting the rabbit hole had become a part-time job, but it was easier now with Ella by his side.
With her hand curled around his, he followed Ella into the kitchen, where her sister was arranging bruschetta on a platter. Hannah was beginning to show in the subtle rounding of her abdomen. Her cheeks were fuller, too, but her eyes told the true story. She’d rediscovered her joy, and it was a lovely thing to see indeed.
For so long after Caleb died, the two of them and his parents had been like the walking wounded, none of them quite sure how to go forward without the man who’d been at the center of all their lives. The other three were showing signs of recovery. Perhaps it was time for him to let it happen to him, too.
Caleb wasn’t coming back, as much as he wished otherwise. None of the raging, fighting or drinking had done a damned thing to assuage his bitter loss. If possible, he’d only succeeded in making everything worse.
Gavin took a deep breath, forcing his wandering mind to stay in the present rather than drifting to the past where trouble lay.
As she talked and laughed with her sister, Ella kept a firm grip on his hand, as if she knew he needed the connection.
He gave her hand a gentle squeeze that she returned, making him feel as connected to her as he did when they made love.
Nolan came into the kitchen, carrying an empty tray. “You’re a hit, babe. Everyone is clamoring for more.”
“Here you are,” Hannah said, smiling widely at her husband as she handed him the platter of bruschetta.
“You’ve been thoroughly domesticated, Nolan,” Gavin said in a teasing tone.
“Watch out,” Nolan said, nodding to his and Ella’s joined hands. “It could happen to you, too, my friend.”
Ella grinned at him, and suddenly the thought of being domesticated didn’t seem so bad if she were the one doing the training. He could get on board with her brand of domestication.
Hannah filled more trays, and they helped her carry them into the room that used to be her sitting room and was now a gathering place for inn guests. A roaring fire added to the cozy atmosphere as groups of women enjoyed drinks and the food Hannah had lovingly provided.
Gavin’s parents circulated, filling glasses and checking on their guests. On a table laden with food, Gavin retrieved a bottle of beer out of a bowl of ice and cracked it open. Ella’s parents joined the party as did her brother Will and his wife, Cameron, who’d designed the inn’s website.
A lot of work had gone into creating this oasis for women struggling to put their lives back together after unimaginable loss. Sadly, even with the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan over or winding down, the need for the services they provided here was still acute. The inn was sold out through next summer.
Amelia used the handle of a fork against her crystal glass to get everyone’s attention.
The din in the room quieted and all eyes turned to Gavin’s mother.
“I want to thank you all for being here tonight,” Amelia said. “We hope to make these parties part of our overall effort to include our lovely guests in the community of Butler so they will always feel like they have a second home here. In the months since our opening, we’ve had more than fifty guests from twenty different states come to spend some time with us. All have left with new friends, an enhanced support network and yet another place to call home. I want to say a special thank you to Cameron Abbott, who is here tonight, for her amazing work on our website.”
A polite round of applause had Cameron smiling and blushing from the attention. “My pleasure.”
“And to my daughter-in-law for life, Hannah Roberts . . . This was all your doing, and Bob and I couldn’t be more proud of all you’ve done to ensure that Caleb’s legacy lives on forever.”
As Hannah blinked back tears and kissed his mother’s cheek, Ella looked up at Gavin, seeming to check on him. He smiled down at her, hoping he was reassuring her.
“I’ve asked Cindy, one of our current guests, to say a few words,” Amelia said, “so I’ll turn it over to her. Cindy?”
A petite blonde walked to the front of the room, her cheeks flushed with what might’ve been nerves. Gavin noticed she still wore her engagement and wedding rings on her left hand, and the sight of those rings made him unreasonably sad for someone he’d never met.
“Thank you so much, Amelia, Bob and Hannah for this lovely gathering tonight as well as the warm welcome I’ve received this week. It’s been such a treat to get away from it all, to spend some time in this beautiful corner of the country and to be with you all.” Her gesture encompassed the other guests. “I feel like I’ve made lifetime friends here, and I’ll always be grateful for the respite.” She took a deep breath before she continued. “Like many of you, my life has been split in half—before and after. On a regular Tuesday morning, I was getting my kids ready for the day when my doorbell rang. I expected my neighbor who came two mornings a week to take my daughter to preschool. Because my son was an infant, she saved me the trouble of packing up both kids to deliver Brianna to her. I had my son on my hip when I swung open the door to men in uniform. I don’t remember much of that day. Apparently, I passed out at the sight of those men, but my maternal instincts were still intact because I somehow managed to shield my baby with my own body so he wasn’t injured. I can’t even think about what my poor daughter had to endure with her mom out cold on the floor, her brother screaming and men she didn’t recognize at the door. She was four then. I hope she won’t remember it, but she also won’t remember much about her father, and that breaks my heart.”