“I always want to be here when you need me.”
“Will you let me do the same for you?” he asked. “Will you lean on me the way you’ve allowed me to lean on you?”
“There’s no one I’d rather lean on than you.”
His smile lit up his face, and the eyes that had been so desolate a short time ago came alive again.
“I love that smile of yours,” she said, tracing it with her finger.
“I love having a reason to smile again. Thanks for that, too.”
“My pleasure.”
“Speaking of your pleasure, it’s been hours and hours since I kissed you.”
“I was wondering when you were going to notice that.”
Still smiling, he brought his lips down on hers for a kiss that went from soft and sweet to hot and sultry in about ten seconds.
Ella held him close to her, loving the feel of his lips on hers, the roughness of his whiskers, the passionate thrust of his tongue. She loved everything about kissing him and being with him this way, whether they were talking about the worst day of his life or kissing passionately, she loved it all. When he tightened his hold on her and stood to carry her into the bedroom, she squeaked in surprise that quickly turned to desire. Sleeping next to him every night had quickly become her favorite thing in the world, and she couldn’t wait to snuggle into his warm embrace once again.
He put her down next to the bed and helped her out of her clothes while she did the same for him.
She wanted to brush her teeth and wash off her makeup, but he gathered her up into his warm embrace, his head leaning against her shoulder.
Ella wrapped her arms around his waist, loving the feel of his skin against hers, the roughness of his chest hair and the scent of his cologne. She loved everything about him, even more so after their conversation about the worst day of his life. His love for his brother ran deep, even after all these years.
“Will you do something for me?” Ella asked.
“Anything you want.”
“Sit on the edge of the bed.”
He did as she requested.
“Now lean back and get comfortable.” She reached for a pillow and dropped it to the floor before kneeling in front of him.
“Ella . . . What’re you doing?”
“Exactly what I want to do. Nothing more, nothing less.”
He blew out a deep breath. “I so don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do, Gavin.” She ran her hands from his calves to his knees and inner thighs, settling between his legs. “You deserve me, and I deserve you.”
His fingers slid through her hair as she bent her head to run her tongue up the length of his erection, making him tremble. She loved his reaction so much she did it again.
“Ella,” he whispered. “You’re killing me.”
“Relax and enjoy it.”
“Right,” he said with a tense laugh. “Relax when you’re doing that?”
Equal parts amused and aroused, she wrapped her hand around the thick base and began to stroke him while continuing to tease the tip with her tongue. Never before had she wanted so badly to rock a man’s world with her mouth and tongue and hand.
She wanted to give Gavin cause to think about this moment for days. Drawing him into her mouth, she sucked lightly while lashing him with her tongue and stroking him faster with her hand.
His fingers tangled in her hair, which made her scalp tingle. “Ella . . . Baby, if you keep that up . . . Oh fuck . . .”
She’d never before allowed a man to come in her mouth, but she’d never loved any of them the way she loved Gavin. So when his fingers tightened around her hair, when his breathing became shallow and rapid, when his thighs tightened, she didn’t stop. Rather she kept it up until he raised his hips and came with a groan.
Then he released her hair and fell backward onto the mattress, his chest and abdomen heaving like a bellows.
Ella licked him clean, absorbing each tremor and aftershock before moving up to rest on top of him.
His arms encircled her.
She closed her eyes, basking in the incredible sweetness of the moment with the man she loved beyond reason. At some point in the last few days of incredible bliss with him she’d forgotten all about her plans to be careful, to guard her heart, to be wary. She was all in and getting in deeper by the minute.
CHAPTER 16
Hope will never be silent.
—Harvey Milk
Gavin drove her home in the morning, so early it was still dark when they pulled up to her place. “I’m so not ready for how cold it is today,” he said.
“Happens every year around this time.”
“Always catches me by surprise.”
“I have something that’ll keep you warm today,” she said as he followed her inside to have breakfast before they went their separate ways for the day.
“I can’t wait to see this.”
They stepped into the front hall and Ella nearly jumped a foot when Mrs. Abernathy appeared out of the gloaming.
“You’re off to an early start this morning, Ella,” the older woman said. She wore a bathrobe and held a mug of coffee.
“As are you, Mrs. Abernathy.”
“Good morning, Gavin.”
“Morning,” he muttered as he followed Ella up the stairs. “God, she scared the shit out of me.”
“Me, too.”
Inside the apartment, they took off their coats and Ella headed directly to the coffeemaker.
He was right behind her, molding his body to hers and making her forget about what she’d been doing. “It’s going to be all over town by noon that we’re sleeping together. Are you okay with that?”
Ella tipped her head to give him better access to her neck. “I don’t care if you don’t.”
“I don’t. But your parents . . . Your dad . . . What will he say?”
“I’m thirty-one, Gavin. What can he say?”
“Um, a lot?”
“He and my gramps have been on a campaign to get us all settled down and happy. This is exactly what he wants.”
“He wants me making mad, crazy love to his beautiful daughter every chance I get?”
She laughed. “He might not want that, but he wants me happy.”
“Are you happy, Ella?”
“How can you ask me that? I’ve never been so happy in my whole life.” She turned to him, resting her hands on his chest. “I’ve finally got what I’ve always wanted. How could I be anything less than elated?”
“I like that word. Elated. It looks good on you.”
She reached up to caress his face. “Happy looks good on you, too.”
“It feels good.” He leaned in to press his lips to hers. “It feels so good.”
With his lips sliding over hers and the hard press of his erection against her belly, Ella was tempted to forget all about the big day she had ahead of her at work. She wanted nothing more than to drag him back to bed for more of what they’d shared during the night. She ought to be completely exhausted, but rather she was buzzing from the incredible high they’d found together.
“You want pancakes?” he asked, tearing himself away from the kiss reluctantly.
Ella let him go just as reluctantly. They had a long day ahead before they could be together again later. Thinking about that would give her something to look forward to today. “That sounds good.” She got out the ingredients and left him to start their breakfast while she went into her bedroom. In the closet, she found the sweater she had knitted for him during the long months she’d spent wishing for what she had now.
She held up the gray fisherman’s sweater that she’d poured her heart and soul into making for the man she’d loved from afar. It had seemed like such a silly thing to do at the time, but throwing herself into the project had given her an outlet for the yearning that had taken her over.